The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

FBI’s Top Hostage Negotiator: The Art Of Negotiating To Get Whatever You Want: Chris Voss

May 30, 2022

Chris Voss, a former FBI lead negotiator and bestselling author of 'Never Split the Difference,' shares his incredible insights on negotiation. He emphasizes the importance of empathy and active listening, revealing how understanding others' needs can transform any negotiation into a partnership rather than a battle. Voss recounts tense situations, from bank robberies to personal relationships, showcasing techniques like mirroring and labeling emotions to build rapport. His experiences highlight that successful negotiations stem from a deep human connection.

01:04:04

Episode guests

Chris Voss

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Highlights

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Episode notes

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Listening is crucial in negotiations, establishing trust and building stronger relationships.

Experiencing traumatic events can lead to growth or distress; learning from difficulties is essential.

Labeling emotional pain and mirroring body language can create rapport and facilitate effective communication in negotiations.

Deep dives

The importance of listening in negotiations

Listening is crucial in negotiations, whether it's in business or law enforcement. Taking the time to truly hear someone's perspective in the first deal establishes trust and speeds up subsequent deals. It is essential to understand the other party's point of view and show empathy, as it promotes collaboration and builds stronger relationships.

Embrace the Challenge: Run to Trouble

01:04

Seek Guidance from the Experienced

01:18

Embrace Slow Thinking for Clarity

00:55

Intro

3min

From SWAT to Negotiator: A Journey of Learning and Empathy

11min

Navigating Hostage Negotiations

19min

The Art of Collaborative Negotiation and Listening

5min

Voices of Negotiation

19min

The Power of Mirroring in Negotiation

2min

Mastering Negotiation Skills

4min

Chris Voss is the former lead negotiator for the FBI, and the author of Never Split the Difference, a book about how to negotiate and how to get what you want from other people which has sold millions of copies worldwide. He has handled practically every high stakes crisis management scenario imaginable. What is unique about Chris’ technique is he emphasises seeing negotiation and deal making as a partnership, not a battle of wills. You only get what you want if you make an effort to understand what the other people really wants, and help them to understand what you want to. Making deals isn’t possible without a base of human-to-human connection.

In this conversation Chris opens up about a number of different type of dynamics we have to negotiate in our daily lives, from romantic relationships to friendships. We also get the inside scoop on what it’s like to handle some of the toughest situations, from bank robberies to hostage crises, anyone can imagine. What he learnt is that managing relations with other people is really about trying to help them, and all of us can do with a little of the help Chris brings us in this conversation.

Follow Chris:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thefbinegotiator

Chris’ book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-Depended/dp/1847941494

Books mentioned: Start with NO...The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don't Want You to Know - https://www.amazon.com/Start-Negotiating-Tools-that-Pros/dp/0609608002

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