William Ury, a world-renowned negotiation expert and co-author of 'Getting to Yes,' shares his insights on thriving in negotiations. He asserts that embracing conflict can lead to better outcomes and encourages listeners to examine their own barriers in tough discussions. Ury highlights the power of pauses and reflection, using historical examples to illustrate composure in high-stakes situations. By uncovering deeper interests behind positions, he reveals how understanding motivations can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth.
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insights INSIGHT
Conflict is Natural
Conflict is natural and necessary for growth and development.
The challenge lies in transforming conflict constructively through negotiation.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Vasily Arkhipov's Pause
During the Cuban Missile Crisis, a Soviet submarine officer, Vasily Arkhipov, refused to launch a nuclear torpedo.
His pause prevented a potential nuclear war.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Build a Balcony
The biggest obstacle in negotiation is ourselves, not the other person.
Create a mental "balcony" to pause, gain perspective, and control your reactions.
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In 'Possible: How We Survive and Thrive in an Age of Conflict,' William Ury draws on his decades of experience as a negotiator to offer practical strategies for navigating conflict. The book emphasizes the importance of listening, understanding the other side's perspective, and finding creative solutions that satisfy everyone's interests. Ury introduces the concept of 'possibilism,' encouraging readers to cultivate curiosity, creativity, and collaboration to overcome challenges. Through compelling real-world examples, he demonstrates how seemingly impossible situations can become possible with the right approach. The book provides a powerful framework for resolving conflicts in personal, professional, and global contexts.
Getting to yes
negotiating agreement without giving in
William Ury
Roger Drummer Fisher
Bruce Patton
Getting to Yes, written by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton, introduces the concept of principled negotiation. This approach separates the people from the problem, focuses on interests rather than positions, invents options for mutual gain, and insists on using objective criteria. The book provides strategies to manage emotions, avoid common negotiation traps, and deal with 'dirty tricks' used by other parties. It emphasizes the importance of understanding the other side's perceptions, managing misperceptions, and creating a collaborative environment to reach agreements that satisfy both parties[1][4][5].
William Ury: Possible
William Ury is one of the world’s best-known experts on negotiation, and the co-author of Getting to Yes, the all-time bestselling book on negotiation with more than 15 million copies sold. He is co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation and has served as a negotiator in many of the toughest disputes of our times. He has taught negotiation to tens of thousands, and consulted for dozens of Fortune 500 companies, the White House, the State Department, and the Pentagon.
William has served as a negotiation adviser and mediator in conflicts ranging from Kentucky wildcat coal mine strikes to wars in the Middle East, Colombia, Korea, and Ukraine. He is an internationally sought-after speaker and has two popular TEDx talks with millions of views. He's also the author of Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict*.
We often assume that conflict is bad, but William says we actually need more conflict, not less. In this conversation, we explore three practices that will help you thrive in the toughest negotiations. And no surprise — the biggest obstacle in getting what we want is almost always ourselves.
Key Points
We need more conflict, not less. The best decisions often emerge from a negotiation.
The biggest obstacle in negotiation is ourselves. Pauses and silence prevent us from reacting without thinking.
Zoom in to examine the interests that are behind your stated positions. This often elicits meaningful steps.
Rarely are conflicts about surface issues. Uncovering your deeper motivations will help you approach negotiation more productively.
Negotiation doesn’t only happen at one table. Zoom out to at least two other tables: the internal negotiations of both sides.
Resources Mentioned
Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict* by William Ury
Interview Notes
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Related Episodes
Negotiate As If Your Life Depended On It, with Chris Voss (episode 262)
How to Find Confidence in Conflict, with Kwame Christian (episode 380)
How to Negotiate When Others Have Power, with Kwame Christian (episode 416)
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