Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist, dating coach, and author of "How to Not Die Alone," shares insights into the complexities of modern dating. He discusses how irrational decision-making can hinder romantic success and emphasizes the importance of honesty in dating interactions. Ury addresses the impact of dating apps, particularly Hinge's approach to fostering genuine connections. The conversation also touches on post-pandemic shifts towards serious relationships and the necessity for vulnerability and authenticity in forming meaningful connections.
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insights INSIGHT
Relationships and Well-being
Quality relationships are crucial for overall health and life satisfaction.
People in happy relationships experience greater longevity and fewer health issues.
insights INSIGHT
Modern Dating Challenges
Modern dating is harder due to self-crafted identities and high relationship expectations.
Increased freedom creates pressure, and we seek everything from one soulmate.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Paradox of Choice in Dating
The jam study shows more choices lead to less selection, applicable to dating.
Excessive choices cause decision paralysis and doubt in dating.
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The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love
Amir Levine
In this book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel Heller explore the science of adult attachment, a concept pioneered by John Bowlby. They identify three primary attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, and secure, each influencing how individuals approach relationships. The authors provide tools and communication strategies to help readers determine their own and their partner's attachment styles, navigate relationship challenges, and build more fulfilling and secure relationships. The book emphasizes that understanding attachment styles can help avoid mismatched relationships and foster a more secure and satisfying love life[2][4][5].
How Not to Die
Michael Greger
Gene Stone
In *How Not to Die*, Dr. Michael Greger examines the top 15 causes of premature death in America, including heart disease, various cancers, diabetes, Parkinson's, and high blood pressure. He explains how nutritional and lifestyle interventions can often be more effective than pharmaceutical and surgical approaches in preventing and reversing these diseases. The book includes Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen, a checklist of foods to consume daily for maximum health benefits, and is backed by extensive scientific research and evidence.
How to Change
The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
Katy Milkman
In this ground-breaking book, Katy Milkman reveals a proven path to help readers move from where they are to where they want to be. Drawing on her original research and the work of her world-renowned scientific collaborators, Milkman shares strategic methods for identifying and overcoming common barriers to change, such as impulsivity, procrastination, and forgetfulness. The book offers innovative approaches like 'temptation bundling,' using timely reminders, and creating 'set-it-and-forget-it systems' to make change more achievable. It emphasizes the importance of tailoring solutions to specific roadblocks and using science to stack the deck in favor of successful change.
The paradox of choice
Why More Is Less
Barry Schwartz
In 'The Paradox of Choice,' Barry Schwartz argues that the abundance of choices in modern Western society, while seemingly beneficial, can actually be detrimental to our psychological and emotional well-being. He explains how the explosion in choices, from mundane decisions like buying jeans to profound challenges like balancing career and family, has paradoxically become a problem rather than a solution. Schwartz synthesizes current research in social sciences to make the counterintuitive case that eliminating choices can reduce stress, anxiety, and busyness. He offers practical steps to limit choices, focus on important ones, and derive greater satisfaction from decision-making. The book also introduces the concepts of 'maximizers' and 'satisficers,' highlighting the differences in their decision-making processes and outcomes.
Relationships journalist and podcast host Andrea Silenzi talks with Logan Ury, behavioral scientist-turned-dating coach, and author of How to Not Die Alone. They discuss the decision-making that gets in the way of our dating lives, the case for finding a life partner, and what dating looks like in a post-pandemic, app-driven world.
The Gray Area with Sean Illing 
