Eps 114: Support for the New Sibling Transition with Sarah Rosensweet

Sarah Rosensweet is my guest today!! Sarah is a peaceful parenting coach– and a mama to 3 big kids (16, 13 and 10). She teaches parents a non-punitive, connection based approach that uses firm limits with lots of empathy. Sarah helps parents of toddlers-to-tweens turn philosophy into practice with solutions for real-life struggles such as bedtime battles, picky eaters, sibling rivalry, tantrums and meltdowns, and power struggles.

Sarah has had over 20 years experience working with families and children in early childhood education and schools. She’s an API certified parenting educator and a certified Aha! Peaceful Parenting Coach with Dr. Laura Markham.

What you will hear:

• Toddlerhood experience allowed for Sarah to begin her journey towards parenting peacefully
• Turning away from the advice of “don’t let them manipulate you”
• Navigating fear
• The transition of the new sibling can catch us off guard
• Perspective of the older child is, not such a great thing
• Our olders have mixed feelings
• The mama bear instincts kick in and we often find ourselves pushing our older children away. Recognizing the feelings - awareness of what is happening internally for us
• What shows up with our older children? Regression and aggression
• What to do? Nurture them, love on them, connect with them, baby them as much as possible
• Aggression comes from fear – they are acting out their bad feelings
• Cure – more connection, more empathy
• “My child is not giving me a problem, my child is having a problem”
• Emotional backpacks are all of the emotions that show up throughout our experience that we put away for “later”
• Meltdowns and tantrums are how our children release their emotional backpacks
• Processing through laughter – get them laughing every day!
• Rough housing as a proactive energy/emotional release
• Pete’s a Pizza – William Steig
• Welcome mixed feelings, schedule one on one time
• “I wonder…….. “ opens the door for them to express mixed feelings
• Lack of understanding and empathy can lead a child to feel as though there is something wrong with them
• Sometimes challenges show up when baby is a newborn, and sometimes it is when the babe gets a bit older
• Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings by Dr. Laura Markham
• ^^ supports children in helping them find solutions that work for both sibs, rather than leaving it to them to figure out how to work things out
• Special time – joining them in their world of imagination and play – 15 minutes/day with the older child
• Misbehavior as a signal and look for positive intent

Look at your language – shift the language you use that doesn’t include the babe. Ex, “I am busy with the baby” to “I will help you when my hands aren’t full!”

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