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Life Kit

How to 'fight right' with your partner

Feb 13, 2024
In this engaging discussion, renowned relationship researchers Julie and John Gottman, who have spent 40 years studying marriage, share insights from their new book, 'Fight Right.' They explore how couples can navigate conflicts effectively, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding differing fighting styles. The Gottmans introduce the Bagel Method for distinguishing between flexible and non-negotiable issues, turning disputes into opportunities for growth. With practical tools and strategies, they guide couples towards deeper connections and healthier interactions.
25:10

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Quick takeaways

  • Understanding your fighting style and recognizing your partner's conflict style can lead to more productive conversations and effective resolution of conflicts.
  • Positivity plays a significant role in conflict discussions, and successful couples maintain a ratio of five positive interactions for every negative interaction, fostering healthier communication and relationship satisfaction.

Deep dives

Understanding Your Fighting Style

Understanding your fighting style is crucial in navigating conflicts in relationships. The Gottmans emphasize that it's important to recognize whether you are avoidant, volatile, or validating in your approach to conflict. Knowing your partner's conflict style can also help create a deeper understanding of each other. By understanding these styles, couples can have more productive conversations and find effective ways to resolve conflicts.

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