You Are Not So Smart 319 - Love Factually - Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick
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Aug 4, 2025 
In this enlightening discussion, Eli Finkel, a social psychologist specializing in relationship science, and Paul Eastwick, an expert in attraction and mate evaluation, dissect the beloved film 'The Notebook.' They explore emotional themes, the complexities of romantic relationships, and the real science behind love versus Hollywood portrayals. The duo critiques societal expectations in love, emphasizing intimacy, vulnerability, and emotional challenges faced by couples. Their insights reveal what the film gets right and wrong about enduring love.
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Intimacy and Personal Growth
- The movie accurately depicts intimacy escalation and risk-taking in early relationship stages.
- The Michelangelo phenomenon is shown as partners influence personal growth, like Allie's lost love of painting.
Importance of Social Approval
- Social approval from family and friends strongly predicts relationship stability.
- The outdated 'Romeo and Juliet effect' suggesting family disapproval increases attraction is disproven.
Dementia Misrepresented
- The movie misrepresents dementia; usually long-term memories remain longer than short-term.
- Periods of lucidity in dementia are rare and often occur near death, not from love miraculously curing it.
