Alison Fragale, a professor of organizational behavior and author of Likeable Badass, shares her insights on achieving professional success by blending assertiveness with warmth. She discusses how women can enhance their communication skills and effectively negotiate without compromising likability. Practical tips include crafting thoughtful emails and reconnecting with past contacts to build meaningful professional relationships. Alison emphasizes the power of genuine compliments and encourages reframing rejection in negotiation as a valuable learning experience.
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Quick takeaways
Women can successfully combine assertiveness with warmth to enhance their influence and status in professional settings.
Effective negotiation strategies that embrace both assertiveness and warmth can lead to better outcomes and foster trust.
Deep dives
The Importance of Combining Assertiveness and Warmth
Women often navigate the conflicting expectations of assertiveness and warmth in professional settings. Conventional wisdom suggests that women must choose between being perceived as competent or likable, a dilemma known as the double bind. However, research shows that these traits can coexist and actually enhance a woman's status and influence. By embracing both assertiveness and warmth—such as being confident while caring for others—women can build their status, leading to greater power and control over resources in their workplaces.
Conscious Choices in Professional Interactions
The notion of consciously evaluating one's behavior in interactions can lead to better outcomes for women in the workplace. Being aware of the impact of warmth and assertiveness allows women to make strategic choices that align with their goals. For instance, instead of prioritizing likability at the cost of asserting expertise, individuals can aim to balance both traits in their communication. This self-awareness helps in recognizing that actions taken to build warmth or assertiveness can often influence perceptions positively while maintaining authenticity.
The Role of Communication in Negotiations
Effective communication plays a crucial role in negotiations, particularly for women advocating for their worth in various situations. By combining assertiveness with warmth during negotiations, individuals can foster trust and cooperation, making it more likely to achieve desired outcomes. This approach not only includes advocating for oneself but also demonstrating that one cares about the other's interests. Such strategies position women favorably during negotiations, encouraging their counterparts to respond positively and consider their requests seriously.
Building Status through Connection and Feedback
Building a professional network that enhances status requires consistent outreach and connection with others. One practical method is to regularly send messages to reacquaint oneself with contacts, which helps maintain visibility within a network. Moreover, the act of complimenting others not only strengthens personal bonds but also enhances one's status when those individuals reciprocate. This ongoing cycle of connection and acknowledgment fosters an environment where women can thrive, as they garner support from peers while asserting their own goals.
When you’ve gone after something you want, like a promotion or less boring work, did you follow the typical advice to lean hard into your confident, forceful side? When you’re interacting with people at work, how often do you find yourself deflecting praise, downplaying your accomplishments, or responding “busy!” when someone asks how you’re doing? We often make a tradeoff between being likable and being strong, but is it possible to be both assertive and warm?
Alison Fragale, a professor of organizational behavior, says yes. She argues that women can—and should—embrace warmth and assertiveness to build respect, elevate their status, and gain power. Alison shares practical ways to show up as strong and personable and offers advice on how to approach negotiations, networking, and other everyday interactions, including your out-of-office message.
Guest:
Alison Fragale is a professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina’s business school. She’s the author of the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.