#219: Robin Dreeke – How to earn someone’s trust (from a former FBI special agent)

106 snips

Oct 22, 2024

Robin Dreeke, a former FBI Special Agent and author, shares his wealth of knowledge on building trust and authentic connections. He emphasizes the importance of clear communication and accountability in online spaces. Robin discusses how ego suspension can enhance relationships and the role of nonverbal cues in fostering trust. The conversation delves into balancing personal branding with genuine understanding of clients' needs, highlighting how these strategies can create lasting connections in both personal and professional realms.

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ADVICE

Building Trust

Inspire trust by making people feel safe.
Provide content that solves their problems with open, honest communication.

INSIGHT

Safety and Identity

People consume information that validates their self-opinions, creating a sense of safety.
Contradictory information can threaten their identity, triggering discomfort.

INSIGHT

Non-Judgmental Curiosity

Non-judgmental curiosity is key to building trust and rapport.
Be curious about what others want to share, not just what you want to know.

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Sizing People Up

A Veteran FBI Agent's User Manual for Behavior Prediction

Cameron Stauth

Robin Dreek

After two decades as a behavior analyst in the FBI, Robin Dreeke shares his expertise in reading people. His book provides a six-step system to predict future behavior, which is crucial for anyone involved in relationships, whether in leadership, teamwork, or sales. The system helps determine who can be trusted, who is likely to deliver on promises, and who might betray trust. The book is filled with anecdotes from Dreeke's career and practical tips on assessing reliability and trustworthiness.

Unbreakable Alliances

Robin Dreeke

In 'Unbreakable Alliances,' Robin Dreeke offers a comprehensive guide on how to build and maintain powerful relationships. The book provides practical strategies for building and keeping trust, communicating effectively across diverse styles and languages, inspiring others through compelling narratives, resolving conflicts, and nurturing alliances over time. Dreeke's insights are grounded in his work with the FBI Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program and his experience as an international spy recruiter.

The code of trust

Robin Dreeke

The Code of Trust is based on a system devised by Robin Dreeke during his years of field work at the highest levels of national security. The book outlines five principles: Suspend Your Ego, Be Nonjudgmental, Honor Reason, Validate Others, and Be Generous. These principles, along with four action steps (Align Your Goals, Apply the Power of Context, Craft the Encounter, and Connect), are designed to inspire trust in various settings, from personal relationships to corporate and military environments. Dreeke's approach emphasizes the importance of character-building and sincere efforts to be helpful and sensitive, leading to increased success and productivity[2][4][5].

It's Not All About Me

The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone

Robin Dreeke

In 'It's Not All About Me,' Robin Dreeke shares his research and expertise on building relationships by focusing on others rather than oneself. The book outlines ten techniques, including establishing artificial time constraints, accommodating nonverbals, slowing down speech, using sympathy or assistance themes, and validating others. These methods are designed to help readers build strong rapport by understanding and responding to the needs and behaviors of others. Dreeke emphasizes the importance of ego suspension, active listening, and reciprocal altruism in creating meaningful connections. The book is applicable to various professionals and individuals looking to improve their interpersonal skills.

What every BODY is saying

Marvin Karlins

Joe Navarro

pierre dukan

In this book, Joe Navarro, a former FBI counterintelligence officer, explains how to 'speed-read' people by decoding their nonverbal behavior. The book covers topics such as ancient survival instincts driving body language, how to avoid hidden pitfalls, and how to identify deceptive behaviors. It also discusses how body language can influence perceptions by others and provides simple nonverbal cues to establish trust and communicate authority. The book is filled with examples from Navarro's professional experience and offers a new way to navigate social interactions.

The 48 laws of power

Robert Greene

In 'The 48 Laws of Power', Robert Greene and Joost Elffers synthesize three thousand years of the history of power into 48 laws. These laws are derived from the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and Carl Von Clausewitz, as well as the lives of influential figures such as Henry Kissinger and P.T. Barnum. The book provides tactics, concepts, and lessons on how to achieve and maintain power, emphasizing prudence, confidence, and self-preservation. Each law is illustrated with historical examples and is designed to help readers understand and navigate the dynamics of power in various aspects of life, including work, social hierarchies, and politics.

The Body Keeps the Score

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Bessel van der Kolk

In this book, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma reshapes both the body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores various treatments, including neurofeedback, meditation, sports, drama, and yoga, which activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity to aid in recovery. The book emphasizes the power of relationships in both causing and healing trauma and offers hope through descriptions of novel approaches to treatment. It is based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists in the field[1][2][5].

The Laws of Human Nature

Robert Greene

In 'The Laws of Human Nature,' Robert Greene delves into the complexities of human behavior, identifying 18 laws that govern our actions and motivations. Drawing from historical figures such as Pericles, Queen Elizabeth I, and Martin Luther King Jr., Greene provides insights into how to detach from emotions, master self-control, develop empathy, and see beyond people's masks. The book is designed to help readers become better judges of character, manage their thought patterns, and influence others more effectively. It emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and understanding one's own flaws to make better decisions in personal and professional life[2][3][4].