Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Content: I am on the journey with you, I am with you! Highs and lows, you are my peeps! The teen saga continues…. Having a teen is like birth, you think you’re so prepared and then…. Reality hits! Teen brain experiences everything so intensely Eps 115 was all about trust and surrender Celebrate the relationship Using and developing breath as a tool 4:45 Our children are our teachers – they picked us! We don’t know what we don’t know and our children highlight that for us Their way of being invites our “stuff” to the surface We then choose how to respond End of the day – they are operating from their developmental place, limited skills, brain development 7:50 Parenting is a never-ending growth and development workshop – we can choose to resist or to grow/evolve 9:15 There is a purpose to this journey Let’s live a life where we are paying attention Our children show us stepping stones to our own growth When we choose into growth and learning we can influence the experience we are having You can only change yourself, you can’t change others Positive Discipline for Teenagers Mistakes our kids make can rock our foundation and philosophy around parenting Being kind and firm at the same time is one of the pillars Peeling back layers of what that ^^ means Kindness only = permissive Firmness only = authoritarian Kind isn’t NICE, it’s connected, firm is respecting ourselves and the situation It’s about progress not perfection, and becoming ever more AWARE of what is happening for us Making agreements is a kind and firm PD parenting tool Get into our child’s world, here what their needs are, share what we need, make a plan together, declare a deadline, follow through (parents) “What was our agreement?” It’s not about being nice while we deliver a consequence… The invitation is to make agreements with YOUR children Not necessarily about the problem we solve, instead it is more about the life skills the kids are practicing inside of the agreement-making Not about finding a solution that lasts forever – every solution has a shelf life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guests today are Shannon Kinney-Duh, creator of A Free Spirit Life, and Ashley Walburn, owner of Home Holistic, and the founders of The Mindful Mama Movement – a podcast, community that empowers mamas, encourages authentic living and celebrates what it means to live an inspired life. Shannon and Ashley bring women from around the world, in all stages of motherhood, on a journey of learning how to trust ourselves, how to listen to their intuition, how to let go and forgive, and how to embrace imperfection in the mess of life. They inspire others to practice mothering from a place of presence, creativity, humor and wisdom.-----Content: How Ashley and Shannon met The birth of the Mindful Mama Movement Podcast The power of trusting our gut is the work of parenting Popular opinion vs turning inward towards our intuition Inspiring women to trust themselves and reconnect to their own intuition Moving from survival to space in our life to enjoy it We are good at the head stuff by dropping into our heart is a powerful way to shift into being with our family HAHA!! Interrupted by the birth of a baby J ((real life people)) Woohooo – Ashley shares the birth story that interrupted our show Creating communities for mamas Going to yoga class and staying for connection with other mamas Who are you? How are you? Inviting community to be together and real Being part of community allows us to discover our own value and wisdom Online communities can be places of powerful discovery, allowing for thought time and the possibility of going deeper Themes that show up in groups – “Am I doing it right?” “Am I okay?” “Is this normal?” “What am I outside of mom?” “How do I find balance and flow while being a good mom?” Exploring our roles People are seeking to be real We are better mamas when we nurture all parts of us Theme that shows up with mamas is desire for simplicity – declutter, let go, surrender Jaws theme music is not helpful!! Where to find Ashley and Shannon:Mindful Mama Movement podcastFB Page l FB Group l IGAshley:Home Holistic  FB PageShannon:A Free Spirit Life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Content: The tension of being a parent educator WHILE IN THE EXPERIENCE of parenting Parenting for the long term… Keeping in mind brain development Mistakes are opportunities for learning Everyone should have a voice Relationship matters Kindness, firmness and trust Bumps up against the mainstream idea of reward/punishment model My own experience of punishment/consequences as a teen Noticing the societal pressure of “she should pay for her mistakes” while also noticing that we have a really good relationship and are exploring her choices together All we can do is increase the likelihood that our children will grow to be responsible, respectful members of society In the process of learning to make choices, our children will make bad choices I know I am not alone in this rub We want our children to feel as though we are our safe harbor Surrender is so complex… or maybe just the depth is profound GRACE: workshop for women through boldlyembodylife.com If trust is our intention, then we have to start with trusting ourselves We then can evoke trust in our relationships Then our teens can lean into trusting themselves (and getting it wrong sometimes) The design of the universe is bigger than me, bigger than my child, and we are all going to be okay – might as well trust that God has our back Trusting what I don’t know, what I can’t know, what I am still on the path to understanding Fear grips the inside of my body, my energy tightens up – shorter breath, tight belly “When fear is present, the teacher is in the room.” – Krista Petty Raimer Events/ experiences are an invitation for me to evoke what I want more of in my relationship with my daughter Neutral/ Think Tree – feeling our feet, grounding into our body, top of our body is open, flexible, available Finding neutral is not about the absence of anything, but about the availability of everything (thank you Mary Jo!) Neutral allows space for relationship with our children The most powerful tool we have for influencing the behavior is the relationship we cultivate and nurture with them. Lisa Damour – swimming pool analogy There is flow and impermanence to the cycles of connection/disconnection that show up Find your people that are going through similar experience and hold a similar parenting style to share raw and vulnerably We are practicing all the time – either our auto pilot OR something new and different Being intentional allows us to GENERATE more of what we want into our life! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sarah Rosensweet is my guest today!! Sarah is a peaceful parenting coach– and a mama to 3 big kids (16, 13 and 10). She teaches parents a non-punitive, connection based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah helps parents of toddlers-to-tweens turn philosophy into practice with solutions for real-life struggles such as bedtime battles, picky eaters, sibling rivalry, tantrums and meltdowns, and power struggles.Sarah has had over 20 years experience working with families and children in early childhood education and schools. She’s an API certified parenting educator and a certified Aha! Peaceful Parenting Coach with Dr. Laura Markham.What you will hear: Toddlerhood experience allowed for Sarah to begin her journey towards parenting peacefully Turning away from the advice of “don’t let them manipulate you” Navigating fear The transition of the new sibling can catch us off guard Perspective of the older child is, not such a great thing Our olders have mixed feelings The mama bear instincts kick in and we often find ourselves pushing our older children away. Recognizing the feelings - awareness of what is happening internally for us What shows up with our older children? Regression and aggression What to do? Nurture them, love on them, connect with them, baby them as much as possible Aggression comes from fear – they are acting out their bad feelings Cure – more connection, more empathy “My child is not giving me a problem, my child is having a problem” Emotional backpacks are all of the emotions that show up throughout our experience that we put away for “later” Meltdowns and tantrums are how our children release their emotional backpacks Processing through laughter – get them laughing every day! Rough housing as a proactive energy/emotional release Pete’s a Pizza – William Steig Welcome mixed feelings, schedule one on one time “I wonder…….. “ opens the door for them to express mixed feelings Lack of understanding and empathy can lead a child to feel as though there is something wrong with them Sometimes challenges show up when baby is a newborn, and sometimes it is when the babe gets a bit older Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings by Dr. Laura Markham ^^ supports children in helping them find solutions that work for both sibs, rather than leaving it to them to figure out how to work things out Special time – joining them in their world of imagination and play – 15 minutes/day with the older child Misbehavior as a signal and look for positive intent Look at your language – shift the language you use that doesn’t include the babe. Ex, “I am busy with the baby” to “I will help you when my hands aren’t full!” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...:::::Welcome to this week’s solo show! Sorry about the clogged nose! Totally dedicated to keeping up with the podcast and showing up to all of you – thank you for listening in!What you will hear this episode:The topic this week, as we have moved into the school year here in North America. Many of us are finding ourselves in the rub of having tough conversations with our children’s teacher. One of my listeners, who is both a parent and a teacher, reached out and requested that I touch on how parents can be approaching their children’s teachers when things are tough. Classroom management is slippery Teachers are doing the best they can with the tools they have Navigating student’s needs with the academic requirements passed on to teachers Pendulum swings from social/emo learning to academics Pressure to teach kids what they “need to know” Teachers ALWAYS name the social/emotional skills as their desire for students There is an assumption that children are learning life skills in the home Teachers fall back on behavior systems “Charting” children’s behavior Assumption that students have what they need to be cooperative, contributing members of the classroom Temperament matters So how do we talk to teachers about our children’s need? You, the teacher, counselor, after school people, you are all the child’s support team When communication fails amongst adults, child suffers Coming from fear, we show up offensive, invites defense from others Teachers have a tricky job Connect before correct is a powerful tool to take advantage of in all the relationships of our life – teachers/school staff included Use curiosity How can you educate the teacher about your child in a way that enlightens them about your child and all children It is useful when a parent comes to the teacher and says “I see you and the tough job you have, and I want to educate you about my child” Pay attention to your physical response/mama bear mode, and PAUSE before emailing/calling the teacher Get in touch with your child’s teacher BEFORE there is an issue – build relationship Make amends when you need to – repair matters AND you are modeling really important behavior for others The person that benefits the most is your child! :::::Mother’s Journey to Joyful CouragePNW FALL TOUR!!Registration remains open for my Portland and Boise events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney:::::Coaching with CaseyAre you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call. Click here and we will schedule our call!:::::Be a SubscriberMake sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...:::::Maren and Angela are college friends, turned public school teachers, turned homeschooling mamas, turned podcast hosts. They are on today talking about how to follow our children’s lead when it comes to learning and growing. Their show, Homeschool Unrefined, is a place where they keep homeschool simple, real and fun.What you will hear in during the show: College friends turned podcast co-hosts Public school teachers that became homeschooling mamas Sensed the need for encouragement and empowerment amongst homeschool parents SM gives a false impression for what homeschool looks like Inspired to show the “real” homeschool experience Deciding to homeschool, desire for more connection and less schedule Freedom to travel Maren and Angela want parents to feel good about what they are already doing Easy to look at what others are doing then seeing deficit in what you are doing Your kids need you as a parent, and all of your particular skills Vastness of homeschooling Biggest challenges in the community: parents lacking confidence, letting go of perfectionism Being conscious about what your main goal is Letting your children take the lead – focus on connection, follow their interest Paradigm shift - kids are going to learn when they are ready Early entry into extra-curricular activities Simplicity Parenting John Paine Supporting kids through their changes of heart It is a skill to know when to walk away – Angela’s roller blading story The process of navigating waning interest is rich Casey and Rowan’s guitar lesson story, letting go of the dream Stay connected, no matter your schooling decisions – make it authentically yours What does Joyful Courage mean to you?From Angela - “Having the courage to trust yourself and yoru child. You know your child and they are going to learn the most e when they feel connected to you. It takes a cot of courage to let go of all the noise around you and be able to trust you.”From Maren - “Being confident in who you are – that takes work, takes work to understand and realize who I am is good. That’s the courageous parent – the joyful part is finding joy in the processes of everything. This is a process, it isn’t perfect – if you can find joy in that you will find joy in so many things.”***Where to find Angela and Maren:Website l Facebook l Instagram:::::Mother’s Journey to Joyful CouragePNW FALL TOUR!!Registration remains open for my Seattle, Portland AND BOISE events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney:::::Coaching with CaseyAre you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call. Click here and we will schedule our call!:::::Be a SubscriberMake sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show – thank you for tuning in this week! Sit back and take in the thoughts and ideas that are currently showing up for me and in our community. A Free Spirit Life A new show hosted by Shannon Kinney-Duh.  Find out more at http://www.afreespiritlife.com/or search for A Free Spirit Life on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast.Todays Content Together Live event with Glennon Doyle and friends Belonging and significance as an underlying principle of PD Humans are great perceivers, not great interpreters Growing relationship while guiding them to learn from mistakes is what Positive Parenting is all about Shopping cart analogy My child is going to learn what they need through mistakes and experiences Our conditioning gets in our way when we choose to parent this way Fear shows up – controlling and rigid, what is the right thing to do? The space between authoritarian and permissive styles Brene Brown – check her out Braving the Wilderness True belonging is something inside of us, requires trust Conscious parenting requires us to trust our children, their foundation and relationship Our declaration of using PD can make others uncomfortable My vision is to have confident, capable kids who can navigate the world with kindness and assertive – interruptions to the ugly in the world You have to be who you are So easy as the parent to get up in their (our children’s) grill Children get to DESIGN themselves Taking a look at our own modeling, self acceptance, recognizing fear My children can only hear their soul’s voice is to release my fear and trust What are your thoughts?? Share in the Live and Love with Joyful Courage FB Group GIVEAWAY!! Win a copy of Love Warrior by writing a review of the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes  Thank You! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meet Alison Smith, mother to two adorable kids, proud wife, former elementary school teacher and now teacher coach, advocate and revolutionary in win/win parenting. Like many of us Alison had visions of being the best, doing the best and really being that one adult that impacted her students lives powerfully. As a self identified recovering perfectionist, Alison entered the teaching world and become a mother. It did not take long to identify that something in the work with children had to change. Fueled by her passion and her journey, Aliso identified a need for teachers to feel supported in their work. In her coaching, teachers are inspired and supported to be the most authentic, joyful and wholehearted teacher they can be. IN THIS EPISODE: Alison shares Bonnie Harris’ iceberg analogy and how it guides parents to identify the underlying root of a child’s behavior. Like a medical issue, we often treat the symptom until the symptoms persist then we are forced to find the root cause. Realizing that the child’s behavior that triggers us is the root cause of our reaction and inability to connect and show up best for the child. Only when we dig into our roots and what is underneath our icebergs can we better guide our children through their own experiences. Triggers can cause us to panic and ‘future trip’ into fear about our child’s behavior, enabling us into unhelpful methods. Using our curiosity to dig to the root - is my child hungry, tired, overstimulated, cold, hot, uncomfortable, lonely?. Once we identify our triggers we can move into the practice of showing up the way our kids need us to. We chose connection and enforcement that they matter. Often we misjudge our kids motivation and intention leading to disconnection and an increase in the child’s mischief. Once a parent gets it and truly understands the process begins within the parent first then the practice strengthens and the child, family and parent begin to thrive. There is no one perfect general response to situations with your child.  Practicing prevention, in-the-moment and then repair strategies alleviate and get to the root of the issue. An open conversation on how parenting is shifting from authoritarian to permissive. Why parents today need something to change and are willing to find the courage to revolutionize how the adult/child relationship evolves.  Where to find Alison:Website l Facebook l Instagram l You Tube Change the World in A Generation (video)*** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parenting from within takes practice practice practice. What are the significant tools we need to really delve within? Inside of us exists what we need to connect to the way we want to parent. Using these tools at our disposal will allow us to open up, connect, reset and navigate the challenges that come with development. Just like we are in constant practice it’s key to continue the conversation! Our children are not the only humans in development. What you will hear The emotional journey of choosing Positive Parenting Is your inner voice helping or hindering your practice Our old stories can create blocks when we practice PD What shows up when our children touch on those old stories (triggers) How we talk to ourselves when it seems everyone around us has it together Where do we chose to sit when we are in anger, resentment and “stuckness” Why are you choosing PD and/or Conscious Parenting? What are the themes that drive us to want to parent this way? What themes to we use to keep us on a pendulum Once we choose into the practice we can create habits that navigate through these themes and stories Awareness is the first step to helping us acknowledge the triggers so we can create a connection into this parenting journey This is a collective journey Mindfulness with ground us into the practice and what we need Using mindfulness will bring you into your biggest tool- your body, senses, feelings and emotions Listening to your body is accepting the messages and signals you are sending to your conscious What do you notice in challenging situations? Where do your signals sit? Belly? Shoulders? Chest? Follow the wisdom your body is sending. Fears cloud our vision and takes us into the “what ifs” Getting curious allows us to approach our children without getting stuck in the fog How to use the neutrality of your body to shift into a better experience Shifting can open us up the possibility that we are the best parent for our kids and we can make repairs :::::Podcast Highlight:In Her Voice, By Kelly Coverswebsite l itunes l FB l IG::::: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meredith Masony is on the podcast today!! She blogs at That’s Inappropriate and loves to share her stories about, life, marriage, motherhood, and her quest to be the best person she can be. Meredith has three kids ages 10, 7, 5. Her motto is “I’ll say it, so you don’t have to.” Life is messy, and it’s OK to talk about it. She invites all parents to join her on her search for sanity and hopefully you can have a few laughs along the way.What you’ll hear in this episode: The parenting struggle is real Meredith opens up about the first few years with little ones Feeling stuck, alone and eventually facing a difficult life event moved her to speak out We are not alone, we all feel lost at some point Sharing the hard parts of the journey is the first step in thriving though it You deserve more than to survive Parents deserve to thrive Creating a like-experiencing community can support us through even the most mundane events, potty training anyone? Humor is key! Sometimes the truth and humor are all you need to feel connected How to handle overnight success and sticking with your purpose The importance of modeling purpose Why having our own goals outside of our kids is important Balance is tough Letting go of ‘mom-guilt’  Where to find Meredith: Website l Facebook I Instagram l Twitter l You Tube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices