Explain It to Me

A nation of jerks

24 snips
Sep 21, 2025
Join Allie Bolby, a Vox writer exploring the dynamics of relationships, as she dives into the alarming trend of rising rudeness in society. She’s joined by Jessica Lam Shapiro, author of Promise Land, who outlines the ups and downs of the self-help industry. Nedra Glover-Tawab, a licensed therapist, shares valuable insights on defining and maintaining healthy boundaries. Together, they question whether the quest for self-improvement could actually be making us more antisocial and offer practical tools for reconnecting.
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INSIGHT

Perceived Rudeness Is Not New

  • People feel rudeness is increasing, but defining rudeness is messy and generational complaints repeat.
  • Perceptions matter: searches for "is it rude" and expert questions keep rising over decades.
ANECDOTE

Loud Phones And Public Breaches

  • Allie recounts public annoyances like loud phones, people smoking on transit, and music played aloud.
  • These everyday examples illustrate behaviors listeners call rude in shared spaces.
INSIGHT

Stress Explains Much Of The Rise

  • Surveys show many people believe customer rudeness rose during the pandemic and after.
  • Stress, overwhelmed feelings, and newly created pandemic norms explain much of the increase.
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