ReThinking

How to say no

67 snips
Apr 29, 2025
In this enlightening discussion, Vanessa Bonds, a Cornell professor and author, teams up with Sherry Liu, founder of the Eldest Daughter Club, to tackle the delicate art of saying 'no.' They explore the challenges faced by people-pleasers and offer practical strategies for setting boundaries in both personal and professional relationships. The conversation touches on societal pressures, the emotional toll of refusal, and the transformative power of a compassionate 'no.' Listeners will gain valuable insights on prioritizing their own needs while maintaining healthier connections.
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ANECDOTE

The Giving Tree's Toxic Lesson

  • The Giving Tree story shows extreme people pleasing through the tree's self-sacrifice.
  • The disturbing ending highlights an unhealthy, one-sided relationship masked as generosity.
INSIGHT

People Pleasing Is Approval Craving

  • Chronic people pleasing stems from craving approval, not genuine care for others.
  • This creates one-sided, exhausting relationships instead of supportive connections.
INSIGHT

Why Saying No Feels Risky

  • Saying no risks reputation and relationships because refusing signals uncooperativeness.
  • Social and tangible repercussions make us feel pressured to comply.
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