Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist and best-selling author, reveals the secrets of self-awareness in leadership. She discusses the importance of distinguishing between internal and external self-awareness and highlights the 'mum effect'—the tendency to avoid uncomfortable truths. Tasha introduces the concept of 'loving critics,' individuals who provide honest feedback to help you grow. She also shares strategies for effectively seeking feedback and emphasizes the role of kindness in enhancing leadership skills.
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insights INSIGHT
Two Types of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness involves two independent types: internal (knowing yourself) and external (knowing how others see you).
Both are crucial for leadership but don't guarantee each other, leading to different self-awareness archetypes.
insights INSIGHT
The Mum Effect
The "mum effect" describes people's tendency to withhold uncomfortable truths, even resorting to white lies.
This makes proactively seeking feedback crucial for self-aware leaders.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Self-Awareness Unicorns
Tasha Eurich's research on "self-awareness unicorns" revealed people who significantly improved their self-awareness.
These individuals proactively sought feedback, debunking the myth of naturally self-aware people.
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Radical Candor by Kim Scott offers a practical approach to management by emphasizing the importance of caring personally and challenging directly. The book argues that effective managers must find a balance between being empathetic and providing clear, honest feedback. Scott draws from her experiences at Google and Apple to provide actionable lessons on building strong relationships, giving feedback, and creating a collaborative work environment. The book introduces the concept of 'radical candor' as the sweet spot between obnoxious aggression and ruinous empathy, and provides tools and strategies for managers to implement this approach in their daily work[1][2][5].
Thanks for the Feedback
The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
Douglas Stone
Sheila Heen
Difficult Conversations
How to Discuss What Matters Most
Roger Drummer Fisher
Douglas Stone
Bruce Patton
Sheila Heen
This book provides a step-by-step approach to having tough conversations with less stress and more success. It covers how to decipher the underlying structure of difficult conversations, raise tough issues without triggering defensiveness, manage strong emotions, and keep balance regardless of the other person's response. The book is filled with examples from everyday life and addresses issues such as race, culture, gender, power, and communication via technology. It is designed to help readers improve oral communication in personal, professional, and public life.
Insight
David G. Hamilton
Tasha Eurich: Insight
Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author. Thinkers50 has named her one of the top 30 emerging management thinkers in the world and a top 50 world leader in coaching. She was selected by Marshall Goldsmith for his exclusive “100 Coaches” project to advance the practice of leadership.
Tasha’s TEDx talks have been viewed more than three million times. She is the author of the book Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think.
In this conversation, Tasha and I discuss the critical nature of self-awareness and the tendency most people have to stay mum about the truth. She shows us how to discover loving critics who will help you get better — and what you can do and say to support useful feedback coming your way.
Key Points
Internal and external self-awareness are both critical — and different. Improving both is important for most leaders.
“Research shows that people are perfectly willing to tell white lies when they’re easier than the cold, hard truth.”
Loving critics are people who have mutual trust with you, have sufficient exposure to the behavior you want feedback on and a clear picture of what success looks like, and are willing and able to be brutally honest with you.
It’s critical to be specific in the questions you ask, seeking feedback. Prime the pump by zeroing in on only one or two areas at a time.
Bonus Audio
What Others See
Resources Mentioned
5-minute Insight Quiz
Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think* by Tasha Eurich
Book Notes
Download my highlights from Insight in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Get Way Better at Accepting Feedback, with Sheila Heen (episode 143)
Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond(episode 306)
How to Process Your 360 Degree Feedback, with Tom Henschel (episode 341)
What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438)
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