126: Melody Wilding — How to Manage Up and 5 Conversations to Have with Your Boss

14 snips

Jul 23, 2025

In a captivating conversation, Melody Wilding, bestselling author and professor of human behavior, dives into managing up effectively. She explains the art of emotional intelligence and the importance of self-advocacy over manipulation. Listeners learn about the 'triple win' strategy, aimed at mutual benefits for employees, managers, and the organization. Melody shares practical communication tips, boundary-setting strategies, and how to provide impactful feedback, transforming workplace dynamics into powerful alliances that elevate overall performance.

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INSIGHT

Managing Up Is For Your Agency

Managing up is not sucking up or manipulation and it's not primarily for your manager's benefit.
Melody Wilding argues managing up creates the clarity and conditions you need to succeed, even without positional power.

INSIGHT

EQ Is A Competitive Edge In The AI Era

Emotional intelligence and decoding others' psychology becomes a competitive edge versus AI's technical replication.
Melody Wilding says EQ skills like reading between the lines will matter more than technical skills in the near future.

ANECDOTE

Personal Layoff From Missing Alignment

Melody Wilding shares she was laid off because she lacked deep alignment with leadership on business priorities.
Her project was viewed as ancillary and got cut, illustrating the cost of missing alignment.

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In this conversation, Melody Wilding, an expert in managing up, discusses the essential skills and strategies needed to influence your boss and navigate workplace dynamics effectively. She emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence, establishing alignment, and taking ownership in your role. The discussion also covers setting boundaries, giving and receiving feedback, and the concept of the triple win, which focuses on finding mutually beneficial solutions for yourself, your boss, and the organization.

Melody Wilding is the bestselling author of Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work and the Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge.

Melody is a licensed social worker with a master’s degree from Columbia University, professor of human behavior at Hunter College in New York City, and former emotions researcher at Rutgers University.

For more than a decade, she’s helped top performers and leadership at the world’s most successful companies — including Google, JP Morgan, and Verizon — to communicate more clearly, prevent burnout, and transform complicated workplace dynamics into powerful alliances that impact the bottom line.

Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and dozens of other respected publications. She’s a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Fast Company, and CNBC.

➡️ Connect with Melody: https://melodywilding.com/

00:00 Mastering the Art of Managing Up

01:23 Understanding the Concept of Managing Up

05:37 Navigating Workplace Dynamics

07:52 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

11:55 The Power of Effective Conversations

15:35 The Triple Win Concept

20:21 Establishing Alignment with Your Boss

39:57 Taking Ownership in Your Role

49:50 Setting Boundaries for Success

53:35 Giving and Receiving Feedback Effectively

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