Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a board-certified psychiatrist and bestselling author, delves into the vital topic of personal boundaries. She reveals three surprising signs that indicate you might be giving too much of yourself. The conversation covers the importance of self-care that goes beyond surface-level practices, particularly in high-pressure environments. Dr. Lakshmin provides practical steps for reclaiming your power and prioritizing your well-being, ensuring you never feel guilty for saying 'no' or establishing limits again.
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Quick takeaways
Understanding and establishing boundaries is crucial for protecting personal time and mental health while preventing feelings of overwhelm.
Recognizing feelings of guilt when asserting boundaries is normal, but it shouldn't deter individuals from prioritizing their own needs.
Taking small, manageable steps towards setting boundaries can empower individuals to regain control over their time and choices in life.
Deep dives
Understanding Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for protecting one's time, energy, and mental peace, yet many struggle to establish them. They allow individuals to reclaim agency over their lives, signaling what is acceptable and necessary for personal well-being. Real self-care involves recognizing that feeling guilty or selfish for needing boundaries is a common emotional response, but it doesn't define one's character. By grasping the importance of boundaries, individuals can shift their mindset and realize that self-care is about prioritizing their own needs.
The Cost of Overextending
Many people feel overwhelmed when they overextend themselves, often leading to feelings of resentment and burnout. This is seen in everyday scenarios, such as a parent sacrificing personal time to meet family obligations, only to become irritable and resentful. It's vital to recognize that feelings of obligation can lead to poor boundary-setting and exacerbate stress. Acknowledging these patterns can empower individuals to take control of their choices and advocate for their needs.
The Power of the Pause
Taking a moment to pause before reacting can significantly enhance one's ability to set boundaries. This 'pause' serves as a mental space where individuals can reflect on their choices and the implications of their actions. By recognizing their feelings—like guilt or selfishness—as transient thoughts rather than absolute truths, individuals can make more thoughtful decisions about how to respond. Practicing this pause allows for a clearer understanding of personal limits and fosters empowered decision-making.
Small Steps to Boundaries
Starting with small, manageable steps is crucial for building effective boundaries. For instance, dedicating time to drink water or take breaks during the workday can be a good beginning. By assessing feelings regarding daily tasks and commitments, individuals can identify where they might be over-committing or feeling drained. Each small win not only cultivates confidence but also reinforces the idea that it's acceptable to prioritize personal needs without guilt.
Recognizing Agency in Decision-Making
Agency is the ability to make choices and reflect on personal preferences in daily life. When individuals tune into their feelings regarding commitments and tasks, they create space for better decision-making. By expressing their needs—like rescheduling meetings to accommodate personal responsibilities—people can regain control over their time and commitments. This proactive approach to decision-making fosters a powerful sense of self-worth and underscores the importance of valuing one's own needs.
When was the last time you said "no" without feeling guilty? Or set a boundary and actually stuck to it?
If you can’t remember, today’s episode is the wake-up call you need.
Boundaries can protect your time, energy, and mental space, and yet for so many of us, boundaries are hard to make and almost impossible to keep.
Renowned psychiatrist Dr. Pooja Lakshmin is sharing the 3 surprising signs that you lack boundaries and how to take control to reclaim your life.
By the end of this conversation, you're not only going to know how to set them, you're going to realize that any single time you feel overwhelmed or overextended, you need to take her 3 simple yet powerful steps to taking your power back.