Sex and Psychology Podcast

Rachel Hope Cleves, a history professor at the University of Victoria and award-winning author, delves into the tantalizing ties between food and sexuality. She discusses how women's appetites have been seen as reflections of their sexuality and the historical shift of restaurants from erotic spaces to dining spots. Cleves also explores the unique association of gourmet cooking with gay culture and how cooking has served as a tool for seduction. Plus, she examines the modern social media landscape where food and sex continue to intertwine.

Have you ever noticed how good food and good sex just kind of go together? It turns out that this association goes back a really long time, so we’re going to dive into some of that fascinating history today. For example, I bet you didn’t know that the world’s first restaurants weren’t just places people went to eat–they were also places people went to have sex! My guest today is Rachel Hope Cleves, a professor of history at the University of Victoria and a member of the College of the Royal Society of Canada. She is the author of four award-winning nonfiction history books and one science fiction novel. Her latest book is titled “Lustful Appetites: An Intimate History of Good Food and Wicked Sex.” Some of the specific topics we explore include: How did people come to think that spicy food lead to sexual temptation? What’s the history of the restaurant as a place people originally visited for both food and sex? What kinds of aphrodisiacs did early restaurants serve? And why were these foods thought to increase sexual desire? How did early restaurants collaborate with sex workers to do business? Historically, how have restaurants used women’s sex appeal to increase business? You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University and author of 'Good Sex,' joins to explore the diverse dimensions of sexual pleasure. She discusses the common barriers to experiencing pleasure and why gender expectations differ significantly. Listeners learn about the importance of communication in enhancing intimacy and the evolving nature of sexual satisfaction. Tips for fostering a more satisfying sex life are shared, emphasizing self-worth and the significance of laughter in pleasure.

Let’s talk about orgasms! In today’s episode, we’re diving into a lot of interesting questions surrounding the big O. For example, who is responsible for your orgasm during sex: your partner or you? Also, is it ever OK to fake an orgasm? Additionally, we’ll explore strategies for having more orgasms if this is something you struggle with, as well as whether you can learn to be multiply-orgasmic. My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled, Good Sex, is now in print. Some of the topics we address in this episode include: Are orgasms something that our partners “give” us? What do porn and popular media get wrong about how orgasms are portrayed? What are the most common reasons why people fake orgasms? How are orgasms defined scientifically? The goal of closing the orgasm gap is to achieve orgasm equity. But what does orgasm equity actually look like? You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

A lot of the things you’ve probably learned about what healthy relationships look like are just plain wrong. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what you really need to know. Some of the topics we’re going to explore include how to know whether a given relationship is right for you, how to avoid moving too fast, and the single best things you can do for your relationship health. I am joined once again by Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, workshops, podcasts, and social media focuses on making sex education more accessible and normalizing sexual pleasure and play in people’s lives. You can find her on the socials at @sexclarified. Some of the topics we discuss include: Is a good relationship supposed to be hard or easy? Why is it unrealistic to expect a perfect sex life? What factors actually predict relationship satisfaction? How can we prioritize our relationships even when we’re busy? You can check out Claire’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Whether you consider yourself to be kinky or not, there’s a lot that all of us can learn from the kink community that could benefit our sex lives. Today, we’re going to explore five important things to know about cultivating safer, healthier, and more pleasurable sexual experiences. Along the way, we’re also going to dispel some common misconceptions about kink. My guest is Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, workshops, podcasts, and social media focuses on making sex education more accessible and normalizing sexual pleasure and play in people’s lives. You can find her on the socials at @sexclarified. Some of the topics we address in this episode include: What are some of the biggest myths about the world of kink? What does negotiation during sex look like in practice? What is the importance of checking-in during sex and how do you go about this? How can we unburden ourselves of sexual shame and come to self-acceptance? If you’re looking to explore kink for the first time, what do you need to know? You can check out Claire’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Marielle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam, conducted a groundbreaking study on sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium. She discusses fascinating cultural differences in erotic imaginations, such as why cuckolding is less common in Europe than in the U.S. Marielle explores how political beliefs influence fantasies and shares insights on emotional complexities, from feelings of shame to the joy of validation. She also offers advice on the best ways to communicate fantasies within intimate relationships, enhancing connections between partners.

David Khalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified sexologist, shares insights on men's anxiety around sex and relationships. He reveals how performance anxiety affects intimacy and self-esteem, highlighting societal pressures on body image and masculinity. Khalili discusses coping strategies for managing anxiety, the importance of communication in relationships, and the impact of societal expectations on men's sexual experiences. He also addresses the taboos surrounding conversations about sex, offering resources for deeper understanding.

In this discussion, David Khalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified sexologist, sheds light on the silent struggles many men face regarding mental health. He highlights the stigma surrounding men's mental health conversations and explores how loneliness and vulnerability contribute to these issues. The link between mental health and sexual desire is intricate, with stress impacting intimacy. David shares practical strategies for coping with emotional challenges while emphasizing the importance of supportive connections.

When it comes to how sex and sexuality are portrayed on screen, what does Hollywood get right and wrong? Let’s talk about it! I recently appeared on the Love Factually Podcast, hosted by my friends Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. They asked me to select a film about sex, so I picked the 2010 movie Easy A starring Emma Stone. We had a really fun conversation about it, so I wanted to share it with you today. Easy A covers a lot of timely themes, including sexual reputation, virginity, casual sex, and the sexual double standard. We discuss how this film handles them, what the science says about these topics, and also how our sexual culture has shifted since this film first came out. Some of the topics we explore include: Does the sexual double standard still exist for men and women? How is casual sex related to self-esteem? What does this movie get right and wrong about hookup culture? How do reputational concerns influence women’s interest in casual sex? I hope you enjoy this episode of the Love Factually podcast—and if you like what you hear, give Paul and Eli’s show a follow on Apple or Spotify. Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.