Episode 349: What Movies Get Right (And Wrong) About Relationships
Nov 29, 2024
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Join Dr. Paul Eastwick, a UC Davis professor studying romantic attraction, and Dr. Eli Finkel, a Northwestern University professor and author, as they dissect the truths and myths of romantic comedies. They explore whether love at first sight really exists and challenge the idea that opposites attract. Discover how films misrepresent intimacy and the complexities of relationships. With insights from iconic movies like 'When Harry Met Sally,' they emphasize the need to recognize both the charming and misleading aspects of cinematic love.
Romantic comedies often inaccurately depict love at first sight, whereas research shows initial attraction rarely leads to deep emotional connections.
Despite their appeal, films that feature opposites attracting overlook the reality that similarity generally fosters stronger romantic connections.
Deep dives
Popularity of Romantic Comedies
Romantic comedies are a widely enjoyed film genre, with over 70% of Americans expressing liking or love for them, according to a recent survey. This genre appeals to a diverse audience, transcending age and gender demographics alike. Despite their popularity, perceptions of the realism in these films are divided, as some viewers find them relatable while others view them as unrealistic portrayals of relationships. This dichotomy raises an important discussion about how accurately these films represent real-life romantic dynamics.
Common Relationship Tropes
Filmmakers often depict relationships starting from spontaneous encounters between strangers, such as the chance meeting seen in movies like 'Before Sunrise.' However, research suggests that most real-life relationships stem from pre-existing friendships, with 70% of individuals indicating that they were friends before entering a romantic relationship. The notion of love at first sight, frequently romanticized in films, is likewise questioned, as initial attraction typically does not amount to profound emotional connection. Recognizing these discrepancies encourages viewers to rethink the narratives presented in romantic comedies.
The Myth of Opposites Attracting
The idea that opposites attract is a recurring theme in many romantic films, as exemplified by stories like 'Grease' and '10 Things I Hate About You.' However, research reveals that individuals tend to favor those with whom they share similarities rather than those who differ, debunking the simplistic belief in attraction to opposites. While some differences can enhance excitement in relationships, a foundation of shared values generally leads to greater compatibility. Consequently, the films' representation of relationships often exaggerates the appeal of oppositional pairings without acknowledging the nuanced truth of attraction.
Reality vs. Narrative in Relationships
The podcast discusses the role of subjective experience in perceiving relationships, emphasizing that love can color one's judgments of a partner's traits. Movies often depict characters who dramatically shift from adoring to loathing their partners, reflecting the psychological concept of motivated cognition, where feelings affect perceptions. Additionally, successful films capture the importance of vulnerability and self-disclosure as integral to building intimacy, aligning with established relationship science. Ultimately, these depictions remind viewers that while narratives may deviate from reality, they can still offer valuable insights into the complexities of human connections.
Romantic comedies are one of the most popular film genres. But how accurate are rom-coms in the way they portray sex, love, and relationships? My guests today are the hosts of a new podcast that uses the science of relationships to separate fact from fiction in some of the biggest rom-coms of all time. We’re going to explore some of the things that Hollywood gets right and wrong in the way they depict relationships.
The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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