White Knuckling & the High Price of Powering Through
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Jun 22, 2025
The discussion kicks off with the pitfalls of white knuckling through tough times, revealing the hidden costs to personal well-being. They dive into the struggles of perfectionism, emphasizing the impact of second-guessing oneself and obsessive self-evaluation. Listeners learn about the dangers of overfunctioning and how it can lead to control issues and burnout. Practical strategies for self-compassion and breaking free from unproductive cycles provide empowering insights for anyone feeling the weight of unrealistic expectations.
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insights INSIGHT
Perfectionism's Unique Cognitive Drive
Perfectionists uniquely see the gap between current reality and an ideal faster and feel compelled to bridge it.
This compulsion drives the perfectionist to quickly fix inefficiencies they notice.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Personal Struggle With Powering Through
Courtney Love Gavin shares a personal struggle with not finishing a perfectionism series due to life’s intensified challenges.
She reveals how this is her first time experiencing limits to "white knuckling" and powering through.
insights INSIGHT
Measuring vs Counting Mistake
Most perfectionists mistake counting output for measuring internal resources, leading to pushing harder when depleted.
This confusion causes exhaustion, not failure of strength or effort.
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White knuckling your way through dumpster fires + stacked deadlines might *seem impressive* but underneath constantly second-guessing yourself, obsessively counting of how much you accomplished while beating yourself up — are hidden costs eating away at your efficiency (and overall ability to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to create). This episode names what you couldn’t explain...until now.
00:00–Striving for excellence in a dumpster fire while white knuckling
01:59-Definition of perfectionism
03:13–Uncomfy confession my overfunctioning
04:48–When powering through stops working
05:35–Fear uncertainty and doubt in disguise
06:40–Second guessing yourself despite the evidence
07:17– Are You Making This Huge Perfectionistic Mistake
08:31–Why overachievers get to disappointed in myself spirals
09:06–Over functioning feeds control issues BEST analogy
09:55–Beating yourself up When is enough enough
11:03–How I’m able to stop pushing through before burnout
12:05–Why perfectionist tendencies turn poisonous
13:45–The Clueless Mismatch Tool
14:20– Choosing what's familiar over what's functional
15:03–Disrupt overachiever autopilot with The Calibration
16:12–Tools to stop second guessing yourself
17:56–Perfectionism Podcast BTS
Quotes on Perfectionism:
"Most perfectionists conflate measuring with counting. You count how much you got done that day, you look at your to do list, all the check marks you count and you think that is measuring." –Courtney Love Gavin, Expert on Perfectionism Neuroscience
"You can't solve a problem when you continue to use methods that perpetuate it. And until you disrupt where those perfectionist tendencies are coming from, your brain will continue choosing what's familiar over what's functional." –Courtney Love Gavin, Expert on Perfectionism Neuroscience
Highly Credible Sources Cited in this Perfectionism Podcast:
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Barrett, L. F., & Bliss‐Moreau, E. (2009). Chapter 4 Affect as a Psychological Primitive. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 167–218. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0065-2601(08)00404-8
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Kummer, K., Mattes, A. & Stahl, J. Do perfectionists show negative, repetitive thoughts facing uncertain situations?. Curr Psychol (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04409-3
Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2023). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality neuroscience, 5, e12. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3
Petersen, J., Ong, C. W., Hancock, A. S., Gillam, R. B., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). An Examination of the Relationship Between Perfectionism and Neurological Functioning. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 35(3), 195–211. https://doi.org/10.1891/jcpsy-d-20-00037
Pollard-Wright Holly (2020) Interoception the foundation for: mind’s sensing of ‘self,’ physiological responses, cognitive discrimination and dysregulation, Communicative & Integrative Biology, 13:1, 198-213, DOI: 10.1080/19420889.2020.1846922
Roy, M., Shohamy, D., Daw, N., Jepma, M., Wimmer, G. E., & Wager, T. D. (2014). Representation of aversive prediction errors in the human periaqueductal gray. Nature Neuroscience, 17(11), 1607–1612. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.3832
Solms, L., Koen, J., A.E.M. van Vianen, Theeboom, T., Beersma, B., Anne, & Matthijs de Hoog. (2022). Simply effective? The differential effects of solution-focused and problem-focused coaching questions in a self-coaching writing exercise. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.895439
Sugiura, Y., & Fisak, B. (2019). Inflated Responsibility in Worry and Obsessive Thinking. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 12(2), 97–108. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41811-019-00041-x
Perfectionism Rewired