Women at Work

To Get What You Want, Be Both Assertive and Warm

Oct 28, 2024

Alison Fragale, a professor of organizational behavior and author of Likeable Badass, shares her insights on achieving professional success by blending assertiveness with warmth. She discusses how women can enhance their communication skills and effectively negotiate without compromising likability. Practical tips include crafting thoughtful emails and reconnecting with past contacts to build meaningful professional relationships. Alison emphasizes the power of genuine compliments and encourages reframing rejection in negotiation as a valuable learning experience.

37:30

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Episode guests

Alison Fragale

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Quick takeaways

Women can successfully combine assertiveness with warmth to enhance their influence and status in professional settings.

Effective negotiation strategies that embrace both assertiveness and warmth can lead to better outcomes and foster trust.

Deep dives

The Importance of Combining Assertiveness and Warmth

Women often navigate the conflicting expectations of assertiveness and warmth in professional settings. Conventional wisdom suggests that women must choose between being perceived as competent or likable, a dilemma known as the double bind. However, research shows that these traits can coexist and actually enhance a woman's status and influence. By embracing both assertiveness and warmth—such as being confident while caring for others—women can build their status, leading to greater power and control over resources in their workplaces.

Intro

3min

Navigating Assertiveness and Warmth in the Workplace

11min

Balancing Assertiveness and Warmth in Negotiation

4min

Empowering Connections: Navigating Networking for Women

8min

Building Connections through Authentic Compliments

2min

Mastering Negotiation Through 'Collecting No's'

12min

When you’ve gone after something you want, like a promotion or less boring work, did you follow the typical advice to lean hard into your confident, forceful side? When you’re interacting with people at work, how often do you find yourself deflecting praise, downplaying your accomplishments, or responding “busy!” when someone asks how you’re doing? We often make a tradeoff between being likable and being strong, but is it possible to be both assertive and warm?

Alison Fragale, a professor of organizational behavior, says yes. She argues that women can—and should—embrace warmth and assertiveness to build respect, elevate their status, and gain power. Alison shares practical ways to show up as strong and personable and offers advice on how to approach negotiations, networking, and other everyday interactions, including your out-of-office message.

Guest:

Alison Fragale is a professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina’s business school. She’s the author of the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.

Email us: womenatwork@hbr.org

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Women at Work

To Get What You Want, Be Both Assertive and Warm

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

The Importance of Combining Assertiveness and Warmth

Conscious Choices in Professional Interactions

The Role of Communication in Negotiations

Building Status through Connection and Feedback

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts