The problem with being "too nice" at work | Tessa West
Jul 15, 2024
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Social psychologist Tessa West discusses the downsides of being 'too nice' at work and the importance of clear, consistent feedback. Modupe provides tips on sharing constructive criticism for effective communication in the workplace.
Anxious niceness at work can lead to vague and unhelpful feedback, masking personal discomfort over genuine concern.
Providing clear and specific feedback is crucial for effective communication, overcoming the challenges of delivering constructive criticism.
Deep dives
The Impact of Anxious Niceness in Interactions
An observation is made on the tendency for individuals to exhibit anxious niceness in uncomfortable situations, leading to non-specific and overly polite interactions. This behavior often stems from personal discomfort rather than genuine concern for the other person. The speaker presents research findings on the effects of anxious niceness in various settings, emphasizing the physiological and behavioral responses it triggers in individuals. The importance of providing specific feedback over generic praise is highlighted as a means of fostering more meaningful and respectful communication.
Challenges in Breaking the Cycle of Anxious Niceness
The difficulty of breaking the ingrained culture of anxious niceness in feedback exchanges is discussed, with an emphasis on the complexities of delivering constructive criticism. Strategies for shifting towards more direct feedback include initiating small steps towards specificity, framing feedback based on neutral aspects, and focusing on replacing negative feedback with actionable suggestions. The speaker stresses the importance of balancing niceness with clarity in feedback delivery to enhance communication effectiveness.
Overcoming Fear of Giving Specific Feedback
The podcast explores the reasons behind individuals' reluctance to provide detailed feedback, delving into potential fears and anxieties associated with giving honest critiques. By encouraging listeners to reflect on their hesitations in delivering feedback, the speaker prompts a deeper understanding of personal barriers to effective communication. The episode concludes by encouraging listeners to consider ways to enhance their feedback approach by incorporating specific praise and addressing underlying concerns preventing candid feedback conversations.
Are you "too nice" at work? Social psychologist Tessa West shares her research on how people attempt to mask anxiety with overly polite feedback — a practice that's more harmful than helpful — and gives three tips to swap generic, unhelpful observations with clear, consistent feedback, even when you feel awkward. After the talk, Modupe shares useful tips on how to share constructive criticism.