Something You Should Know

A Hostage Negotiator’s Advice for Difficult Conversations & How to Stay Alive Longer

51 snips
Jul 14, 2025
Ryan Dunlap, a former police detective and SWAT hostage negotiator, shares his insights on navigating difficult conversations with empathy and emotional regulation. He discusses strategies for high-stakes negotiations and how to foster understanding in personal relationships. John Tregoning, a Professor of Vaccine Immunology, explores the science of longevity, emphasizing that a fulfilling life may lead to a longer one. Together, they unravel the connections between effective communication, health choices, and aging.
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ANECDOTE

Hostage Negotiation Reality Check

  • Hostage negotiations mainly involve de-escalating people overwhelmed by irrational emotions.
  • Ryan Dunlap shares a story where words alone couldn't prevent a shooting during a negotiation.
ADVICE

Master Emotional Regulation

  • Regulate your emotions before difficult conversations to avoid derailment.
  • Practice self-awareness, confidence, and control to maintain composure under pressure.
ADVICE

Navigate Relationship Conflicts

  • Listen actively and validate feelings during conflicts with significant others.
  • Avoid defensive blame, seek to understand unmet expectations and offer perspective.
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