497: Julian Treasure - How To Speak So That People Will Want To Listen

Oct 30, 2022

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ANECDOTE

Resentment and Well-Wishing Exercise

Julian learned from his friend Charlie that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting others to die.
Practicing wishing others well like saying "bless you" can make you happier and kinder.

ADVICE

Avoid Gossip in Communication

Avoid gossip which harms relationships and undermines your credibility.
Speak kindly behind others’ backs and abstain from gossip to improve your communication.

INSIGHT

Authenticity and Values Guide Growth

Authenticity and being comfortable in your own skin builds confidence in others.
Written personal values guide decisions and help you grow daily.

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Julian Treasure is a sound and communication expert. His TED Talk, “How to speak so that people want to listen” is in the top 10 TED talks of all time and collectively, his 5 TED talks have been listened to more than 100 million times! He is also the best-selling author of How to be Heard and Sound Business.

Notes:

"I was taught this exercise many years ago by a wise old friend named Charlie. I was bemoaning someone being in my way and Charlie put his hand on my arm. “You know, resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die,” he said. When we’re unconsciously in the habit of judging and blaming others, it can have a huge impact on our well-being."
You can’t judge and love at the same time. Being judgemental is the opposite of being curious. "Being judgemental comes from ego and from darkness in the soul."
Julian's values: Write them down. Be clear. They help you make decisions...
- Faith - A decision that all will be well
- Love - Wish people well
- Acceptance - Go with the flow
- Gratitude - Be focused on the half-full bit of the glass

There are 4 foundations that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and make change in the world
- HAIL - To greet or acclaim enthusiastically
- H - Honesty - Be clear and straight
- A - Authenticity - Be yourself
- I - Integrity - Do what you say. Be your word.
- L - Love - Wish them well. “If you’re really wishing someone well, it’s hard to judge them at the same time.”
7 deadly sins of speaking
- Gossip
- Judging
- Negativity
- Complaining
- Excuses
- Exaggeration
- Dogmatism
Listening is a skill. Hearing is a capability. Listening is making meaning from sound. You can practice it and master it. As leaders, we need to continue working on this skill to ensure the people we’re leading know they are heard and seen. We all can picture that bad boss that looked at their phone while we talked to them. Let's not be that person.
Listening is making meaning from sound...