Eps 115: Solo show - Exploring trust and surrender as I navigate all there is to learn while raising a teen

Content:

• The tension of being a parent educator WHILE IN THE EXPERIENCE of parenting
• Parenting for the long term…
• Keeping in mind brain development
• Mistakes are opportunities for learning
• Everyone should have a voice
• Relationship matters
• Kindness, firmness and trust
• Bumps up against the mainstream idea of reward/punishment model
• My own experience of punishment/consequences as a teen
• Noticing the societal pressure of “she should pay for her mistakes” while also noticing that we have a really good relationship and are exploring her choices together
• All we can do is increase the likelihood that our children will grow to be responsible, respectful members of society
• In the process of learning to make choices, our children will make bad choices
• I know I am not alone in this rub
• We want our children to feel as though we are our safe harbor
• Surrender is so complex… or maybe just the depth is profound
• GRACE: workshop for women through boldlyembodylife.com
• If trust is our intention, then we have to start with trusting ourselves
• We then can evoke trust in our relationships
• Then our teens can lean into trusting themselves (and getting it wrong sometimes)
• The design of the universe is bigger than me, bigger than my child, and we are all going to be okay – might as well trust that God has our back
• Trusting what I don’t know, what I can’t know, what I am still on the path to understanding
• Fear grips the inside of my body, my energy tightens up – shorter breath, tight belly
• “When fear is present, the teacher is in the room.” – Krista Petty Raimer
• Events/ experiences are an invitation for me to evoke what I want more of in my relationship with my daughter
• Neutral/ Think Tree – feeling our feet, grounding into our body, top of our body is open, flexible, available
• Finding neutral is not about the absence of anything, but about the availability of everything (thank you Mary Jo!)
• Neutral allows space for relationship with our children
• The most powerful tool we have for influencing the behavior is the relationship we cultivate and nurture with them.
• Lisa Damour – swimming pool analogy
• There is flow and impermanence to the cycles of connection/disconnection that show up
• Find your people that are going through similar experience and hold a similar parenting style to share raw and vulnerably
• We are practicing all the time – either our auto pilot OR something new and different
• Being intentional allows us to GENERATE more of what we want into our life!

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