
Pillow Talks
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
Latest episodes

Oct 10, 2024 • 45min
Episode 177: Why You Should Try Mutual Masturbation And How To Do It
Discover the enticing world of mutual masturbation and how it can deepen intimacy between partners. The hosts discuss its surprising infrequency among couples and share effective communication strategies to ease into this practice. They tackle common insecurities, societal perceptions, and offer practical tips for enhancing comfort and confidence. With an emphasis on personalization, the conversation encourages open dialogue to create a fulfilling sexual experience. Explore this empowering practice that fosters connection and mutual satisfaction!

6 snips
Oct 3, 2024 • 1h 1min
Episode 176: Is This Cheating?
The hosts dive into what really counts as cheating in modern relationships. They tackle intriguing scenarios like keeping nudes from exes and having a 'work wife.' Listeners share their thoughts on emotional fidelity and navigating jealousy, prompting debates over boundaries. The conversation also explores the implications of sending intimate content and how to handle prior relationships in a digital age. Tune in for an insightful discussion that's perfect for couples wanting to align their definitions of loyalty.

Sep 26, 2024 • 1h 6min
Episode 175: “Should I Put Up With This In The Bedroom?”
The discussion kicks off with a listener's shocking situation—her partner wearing headphones during intimacy! This leads to a hilarious exploration of other odd behaviors people endure in the bedroom. From farting to body image concerns, the conversation emphasizes open communication and mutual respect. They tackle the complexities of dirty talk and consent while sharing playful, unhinged anecdotes that keep you laughing. It's a wild ride through the awkward and taboo moments of intimacy that every couple can relate to.

Sep 19, 2024 • 1h 2min
Episode 174: Ask Us Anything: Addressing All Of Your Assumptions
The hosts dive into your burning questions, debunking myths about their relationship and financial status. They candidly discuss intimacy during work hours, the challenges of social media portrayals, and the choice to remain child-free. Hear about their love for cozy products, financial growth, and the importance of open communication. Plus, they throw in tips for enhancing intimacy in relationships and share a playful look at their lives alongside their pugs, balancing humor with heartfelt insights.

Sep 12, 2024 • 1h 7min
Episode 173: I’m Attracted To Someone Else, What Do I Do?
Ever found yourself feeling attracted to someone else despite being in a committed monogamous relationship? Maybe someone cute you saw at the gym. Or a college. Or even your partner’s best friend??Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one.Today we’re digging into real stories from our community about times they were attracted to someone else, and giving our best advice on how to handle attraction to other people while in a relationship.Links & Resources:Free Guide: 20 Great Compliments To Give Your PartnerSubscribe hereInstagram: @vanessaandxanderThanks MarleySpoon. Experience the most personalized meal kit today with Marley Spoon. Head to MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for up to 25 FREE meals!Thanks Marimur. Visit MARIEMUR.com and use the promo code ‘PILLOW’ for 15% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sep 5, 2024 • 1h 5min
Episode 172: Bring Sex Toys Into Your Bedroom (Without Making It Weird)
The hosts dive into the often-taboo topic of sex toys, sharing personal anecdotes to spark conversation. They discuss how these tools can enhance pleasure and intimacy, while also addressing societal stigmas and common hesitations. Practical tips for introducing toys into the bedroom are offered in a light-hearted manner, promoting open communication between partners. The comparison of sex toys to dining experiences highlights their role in complementing, rather than replacing, genuine connections. Plus, there's a fun discussion on skincare and confidence!

Aug 29, 2024 • 1h 4min
Episode 171: Your Funniest Stories About Getting “The Talk”
Dive into the hilariously awkward world of childhood sex education. Discover funny personal stories about the first conversations many had about 'The Talk.' Explore the challenges parents face while navigating these sensitive discussions in public spaces. Laugh along as the hosts share misconceptions and giggle at the absurdity of unconventional teaching methods. With engaging anecdotes, they emphasize the need for open communication to empower future generations in understanding sex and relationships.

Aug 22, 2024 • 60min
Episode 170: What Do Women Really Think About ___? Part 2
In this fun dive into women's thoughts on intimacy, the hosts tackle everything from the complexities of porn preferences to wild card topics. They explore the dynamics of oral sex, emphasizing the importance of communication for enhancing pleasure. Relationships are unpacked with a humorous twist, highlighting women's changing perspectives and emotional fluctuations. Questions on self-love, body image, and societal expectations reveal a blend of confidence and humor. It's a candid and insightful look at what really happens behind closed doors!

Aug 15, 2024 • 1h 12min
Episode 169: Is This Your Shit Or Mine? Part 2
Couples often grapple with the question of who is responsible for resolving conflicts. The discussion humorously tackles topics like intimacy and cleanliness, revealing how pet hair can stir up unexpected tension. Dietary restrictions also pose comical challenges to romance. The importance of clear communication around sexual preferences is emphasized, especially when kinks differ. Insights into parenting, co-parenting, and familial boundaries provide valuable strategies for fostering healthier relationships.

Aug 8, 2024 • 55min
Episode 168: Long Distance? How To Keep The Spark Alive
Long-distance relationships can be tough, but there's hope! Discover practical tips to keep the spark alive, like communication rituals and creative date nights. Explore the art of dirty talk and engaging activities to deepen intimacy. Get inspired with ideas like sending playful items and using technology to stay connected. Learn how emotional bonds can flourish despite the miles, offering laughter and insightful strategies for love across distances!