
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
Latest episodes

158 snips
Mar 19, 2024 • 50min
Sex, Comedy and Context: A Live Conversation with Trevor Noah
Trevor Noah, comedian, television host, and author, joins Esther Perel for a lively discussion that dives into the connections between comedy and therapy. They explore how humor can serve as a coping mechanism and reveal unspoken truths in society. Trevor shares insights on active listening, while Esther helps him prepare for his live tour. Together, they emphasize the importance of shared experiences and the emotional dynamics of laughter, intimacy, and the challenges of communication in a changing world.

25 snips
Mar 11, 2024 • 33min
If He's A "High Value Man", What Am I?
In this enlightening conversation, Esther Perel speaks with a woman seeking clarity on her repeated return to an abusive relationship. They explore the emotional entanglements of toxic patterns often rooted in childhood experiences. The discussion highlights the struggle between self-worth and the pull of unhealthy dynamics. Esther encourages her guest to reflect on breaking these cycles and creating safer connections. Listeners gain insight into the importance of self-awareness and the journey towards healing and personal growth.

79 snips
Mar 4, 2024 • 53min
I Love You One Day, I Hate You The Next
A young couple grapples with the emotional turmoil of a high-conflict marriage. The husband seeks effective communication while the wife confronts feelings of instability. They discuss how past experiences shape their current struggles and highlight the importance of addressing conflicts directly. Through candid reflections, they explore the balance of tenderness and aggression, revealing how small disagreements can escalate. With a focus on empathy and connection, they aim to rediscover the love that initially brought them together.

39 snips
Feb 26, 2024 • 49min
Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?
Ira Glass, the creator and host of the acclaimed radio show This American Life, joins Esther for a deep dive into life’s big questions. They explore the complexities of aging and caregiving, highlighting the emotional weight of these experiences. Ira reflects on the power of storytelling, sharing how shared narratives evoke empathy. The conversation also navigates the desire for change amidst monotony, personal growth, and family dynamics, weaving in anecdotes from their own lives that examine the nature of connection and intimacy in relationships.

28 snips
Feb 19, 2024 • 57min
I Trust You to Always Tell Me When I'm Wrong
In this engaging discussion, Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway, renowned voices in tech and media, join forces with Esther Perel to explore the magic of healthy relationships. They delve into the dynamics of collaboration, emphasizing gratitude and the absence of sexual tension as keys to productive partnerships. The trio navigates the art of constructive disagreement and the significance of mutual respect, revealing how vulnerability fuels growth. Tune in for insights on how openness and receiving influence can transform connections!

7 snips
Feb 12, 2024 • 46min
Esther Calling - I Lost Him, But I Lost Myself Too
A woman grapples with grief after losing her husband to suicide five years ago, contemplating the intricacies of love and identity. Topics include the delicate balance between mourning and moving forward in relationships, as well as the challenges of unfolding emotional depths in partnership dynamics. There's a powerful emphasis on self-discovery within long-term commitments and the importance of sexual empowerment. The conversation invites listeners to reflect on their personal journeys through loss, resilience, and the complexities of human connection.

100 snips
Feb 5, 2024 • 55min
He Wants it Everyday, She Wants it Never
This episode features a couple married for 20 years, navigating the complexities of mismatched sexual desires. They candidly discuss their emotional stalemate—he yearns for intimacy, while she feels overwhelmed. Esther Perel guides them in redefining intimacy, encouraging them to shift from demands to playful invitations. The couple reflects on their journey through parenting, the impact of societal expectations, and their need for open communication. They explore how to foster deeper connections through touch and understanding, despite personal discomfort.

9 snips
Jan 29, 2024 • 59min
As They Like Me More, I Like Myself Less
Two new mothers share their struggles balancing identities at work and home after long waits for motherhood. One feels overshadowed by her father's legacy while navigating male-dominated dynamics. The other returns to a professional setting after maternity leave, grappling with conflicting feelings about her roles. They discuss the emotional complexities of vulnerability, the impact of leadership styles on self-worth, and the challenges posed by intersectional biases. Their journey highlights the importance of mutual understanding and the need for genuine connections in both personal and professional relationships.

40 snips
Jan 25, 2024 • 34min
Esther Calling - Part of Me Wants to Cheat Part Two
This conversation delves into the complexities of desire and pain within relationships. It navigates the emotional turmoil behind the temptation to cheat, revealing how unresolved traumas influence current choices. The discussion highlights the need for open communication to confront shame and anger stemming from betrayal, emphasizing healing through acknowledgment. Listeners are invited to explore their insecurities in love, illustrating how these feelings shape relational dynamics and the journey toward forgiveness.

45 snips
Jan 22, 2024 • 45min
Esther Calling - Part of Me Wants to Cheat Part One
A woman grapples with intrusive thoughts of infidelity while in a loving relationship, raising questions about desire versus loyalty. The conversation delves into her unresolved trauma and the inner conflict sparked by these fantasies. They explore the complexities of attachment and how past experiences shape current emotions. Vulnerability and open dialogue emerge as crucial elements for healing and deepening intimacy. Throughout, the discussion balances the temptations of infidelity with the genuine quest for emotional connection.