Eli Finkel

Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick are both esteemed professors specializing in the psychology of attraction and romance. They dive into whether people truly have 'a type' when it comes to love and the pitfalls of online dating, highlighting how it may lead to over-filtering for attraction. The duo discusses declining dating rates among young people and the heightened expectations modern couples have for marriage, which can impact relationship satisfaction. Their insights reveal how societal narratives shape our romantic experiences.

Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick, relationship experts from Northwestern and UC Davis respectively, discuss how rom coms shape our views on love. They dive into the myths and truths behind classic films, revealing the importance of vulnerability and authenticity in relationships. By analyzing beloved movies like 'Notting Hill' and 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', they highlight unrealistic portrayals and offer practical advice for modern romance. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to seek genuine connections beyond cinematic fantasies.

The science is crystal clear, deep, genuine, healthy and enduring relationships are at the center of a well-lived life. But, so often, it’s the long-term intimate partnerships that we take most for granted or give least attentiveness to. Just assuming they’ll keep on keeping on. Until they don’t. So how DO you keep your relationship with someone you hope to be a life partner not just alive, but truly rich and flourishing and nourishing and joyful? Especially over a period of years or, if you’re fortunate enough, decades? What’s the secret to maintaining passion and connection throughout the years?That’s where we’re headed in this eye-opening conversation with professor Eli Finkel, as we dive deep into the world of romantic relationships. Eli is the author of the bestselling book The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work.You'll discover:The surprising impact of engaging in exciting, out-of-the-ordinary activities on relationship satisfaction and passion.How to distinguish between activities that foster closeness and those that reignite desire.The unexpected benefits of breaking out of routines and embracing new challenges together.And, lots more. During our conversation, we delve into the intricacies of maintaining passion in long-term relationships, discussing the importance of novelty, and exploring the potential benefits of breaking out of routines in the aftermath of the pandemic. Eli shares valuable insights on how couples can be deliberate about rebooting their relationships and resetting priorities, all while creating meaningful connections and lasting memories.You can find Eli at: Website | TwitterIf you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Julie and John Gottman about love and marriage.Check out our offerings & partners: My New Book SparkedMy New Podcast SPARKED. Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today we welcome Eli Finkel. He is a professor at Northwestern University, where he has appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management. In his role as director of Northwestern’s Relationships and Motivation Lab (RAMLAB), he has published more than 160 scientific papers and is a guest essayist for The New York Times. The Economist declared him “one of the leading lights in the realm of relationship psychology.” His latest book is called The All-Or-Nothing Marriage.In this episode, I talked to Eli Finkel about how the best marriages work. The institution of marriage has evolved throughout the decades. People used to tie the knot for socioeconomic purposes, but nowadays we seek to fulfill our higher need for self-actualization in relationships. According to Eli, higher expectations are not necessarily bad for marriages if people can use them strategically. Eli also shares love hacks we can implement to improve our relationships with our partners. Website: elifinkel.comTwitter: @EliJFinkel Topics02:54 Pleasure vs meaning in romance05:49 There’s no rule for marriages08:15 The pre-industrial mindset of marriage10:39 Vertical integration of needs in a relationship13:55 Expectations, goals, & fulfillment17:53 The evolution of marriage 22:30 The All or Nothing Theory of Marriage25:21 Mate evaluation theory and other studies34:48 The value of love hacks38:21 Positive attribution bias 39:36 Third-party reappraisal on conflictSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eli Finkel, a psychology professor at Northwestern University and author of 'The All-or-Nothing Marriage,' discusses the strains on romantic relationships during the pandemic. He highlights how couples can leverage this crisis to address lingering issues and emphasize the importance of shared experiences. Finkel introduces practical strategies—dubbed 'love hacks'—for enhancing communication and connection while navigating financial and emotional stress. He stresses prioritizing quality time and empathy to nurture relationships in tough times.

Renowned relationship expert Dr. Eli Finkel discusses the structure of successful marriages, the evolution of marital expectations, and the impact of societal changes on relationships. Topics include navigating traditional gender roles, the influence of modern dating apps, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and the promotion of a new sharing service for podcast clips.

Join leading psychologists Dr. Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel as they dissect modern dating dynamics. They tackle the significance of scent in attraction and the disparity between stated and revealed preferences, revealing surprising truths about what people truly desire. The conversation highlights flexibility in romantic preferences, the influence of dating apps, and how societal norms shape perceptions of love. They also critique cinematic portrayals of desire, emphasizing the evolving understanding of relationships in contemporary culture.

Join Dr. Paul Eastwick, a UC Davis professor studying romantic attraction, and Dr. Eli Finkel, a Northwestern University professor and author, as they dissect the truths and myths of romantic comedies. They explore whether love at first sight really exists and challenge the idea that opposites attract. Discover how films misrepresent intimacy and the complexities of relationships. With insights from iconic movies like 'When Harry Met Sally,' they emphasize the need to recognize both the charming and misleading aspects of cinematic love.

Dr. Eli Finkel, an expert in dating and relationships, discusses the importance of honesty in romantic attraction and debunks playing hard to get. The podcast also sheds light on the challenges of diagnosing Alzheimer's disease and ongoing research efforts for early detection and treatment.

Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick are relationship scientists with a keen focus on how love is portrayed in popular culture. They dissect the inaccuracies of romantic comedies, revealing how these films can mislead our expectations of love. The duo explores the balance between societal norms and personal experiences in relationships, highlighting surprising insights that films can offer about real intimacy. They also touch on persistence in romance narratives and the role of music in shaping emotional connections.