Pillow Talks
Vanessa & Xander Marin
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jan 23, 2025 • 51min
E192: “Is This Normal?” Part 4 — Low Desire Husband, Never Had A Fight, & Baby Talk
Delve into relationship norms as the hosts tackle sensitive questions, like a husband's zero sex drive and the absence of conflict in a couple's dynamic. Discover how stress affects intimacy and the significance of honest communication, especially surrounding baby talk. They also discuss the essential role of aftercare in intimacy and how expressing needs fosters deeper connections. Packed with practical tips and real talk, this conversation navigates the sometimes awkward terrain of love and desire.
Jan 16, 2025 • 1h 8min
E191: Breaking Free From Purity Culture And Religious Shame
The discussion dives into the challenges of escaping the grip of purity culture. Personal stories illuminate the harmful effects of religious shame on sexuality. The hosts offer practical tips for fostering self-acceptance and healthier attitudes. They critique societal expectations, especially on women, shedding light on unfair purity standards. Emphasizing the importance of open dialogue and personal agency, they invite listeners to redefine their beliefs about sexuality and reclaim their narratives.
Jan 9, 2025 • 57min
E190: Am I Being Reasonable Or Ridiculous?
This discussion dives into the intricate balance of reasonable versus ridiculous relationship requests. The hosts explore boundaries with a listener's role-play idea and stress the importance of clear communication in intimacy. They tackle desires around masturbation and personal space while emphasizing the need for self-care. With insights on rekindling wedding night fantasies and navigating societal pressures on sexual needs, the conversation is both playful and insightful, offering practical advice for couples seeking deeper connections.
Jan 2, 2025 • 54min
E189: Can We Have A Fresh Start? Or Is It Too Late?
As 2025 begins, the hosts explore the idea of fresh starts in relationships, sharing audience stories and offering practical advice. They discuss navigating intimacy, proposal hesitations, and the emotional complexities that can arise, especially when influenced by addiction and financial stress. Tips on rekindling connections and the importance of communication are highlighted. The conversation wraps up with reflections on love and healing, encouraging listener engagement and support in relationship journeys.
Dec 26, 2024 • 47min
E188: Is Your Ultimatum Going To Work?
The conversation kicks off with a lively discussion on the perils of ultimatums in relationships, sparked by Netflix's 'The Ultimatum.' The hosts dig into real-life listener experiences, illustrating how pressure can cloud authenticity. They delve into the emotional fallout of sexual demands, advocating for intimacy over transactional encounters. Personal stories highlight how ultimatums can lead to unexpected growth, while the importance of open communication serves as a central theme. Listener feedback rounds out the insightful exploration.
8 snips
Dec 19, 2024 • 1h 8min
Episode 187: Am I The Asshole? The Holiday Edition Part 2
Get ready for some holiday hilarity! The hosts dive into family drama with stories about secret Santa blunders and culinary chaos involving salmon. They tackle the complexities of setting boundaries with in-laws, the nuances of food traditions, and the emotional challenges of familial relationships during the festive season. Plus, there's a funny debate about declining dinner invites over personal food preferences. It's a spirited mix of laughter and heartfelt reflections perfect for cozy listening!
5 snips
Dec 12, 2024 • 59min
Episode 186: Period Sex, Internal Vs External Processors, & Queer In A Straight Relationship
Dive into a lively discussion on the refreshing topic of period sex and the benefits of using a menstrual disc for intimacy. Explore the unique challenges faced by queer individuals in heterosexual relationships and the vital role of communication in understanding desires and identities. The conversation also tackles the nuances of sexual exploration in relationships and highlights the need for open dialogue about comfort and emotional processing, making it a celebration of authenticity and connection.
Dec 5, 2024 • 57min
Episode 185: How To Navigate Porn In Your Relationship
A certified sex therapist tackles the intricate dynamics of pornography in relationships. Discover how porn consumption affects personal and couple's self-esteem, and the potential risks of unrealistic expectations. The conversation emphasizes the importance of communication and ethical consumption to navigate the challenges and benefits of porn. Insights on the normalization of certain content and fostering intimacy are also explored, encouraging listeners to embrace open discussions with their partners.
47 snips
Nov 27, 2024 • 58min
Episode 184: How To Get More Physical Intimacy From Your Partner
Delve into the different dimensions of physical intimacy that go beyond just sex, integrating cuddles and playful interactions. The hosts share relatable stories on maintaining romance amidst daily chaos. Explore the connection between emotional and physical closeness, as well as common societal misconceptions. They offer practical tips for enhancing intimacy and overcoming relationship stressors. Plus, discover a unique dual challenge with activities designed to reignite connection, proving that intimacy is both an art and a team effort.
36 snips
Nov 21, 2024 • 55min
Episode 183: How To Get More Emotional Intimacy From Your Partner
Discover the essence of emotional intimacy and how it differs from physical connections. The hosts discuss barriers to deeper relationships, including fears and vulnerabilities. They emphasize the importance of open communication and playful dialogue. Learn practical tips for fostering emotional closeness, recognizing signs of disconnection, and sharing meaningful experiences with your partner. Intriguing anecdotes and a light-hearted look at romantic apps add fun to the serious topic of intimacy.
