Episode 403: How To Move Beyond Small Talk And Connect Deeply

11 snips

Jun 6, 2025

In this engaging discussion, Lindsay Jill Roth, an award-winning television producer and author of 'Romances & Practicalities', shares her insights on fostering authentic connections. She emphasizes the pitfalls of small talk and offers research-backed conversation starters to dive deeper with romantic interests. Lindsay also explores the importance of normalizing sexual conversations and provides tips for discussing intimate topics openly, helping to enhance both connection and chemistry in relationships.

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ADVICE

Avoid Boring Small Talk

Avoid sticking to small talk like job or favorite restaurants; it’s surface level and boring.
Ask low-barrier questions like about pets to reveal personality and personal stories naturally.

ADVICE

Use Silly Questions To Connect

Use lighthearted questions like "How do you hang your toilet paper?" to diffused tension.
Such quirky questions create comfort, humor, and open doors to deeper discussion.

ADVICE

Be Your Authentic Self

Be your authentic self and disclose at a pace comfortable for you.
If oversharing fits your style and the right partner, don’t hold back or pretend.

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Imagine you just met an attractive stranger and want to strike up a conversation. What are you going to say? More often than not, people play it safe and stick to small talk, but that makes it hard to really connect with someone. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss tips for moving beyond the small talk and establishing deeper, more authentic connections, as well as tips for improving sexual communication.

I am joined once again by Lindsay Jill Roth, an award-winning television and live-events producer who has created and developed a wide variety of programming globally. She is also author of the new book Romances & Practicalities, which is based on a set of 250 research-backed questions designed to help you initiate tricky conversations and find lasting love.

Some of the topics we explore include:

What are we doing wrong when it comes to getting to know others?
How can we ask more meaningful questions to people we’re romantically interested in?
What are some other good conversation starters for getting to know someone?
How do you normalize conversations about sex with a new partner?
How can talking about sex outside of the bedroom help us in the bedroom?

You can check out Lindsay’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.