Oren Jay Sofer leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication and meditation at retreat centers and educational facilities around the United States.  He is the founder of Next Step Dharma and Mindful Healthcare and he holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his new book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. In it, you’ll learn an updated model on how to skillfully communicate – especially in difficult situations. Practical strategies and helpful perspectives are what you’ll get in this episode. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.In This Interview, Oren Jay Sofer and I Discuss…His book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent CommunicationThat we’re not stuck, our minds can learn and it depends on the choices we make moment to momentThe three steps to create effective conversationLead with PresenceCome from Curiosity and CareFocus on What MattersHow most people live with fragmented attention and it takes training to be fully present with another personThat you can feel whether a person is fully present with you or notBringing awareness and attention to the body to come into the present moment (the body is always in the present moment)Bodily sensations happen in the present momentThe power of pausingHow our rate of speech is connected to our nervous systemThat when we are present, we have a lot more choicesThat our intention shapes our verbal and non-verbal communicationsThe intention to understandThe intention of kindness and careHow you can practice kindness to someone you don’t likeKindness can be about protecting your own heartThe phrase “Let me see if I’ve got it…”Listening for what matters to the other person – what do they need?The difference between needs and strategiesThe Nonviolent Communication ModelObservations, Feelings, Needs, RequestsCommunicating in the workplaceOren Jay Sofer LinksOrenJaySofer.comFacebookTwitterInstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Tererai Trent is an inspiring and dynamic scholar, educator, humanitarian, motivational speaker, author and the founder of Tererai International. Dr. Trent is one of the most internationally acclaimed voices for women's empowerment and quality education. Named by Oprah Winfrey as her all-time favorite guest, Dr. Trent's latest book is called The Awakened Woman: Remembering and Reigniting Our Sacred Dreams. She tells her incredible story in this episode and you will be so deeply moved, so deeply touched, and so deeply inspired by it. We'ver never heard anything like it and are honored that she would tell us about her astounding life.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait - there's more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It's that simple and we'll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Dr. Tererai Trent and I Discuss...Her book, The Awakened Woman: Remembering and Reigniting Our Sacred DreamsThe two hungers in our life - the little hunger and the great hungerThe hunger for a meaningful lifeAsking yourself, "what breaks my heart?"The rural community she grew up inThe wisdom of her grandmotherThat her grandmother was defined by her wisdomHer answer to the question she was asked - what are your dreams?The moment she was told that her dreams were achievableWhen her mother said to write down her dreams and bury (i.e. plant) them in the ground.How she broke the cycle of povertyThe baton of poverty, illiteracy, early marriage, and abuse that she redefinedThe baton of wisdom, that she receivedThe four dreams she wrote downWhen her mother said, "your goals in life will be more achievable when connected to the greater good of your community"The difference between culture and customsThe 8 years it took for her to graduate high schoolGetting into Oklahoma State University but not having enough money to fly to AmericaFeeding the deep hunger that says - you can achieve your dreamsWhen she reconnected with the woman who first believed in herWhen she finally earned her PhDShe worked 3 jobs and took 18 hours of coursework and took care of 5 kids getting her food from trashcansHow she is not a victim, she is part of the solutionWhere her kids are now"It is acheivable"How many girls her work has now impactedSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Teaching, a Song, and a PoemSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Oliver Burkeman is an award-winning writer for The Guardian and his book, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking explores the upsides of failure, difficulty, and imperfection – which we discussed in our first interview with Oliver several hundred episodes ago. Each week in his column in The Guardian, “This Column Will Change Your Life”, he writes about social psychology, self-help culture, productivity, and the science of happiness. In this interview, he discusses his take on time management in today’s world.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Oliver Burkeman and I Discuss…His take on the modern time management worldThat technologies of efficiency don’t seem to bring peace of mindHow your to-do list is never going to go awayThat having emails in your inbox is not necessarily a problemTime management whispers of the possibility of true peace of mindThinking of “a simpler time”How processing through your inbox is like climbing up an infinitely long ladderThat tough choices have to be made when deciding what to do with your time – no matter how many productivity assists you haveHow it’s often easier to spend time on trivial stuff than the big projectsDavid Allen’s book, Getting Things DoneHow no one beats them self up for not being able to jump a mile in the air because they never thought they could in the first placeSimilarly, accepting the real limitations in how much time you have and how much you can get done is incredibly liberating Productivity advice from Warren BuffetThe role social media plays in our expectations about how productive we could or should beHow digital distractions help us numb outOliver Burkeman LinksHomepageFacebookTwitterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eli Jaxon-Bear founded and currently teaches through The Leela Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to world peace and freedom through universal self-realization. Eli is also the author of many books, including the one we discuss in this episode, An Outlaw Makes it Home: The Awakening of a Spiritual Revolutionary. In this episode, he talks to Eric about accessing and experiencing your true self and things that get in the way of that. Also, he hits on a perspective of the Enneagram that we bet you’ve never considered before. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Eli Jaxon-Bear and I Discuss…His book, An Outlaw Makes it Home: The Awakening of a Spiritual RevolutionaryDiscovering who is feeding the wolves withinThat to know your true self you have to turn away from your false self – the self you construct in your mindNLP, the Enneagram and hypnosis integrated into his therapyHis lasting enlightenment Knowing what you really want and staying true to it in each momentThe journey from “me” to “I” Symptom cure and habit controlHis book, Sudden AwakeningHow your heart is already intelligent and aliveThat the Enneagram Personality Types is actually the Enneagram of Character FixationAsking, does this bring me freedom, true love, happiness? Go deeper than the character fixation and find your characterWaking up from the act, from the show, and stop taking it personally having to prove thingsThe character fixation of an Enneagram type 9The “Chief Feature”All of our experience has a Mental, Emotional and Physical component and the ego encapsulates all three of thoseThe history of the origins of the EnneagramHis book on the EnneagramEli Jaxon-Bear LinksHomepageFacebookTwitterThe Great Courses Plus thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere get a full month for FREE thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolfPhlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler setRobinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, you can get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to  youfeed.robinhood.comIf you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:Belinda GoreAmoda MaaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This mini episode is about the importance of taking small steps and how being consistent is not about being perfect. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Catherine Gray is a listener favorite guest on the show. She’s been on once before to talk about her book, The Unexpected Joy of being Sober and we received so many messages about how people loved the conversation Eric had with her. In this episode, she’s here to discuss her new book, The Unexpected Joy of being Single: Locating Happily Single Serenity. Are you single? Then obviously this episode is for you. Are you in a relationship? Then – unexpectedly – this episode is also for you! Too often, people stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being single, afraid of being alone. You don’t want to feel trapped where you are – you want to be empowered knowing that where you are is where you CHOOSE to be – not where you HAVE to be. So, re-framing what it means and what it’s like to be single opens up everyone’s world by bringing you to the point of choice about your relationship status, rather than the point of “panic settling” or “victim mentality” about your relationship status. Trust us, you’re going to like this one.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Catherine Gray and I Discuss…Her book,The Unexpected Joy of being Single: Locating Happily Single SerenityThat being single is not terrible!How being single is a whole lot better than “panic settling”That being single can be nourishing and refreshing – it has everything to do with reframing the way you see itEnjoying where you are at the timeThat there are pros and cons to being in a relationship and there are also pros and cons to being singleThe “if-then” happiness loop that’s a moving targetHow you get used to what you have and then you shoot for the next thingChoosing your perspective on your life and counting up your gratitudesThat being single is WAY BETTER than being in a bad relationshipHow people stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being single, afraid of being aloneWhat being a “love addict” meansHow you need bonding with 5 people in your life – not just 1 – to be happyHow essential it is to like yourself in order to be happy in a healthy relationshipThe three different attachment styles that are created in early childhood (but can be changed in adulthood): anxious attached, secure attached, avoidant attachedHow feminism – in other words, equality – has made it socially acceptable for women to be single nowA thought doesn’t have to lead to an actionDon’t let yourself get too “HALT” (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired)Catherine Gray LinksHomepageInstagramTwitterDaily Harvest – they deliver absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: feedThirdlove – they have 70 sizes including their signature 1/2 cup sizes! Find your perfect fit online in 60 seconds with their no tape measure needed fit finder. Get 15% off our first order at www.thirdlove.com/wolfQuip has guiding features that are a built-in support system for better brushing and it’s an affordable $25. Visit www.getquip.com/wolf get your first refill pack for freeIf you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:Catherine Gray (First interview 2018)Mary O’MalleySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jonathan Rottenberg is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of South Florida where he’s the director of the mood and emotion laboratory. He’s also the author of the book, The Depths:  The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic“, which he and Eric have discussed before. In this interview, they discuss some of the studies and research he’s involved with specific to those who go on to flourish after having depression. Why do they? What can we learn from them? There’s hope and practical wisdom in this episode for you.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Jonathan Rottenberg and I Discuss…His book, The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression EpidemicThriving after depressionThe studies and research he’s involved withPeople who thrive after depressionThe destructive and recurring nature of depressionThe typical low expectation for those with depression about life moving forward and how it should be differentWhat is mental “health”?Psychological well beingExperiencing positive emotionsExperiencing negative emotions to a lesser degreeFeeling of balance in lifeHaving meaningful relationshipsFeeling a sense of autonomy over your lifeHow happy should we expect to be?Having elements of wellbeing amidst struggling with depressionThe 3 things that seed a low mood: events, temperaments, and routinesRuminationWays that people can work with depression more skillfullyHaving a different relationship with your negative thoughtsHaving connections with othersResearch on flourishingHow much control do we have over our state of flourishing?That it’s never too lateThere is hopeOur culture that idealizes euphoriaThe role of our basic temperamentFactors of wellbeing other than emotion and moodThe organization he helped found, Depression ArmyThe interesting and transformative experience of depressionThat his depression has been defanged and it doesn’t break the skin anymoreJonathan Rottenberg, Ph.D. Links:Depression ArmyFacebookTwitterInstagramBlinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less, go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7-day free trialPolicy Genius helps you compare insurance plans and find the right policy for you at a price you can afford and then they handle everything – negotiating your rate and booking your appointment. Visit www.policygenius.comRobinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, you can get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to  youfeed.robinhood.comIf you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:Johan HariLisa Feldman BarrettTherese BorchardSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Susan David is a psychologist on faculty at Harvard Medical School. She’s also the co-founder and co-director of The Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital and is CEO of Evidence-Based Psychology. Her book is, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. Have you ever gotten hooked by a difficult emotion? In other words, have you ever felt compelled to act on a strong feeling without having any space to think about your action first? If so, you will find really helpful wisdom in this episode that you can take, apply today and live a more skillful, open-hearted life.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Susan David and I Discuss…Her book, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and LifeHow emotions are a guidance systemThat emotions can help us adapt and thriveThe thinking “unless I’m happy all the time, something is wrong”Emotional AgilityLoosening up, calming down and living with more intentionThe space between stimulus and responseEmotional rigidityAllowing the story in our head to drive our actionsBeing who we most want to be in this worldMoving away from the idea of “I have a thought and the thought is fact and I have to act on it”Getting hooked – accepting thought as factThat we are not our emotions – our emotions are a data sourceThe story that imprisons and keeps us from acting in an open-hearted wayHow to get unhookedGetting curious and compassionate about our emotions when we’re hookedI’m noticing that I’m feeling ____Creating a safe psychological space for ourselves“Walking your why”Choice points: do I move towards my values or away from my values?Social contagionKeeping your values front of mindDiscomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful lifeThat our difficult emotions (like anxiety, for example) don’t have to go away in order for us to live according to our valuesUnder our difficult emotions are signposts for our valuesPremature cognitive commitmentStories help us to make sense of our worldNaming our storiesSusan David, Ph.D. Links:susandavid.comTed Talk – Susan David, Ph.D.FacebookTwitterInstagramDaily Harvest delivers absolutely delicious, organic, carefully sourced, chef created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more! To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: feedThe Great Courses Plus offers thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. To get a full month for FREE, visit thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolfPhlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and enter promo code: WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parker Palmer is a writer, teacher, and activist whose work speaks deeply to many people in many different walks of life. He’s the founder and senior partner in The Center for Courage and Renewal. He’s the author of many books, including his newest one which we talk about on this episode: On The Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. Parker is one of our favorite guests of the show and after you listen to this episode, you’ll know why he’s back for a second conversation.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Parker Palmer and I Discuss…His book, On The Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting OldHis reflections looking back on his lifeThe resilient fabric of his lifeHow perfection is an illusionThe role mistakes can play in one’s lifeThe gift of age: Looking back on one’s life and saying “It all belongs”Another gift of age: Deep appreciation and gratitude for the present momentFeeling like you’re one of the lucky ones that you’re “old”Asking “What’s there for me to learn?” when facing problematic moments in life (like feeling down, or feeling self-pity)Moments of life that are burdened with egoThe correlation between ego concerns and anxietyThe importance and role of perspectiveThe what and why of the things we’re doingThe question (and trap!): Does my life have meaning?My legacy vs Our legacyHow we’re all embedded in community“I planted some seeds and found some people I wanted to garden with…”How life and work are profoundly communalReflecting on the question, “Have I been sufficiently open to and aware of the significant contributions others have made in my life – and in such a way to do a deep bow to them in the work that I do?”Turning attention outward vs inwardBeing one among many vs trying to be something or someone specialThe healing impact of getting out into the natural worldHis poem “Harrowing”To know when to say, “enough” because the rest of the world and the rest of my life is waitingParker Palmer LinksHomepageFacebookTwitterThe Great Courses Plus – Thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. Get a full month for FREE! thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolfThirdlove – they have 70 sizes including their signature 1/2 cup sizes! Find your perfect fit online in 60 seconds with their no tape measure needed fit finder. Get 15% off our first order at www.thirdlove.com/wolfRobinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options, and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to  youfeed.robinhood.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.