Plain English with Derek Thompson The Rules of Attraction and the Psychology of Romance
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May 20, 2025 
Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick are both esteemed professors specializing in the psychology of attraction and romance. They dive into whether people truly have 'a type' when it comes to love and the pitfalls of online dating, highlighting how it may lead to over-filtering for attraction. The duo discusses declining dating rates among young people and the heightened expectations modern couples have for marriage, which can impact relationship satisfaction. Their insights reveal how societal narratives shape our romantic experiences.
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Myth of Soulmates
- The soulmate belief can harm relationships when difficulties arise.
- It causes partners to think they are not destined to be together instead of working through problems.
Relationships Are Sinusoidal
- Relationships typically have ups and downs, not a continuous upward trend.
- The cultural narrative of romance as a hero's journey can mislead expectations.
Similarity Isn't Essential
- Similarity between partners does not strongly predict relationship success.
- People often overfocus on deal-breakers, narrowing their dating pool unnecessarily.