It’s impossible to stop self-comparison as a perfectionist. You.Are.Going.To.Compare.Yourself and here’s the best way to do it! Discover 6 empowering ways to rewire unhealthy self-comparisons, perfectionism trash trades, how to tell if you’re fear-based striving, live coaching on 4 IRL examples of comparing, the only skillset you need for this to work 100% of the time  and a tool to instantly upgrade comparing yourself  On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire TIMESTAMPS:01:26-Choosing Your Response to Comparisons03:07-The Skill Set of CAKE05:41-Trash Trades in Perfectionism06:55-Healthy vs. Unhealthy Comparisons08:47-How to Reframe Self-Critical Thoughts09:25-Breaking Free from Fear-Based Striving10:49-Living in the Present, Not the Future15:52-What Self-Comparisons Actually Reveal17:39-Tool to instantly upgrade comparing yourself21:48-How Tiny, Mighty Progress Fuels You Resources Mentioned In Episode 247:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionComparing Yourself [PART ONE] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 245How Can I Stop Comparing Myself [PART TWO] Perfectionism Rewired Eo. 246Meeting Yourself Where You Are Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 187Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193 Citations/Sources:Olson, J. M., Buhrmann, O., & Roese, N. J. (2000). Comparing Comparisons. Handbook of Social Comparison, 379–398. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4615-4237-7_18Sirois, F.M., Monforton, J. and Simpson, M. (2010) "If Only I Had Done Better": Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 36 (12). 1675 - 1692. ISSN 0146-1672 https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614Stoeber, J., & Diedenhofen, B. (2017). Multidimensional perfectionism and counterfactual thinking: Some think upward, others downward. Personality and Individual Differences, 119, 118–121. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.009‌‌

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Tactical "stop it" approaches to self-comparison DO NOT WORK for perfectionists. Find out WHY along with the hidden costs of comparing yourself, why the approach you’ve taken to stopping self-comparison hasn't worked, what you actually need to do and scientifically what causes perfectionists to have an even harder time than non-perfectionistic people in rewiring this habit. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire TIMESTAMPS:00:00-Why self comparison tactics fail perfectionists01:41-The hidden costs of comparing yourself06:31-Recognize self comparison as a type of self punishment.10:11-Why intellect isn't enough to rewire perfectionist tendencies12:13-Developing skill sets over gathering knowledge15:00-Why it's scientifically harder for perfectionists to stop unhealthy self-comparison16:08-Acceptance vs. judgment in rewiring perfectionism18:00-What Silver vs. bronze medalists show us about comparing yourself to others21:30-Choosing growth over fear of failure Resources Mentioned In Episode 246:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionComparing Yourself (pt.1) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 245Discovering Your Hidden Motivators Perfectionism Rewired  Ep. 80Intrinsic Motivational Patterns Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 66 Citations/Sources:Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138  Sirois, F.M., Monforton, J. and Simpson, M. (2010) "If Only I Had Done Better": Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 36 (12). 1675 - 1692. ISSN 0146-1672 https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614Stoeber, J., & Diedenhofen, B. (2017). Multidimensional perfectionism and counterfactual thinking: Some think upward, others downward. Personality and Individual Differences, 119, 118–121. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.009‌‌

Comparing yourself all the time? Tired of feeling like you never quite measure up...no matter how much you accomplish? It's not just YOU! Discover the sneaky specific ways self-comparison shows up for perfectionists, the difference between self-awareness + self-coaching, why self-comparison is not your fault but is your responsibility to change.  On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewireTIMESTAMPS:00:00-How you can stop comparing yourself to others02:32-The Annoying Problem with Surface-Level Self Comparison Tips03:46-Self Awareness vs. Self Coaching: What's the Difference?05:34-Dangers of DIY Approaches to Rewiring Perfectionism07:25-Why “How To Stop COmparing Yourself To Others” tips backfire for perfectionists12:10-Comparing Insides to Outsides Never Adds Up14:13-Moving the goalposts17:49-Punishment vs. Discipline: Changing Behaviors without Pain19:31-Understanding the Why Behind Your Perfectionistic TendenciesResources Mentioned In Episode 245:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionBe Proud of Yourself Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 237Chasing Validation Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 236Proving Yourself At Work Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 232Citations/Sources:McCarthy, P. A., Meyer, T., Back, M. D., & Morina, N. (2023). How we compare: A new approach to assess aspects of the comparison process for appearance-based standards and their associations with individual differences in wellbeing and personality measures. PLOS ONE, 18(1), e0280072–e0280072. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280072White, J. B., Langer, E. J., Yariv, L., & Welch, J. C. (2006). Frequent Social Comparisons and Destructive Emotions and Behaviors: The Dark Side of Social Comparisons. Journal of Adult Development, 13(1), 36–44. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-006-9005-0Zhou, Y., Yang, Y., Jiang, H., & Guo, C. (2025). Self-comparison versus social-comparison: The impact of imperfection on executive function in perfectionists. Personality and Individual Differences, 234, 112965. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2024.112965‌‌

Tired of getting tangled in your own words? Overcomplicating it? Asking "Does that make sense?" at the end of every sentence? Discover why you can't stop talking (even though you REALLY want to), the science behind overexplaining for perfectionists, how overexplaining is harmful to your health mentally, emotionally and physically, and why its a coping skill you want to retire ASAP.On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized TIMESTAMPS:00:00-Understanding the Science Behind Overexplaining02:24-Why Perfectionists Are More Likely To Overexplain05:18-Control Tactics and Overexplaining08:46-Self Worth vs. Self Esteem12:32-The Emotional Charge Behind Overexplaining14:02-Toll of Overexplaining on Mental + Physical Health16:18-How Interoception Kills The Need To Overexplain20:39-TRUTH BOOTH What Overexplaining Really Is22:33-Steps to Resilience and Reducing Overexplaining Resources Mentioned In Episode 244:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingImpeccable Boundaries Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 239Care-ing vs Carrying Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 202Interoception + Self-Regulation Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 194Inner Critic Be-Gone Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 212Emotional Overexplaining Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 173Proving Yourself At Work Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 232 Citations/Sources:Barrett, L. F., & Simmons, W. K. (2015). Interoceptive predictions in the brain. Nature Reviews. Neuroscience, 16(7), 419–429. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3950‌Price, C. J., & Hooven, C. (2018). Interoceptive Awareness Skills for Emotion Regulation: Theory and Approach of Mindful Awareness in Body-Oriented Therapy (MABT). Frontiers in Psychology, 9. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00798Ventura-Bort, C., Wendt, J., & Mathias Weymar. (2021). The Role of Interoceptive Sensibility and Emotional Conceptualization for the Experience of Emotions. Frontiers in Psychology, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.712418‌

Craving Certainty? That need to be absolutely, undeniably, 100% sure before making a move? You’re not alone. In this episode, I unravel why the struggle of dealing with uncertainty holds high performance perfectionists back, how to recognize it in your own life and take control of the fear uncertainty and doubt (so it stops controlling you!). You’ll discover practical strategies to break free from the cage of high uncertainty avoidance and gain the confidence to move forward, even before every detail is known. Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for the right time won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized TIMESTAMPS:00:00-High Uncertainty Avoidance
00:40-What Perfectionists ARE Secretly in Control Of
01:36-Why Perfectionists Crave Certainty
02:21-Examples of Uncertainty
03:39-The Myth of Ironclad Certainty
04:47-Uncertainty Tolerance is a Learnable Skill
05:34-Making Good Decisions
06:50-Moving Forward Even When You Don't Know The Outcome
07:27-Rewiring Perfectionism from the Inside Out Resources Mentioned In Episode 243:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingImpeccable Boundaries Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 239Fixed Mindset Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 234Unlearning Learned Helplessness Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 202 Citations/Sources:Anderson, E. C., R. Nicholas Carleton, Diefenbach, M., & Paul. (2019). The Relationship Between Uncertainty and Affect. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02504Reis-Dennis, S., Gerrity, M. S., & Geller, G. (2021). Tolerance for Uncertainty and Professional Development: a Normative Analysis. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 36(8), 2408–2413. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11606-020-06538-ySeif, M. N., & Winston, S. M. (2019). Needing to Know For Sure: A CBT-Based Guide to Overcoming Compulsive Checking and Reassurance Seeking . New Harbinger Publications.‌

Are You Waiting for the Right Time? It’s time to stop waiting for the perfect time. Feeling 100% ready (or whatever ideal set of conditions you’ve been waiting for) is an illusion that keeps you from taking charge of your life right now. Learn how to recognize if you’re giving your power over to ideal circumstances and how to take control.  Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for the right time won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Resources Mentioned In Episode 241:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingImpeccable Boundaries Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 239Fixed Mindset Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 234Unlearning Learned Helplessness Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 202 Citations/Sources:Leclerc, F., Schmitt, B. H., & Dube, L. (1995). Waiting Time and Decision Making: Is Time like Money? Journal of Consumer Research, 22(1), 110–110. https://doi.org/10.1086/209439‌Osuna, E. E. (1985). The psychological cost of waiting. Journal of Mathematical Psychology, 29(1), 82–105. https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-2496(85)90020-3 

Ever wish you had more confidence?  Too many driven perfectionists wait for more confidence before making bold moves, mistaking insecurity for preparation. But waiting is killing your confidence slowly. 'm clearing up all the  confusion around getting more confidence so you can stop waiting for it to show up and giving you the exact formula  to get more confidence today! Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for more confidence on the sidelines won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Resources Mentioned In Episode 241:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingImpeccable Boundaries Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 239Fixed Mindset Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 234Unlearning Learned Helplessness Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 202 Citations/Sources:Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191Katie Stringer Lucero, & Chen, P. (2020). What Do Reinforcement and Confidence Have to Do with It? A Systematic Pathway Analysis of Knowledge, Competence, Confidence, and Intention to Change. Journal of European CME, 9(1), 1834759–1834759. https://doi.org/10.1080/21614083.2020.1834759‌ 

 Lifelong learner but not taking bold action? I used to wait for more time, more confidence, more certainty, more information, more money and more support. Then I’d get MORE of what I was waiting for….and still find excuses to keep waiting. Until one day I quit waiting for more. Find out why perfectionists love to wait for more, precisely how this keeps you stuck and what happens IRL when perfectionists stop waiting for more information. Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for more on the sidelines won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Resources Mentioned In Episode 240:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingFixed Mindset Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 234Unlearning Learned Helplessness Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 2026 Self-Sabotaging Patterns Perfectionists Unknowingly Nurture Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 215The Sneaky High Performance Habit Holding You Back Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 140

Imagine feeling empowered, calm and grounded. You trust yourself. The incessant judgey voice in your head has been replaced with a witty, encouraging narrator. Your relationships built on truth. You say no to stuff you don’t want to do, without explanation. You take care of yourself FIRST. You've upgraded from exhausted to excited. Want that to be your reality? It starts with Impeccable Boundaries. Listen to learn how to create your own Impeccable Boundaries On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Listen to the full episode to hear:- Can impeccable boundaries actually exist in relationships with unconditional love?- Impeccable Boundary vs Ineffective Boundary- how do you actually go about creating impeccable boundaries- Why it's more challenging for a perfectionistic person to have impeccable boundaries.- Perks  of impeccable boundaries- How who/what hurts you, can't heal you Resources Mentioned In Episode 239:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingMore You Control, Less Powerful You Feel Perfectionism Optimized Ep. 196Care-ing vs Carrying Perfectionism Optimized Ep. 202Everything You Need To Know About Self-Regulation As A Perfectionist Perfectionism Optimized Ep. 194