The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos Dump Your Inner Drill Sergeant
42 snips
Jan 4, 2021 
Kristin Neff, an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin, focuses on self-compassion and its crucial role in well-being. She discusses how self-criticism hampers progress and how treating ourselves with kindness fosters resilience and motivation. The conversation dives into overcoming challenges like divorce with a compassionate mindset, and how this approach can alleviate the fear of failure. Neff emphasizes the importance of a supportive inner dialogue, especially when setting New Year's resolutions, promoting a healthier path to personal growth.
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Kristin Neff's Divorce
- Kristin Neff's life was messy after a difficult divorce, leading to shame and self-criticism.
- She hoped that self-criticism would make her a better person and prevent future mistakes.
Self-Criticism vs. Shame
- Self-criticism and shame are related but different; shame is the end result of self-criticism.
- While criticizing behavior can be healthy (guilt), criticizing oneself is debilitating, shutting down awareness and motivation.
Self-Criticism as a Threat Response
- Self-criticism arises from a threat response (fight, flight, freeze) directed inwards.
- We are kinder to friends than ourselves because we perceive our mistakes as a threat, triggering self-attack.
