Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens Eps 113: Solo show! Teachers, behavior charts, and how to keep mama bear in check...
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Welcome to this week’s solo show! Sorry about the clogged nose! Totally dedicated to keeping up with the podcast and showing up to all of you – thank you for listening in!
What you will hear this episode:
The topic this week, as we have moved into the school year here in North America. Many of us are finding ourselves in the rub of having tough conversations with our children’s teacher. One of my listeners, who is both a parent and a teacher, reached out and requested that I touch on how parents can be approaching their children’s teachers when things are tough.
- Classroom management is slippery
- Teachers are doing the best they can with the tools they have
- Navigating student’s needs with the academic requirements passed on to teachers
- Pendulum swings from social/emo learning to academics
- Pressure to teach kids what they “need to know”
- Teachers ALWAYS name the social/emotional skills as their desire for students
- There is an assumption that children are learning life skills in the home
- Teachers fall back on behavior systems
- “Charting” children’s behavior
- Assumption that students have what they need to be cooperative, contributing members of the classroom
- Temperament matters
- So how do we talk to teachers about our children’s need?
- You, the teacher, counselor, after school people, you are all the child’s support team
- When communication fails amongst adults, child suffers
- Coming from fear, we show up offensive, invites defense from others
- Teachers have a tricky job
- Connect before correct is a powerful tool to take advantage of in all the relationships of our life – teachers/school staff included
- Use curiosity
- How can you educate the teacher about your child in a way that enlightens them about your child and all children
- It is useful when a parent comes to the teacher and says “I see you and the tough job you have, and I want to educate you about my child”
- Pay attention to your physical response/mama bear mode, and PAUSE before emailing/calling the teacher
- Get in touch with your child’s teacher BEFORE there is an issue – build relationship
- Make amends when you need to – repair matters AND you are modeling really important behavior for others
- The person that benefits the most is your child!
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