Doctor Gabor Mate: I Regret My Interview With Prince Harry! The Shocking Link Between Kindness & Illness!
Oct 12, 2023
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Dr. Gabor Mate, trauma and addiction expert, discusses the connection between kindness and illness, the importance of saying no, his regrets about interviewing Prince Harry, the impact of childhood trauma, the need to reconnect with gut feelings, the effects of repressing anger, and how being excessively nice hurts your health.
Repressing healthy anger can lead to disturbances in the immune system and increase susceptibility to illness.
Childhood trauma often leads to people-pleasing behaviors and an inability to say no, resulting in sacrificing authenticity and needs.
Creating supportive environments that prioritize emotional well-being can mitigate the negative effects of trauma and promote overall well-being.
Exploring resources like books, interviews, and self-help groups can contribute to personal growth and healing, especially for those who cannot afford therapy.
Deep dives
The Impact of Childhood Trauma and Repressed Emotions on Health
Childhood trauma and repressed emotions can have significant impacts on a person's health. Emotional repression, particularly the suppression of healthy anger, can lead to disturbances in the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illness. This repression often stems from childhood experiences, where children may have had to sacrifice their authenticity and needs in order to maintain attachment and acceptance from their caregivers. People-pleasing behaviors and an inability to say no are common characteristics of individuals who have repressed their emotions. These individuals are at risk for various health problems, including autoimmune diseases, cancer, and chronic illnesses. It is crucial to address and heal from trauma, explore authenticity, and learn to establish boundaries in order to improve overall well-being.
Challenges and Transformations on the Path to Authenticity
For individuals struggling with people-pleasing tendencies, turning the tide and embracing authenticity can be challenging. Many people-pleasers have deeply ingrained beliefs that lead them to prioritize others' needs and expectations over their own. Overcoming these patterns requires self-reflection and understanding the root causes of these behaviors. Recognizing the fear of not being liked or losing relationships is often a driving force behind people-pleasing. However, individuals must confront the possible loss of relationships that were built on inauthenticity in order to create space for healthier, more genuine connections. This process may involve setting boundaries, learning to say no, and surrounding oneself with supportive individuals who value and encourage authenticity.
The Importance of Education and Prevention
In order to promote overall well-being and prevent the negative impacts of childhood trauma and repressed emotions, it is vital to prioritize education and prevention. Caregivers, healthcare professionals, and educators must be trained to understand the mind-body connection and recognize the signs of trauma in individuals. Creating supportive environments that prioritize emotional well-being in families, schools, and communities can help mitigate the negative effects of trauma. Additionally, fostering a sense of security, reducing uncertainty, and providing social support can help individuals develop healthier coping mechanisms and avoid the need for maladaptive behaviors. By addressing trauma and emotional needs early on and promoting holistic approaches to healing, we can create a healthier society.
Accessing Resources for Healing and Personal Growth
Acquiring resources for healing and personal growth is essential, especially if individuals cannot afford therapy. There are various avenues to explore, such as reading books that delve into trauma and emotional well-being. Many insightful books are available, covering topics like internal family systems, trauma recovery, and understanding the mind-body connection. Online resources like interviews, talks, and self-help groups can also provide valuable information and support. Individuals can access these resources to gain a deeper understanding of themselves, learn coping mechanisms, and navigate their healing journey. While therapy may not be accessible to everyone, these resources can serve as a starting point for personal growth and healing.
The Power of Recognizing Trauma
Trauma can have a profound impact on individuals, leading to over-labeling and a sense of brokenness. However, recognizing trauma is not about disempowerment but about empowerment. By understanding the roots of our responses and realizing that our true selves are still intact, we can overcome trauma and let go of harmful patterns. Awareness of trauma allows us to take responsibility for our actions and grow beyond our past experiences.
Understanding Anger and Healthy Boundaries
Anger, when channeled in a healthy way, serves as a boundary defense mechanism. It is not about berating others or seeking revenge. Healthy anger sets clear boundaries and protects what is important to us. On the other hand, unhealthy anger keeps escalating and can have negative effects on our well-being and relationships. Unresolved childhood trauma can contribute to the intensification of anger. Recognizing our triggers and healing past wounds is vital for cultivating healthy anger and fostering harmonious relationships.
The Importance of Emotional Vulnerability and Inner Peace
Vulnerability is often seen as a risk, but it is also the catalyst for growth. Emotional vulnerability allows us to connect authentically with others and ourselves. In a society that commonly avoids vulnerability, embracing it brings profound connections and personal growth. Cultivating inner peace is crucial, as it serves as the foundation for meaningful relationships and a fulfilling life. By understanding our true intentions and aligning our actions with our goals, we can foster inner peace and create a positive impact on our own lives and the world.
Being nice is bad for your health, while being angry is healthy, Dr. Gabor Mate unpacks the inner depths that lie beneath the personality you show to the world.
In this new episode Steven sits down again with world-renowned trauma and addiction expert, Dr. Gabor Mate.
Dr. Gabor Mate is a physician and an expert on addiction, stress and childhood development. For 12 years, Gabor worked in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients challenged by drug addiction, mental illness and HIV. He has over 20 years of family practice and palliative care experience. His books include: ‘When the Body Says No’, ‘In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction’ and most recently, ‘The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture’.
In this conversation Gabor and Steven discuss topics, such as:
His tough year
His biggest self-criticisms
Why you don't have to identify with emotions
The importance of saying ‘no’
Why he can't follow his own advice
Losing himself with success
His interview with Prince Harry
Why he regrets this interview
What he learned about Prince Harry
How Prince Harry was a traumatised child
The importance of asking for help
The need to reconnect to our gut feelings
Why gut feelings are everything
How we play out our traumas
Why women take the pain for both partners in a couple
How repressing anger makes you sick
Why you need healthy anger
The ways that repressing emotions makes you sick
The worst part of trauma
How being nice hurts your health
Why people need to be angry
Why people pleasers are unhealthy
How you can inherit stress
The power of knowing your trauma
The need to learn how to breath
Why people are having sex too soon
How success will never give inner peace
The goal you should chase in life
You can purchase Dr. Mate’s most recent book, ‘The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture’, here: https://amzn.to/40unjpo