Episode 396: Why Women Orgasm More With Female Partners

9 snips

May 13, 2025

Carly Wolfer, a sex researcher and Ph.D. candidate, delves into the intriguing orgasm gap between women having sex with men versus women. She discusses how sexual scripts differ by partner gender, leading to increased pleasure when women are with women. Carly emphasizes the need for changes in sex education to enhance women’s sexual fulfillment and advocates for a shift towards equitable pleasure. Listeners will find insights on transforming societal norms and empowering sexual experiences for all.

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INSIGHT

Orgasm Gap Is Social, Not Biological

The orgasm gap disappears for women having sex with women, showing it is a social and relational issue, not biological.
When sex scripts aren't centered on male orgasm, women's pleasure and orgasm rates increase.

INSIGHT

Debunk Biological Myths About Orgasm Gap

Believing the orgasm gap is biological leads to higher sexism and acceptance of it as unfixable.
Dispelling myths about biology is key to addressing the orgasm gap and improving sex equity.

INSIGHT

Partner Gender Shapes Orgasm Scripts

Research with bisexual and pansexual women shows orgasm differences depend on partner gender, not the woman's gender.
This isolates how sexual scripts based on partner gender affect orgasm equity.

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When women have sex with men, there’s an orgasm gap. However, this gap disappears when women have sex with other women. So why is that? In today’s show, we’re diving into some new research finding that women anticipate sex is going to follow a very different script based on the gender of their partner. It turns out that those scripts have big implications for their odds of orgasm.

I am joined once again by Carly Wolfer, a sex researcher, relationship scientist, and health educator whose work explores how to create more equitable and pleasurable sexual experiences. She’s currently working on her Ph.D. in Social Psychology at The CUNY Graduate Center.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

Why do women have more orgasms when they engage sexually with other women?
In what ways do women’s sexual expectations change when they have sex with women vs. men?
How can we mold our sexual scripts to support more equitable pleasure for women?
How can we change sex education to better support women’s pleasure?

You can connect with Carly on LinkedIn to follow her updates.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.