Forrest and Dr. Rick tackle the tricky topic of dealing with other people’s psychological defenses. It’s often easier to see other people’s defenses than to see our own, which can make them particularly frustrating to deal with. In this episode, Rick and Forrest explore the psychological and communication skills that will allow you to have more successful conversations.
They start with a quick summary of what psychological defenses are and how they operate, before talking about recognizing our biases, showing empathy, and establishing a productive tone. Rick explains how to break the cycle of counterattacks that can happen when people get defensive, and how to balance different needs for closeness and distance. Topics include effective communication skills, moving from criticism toward values, managing frustration, and helping other people become more self-aware.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction, psychological defenses recap
3:40: Why can’t we see other people’s defenses?
10:35: Recognizing our own vulnerabilities, and showing empathy
14:20: Setting the tone
20:10: Disrupting the cycle of counterattacks
24:20: Approaching differing needs for closeness and distance
31:15: Joining with empathy before escalating requests
38:55: A mutual orientation toward growth
41:45: Seeing openings for dialog when they present themselves
43:40: Basing dialog around values vs. criticism
47:40: Managing frustration
53:25: Is there any way to help others become more self-aware?
1:01:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson