The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast

You're Not Broken: An IFS Client's Story with Ronda Bonfanti

Nov 25, 2025

Ronda Bonfanti, a memoirist and healing advocate, shares her inspiring journey from CPTSD to self-love. She reveals how IFS transformed her understanding of her inner world, moving beyond the limitations of CBT. Ronda emphasizes the healing power of humor and journaling while discussing her memoir, which captures the intersections of her therapy experiences. She also dreams of creating an IFS community through 'Parts and Paddles,' blending healing with fun. Her story is a beacon of hope for anyone feeling broken.

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ANECDOTE

Trees As A Spiritual Anchor

Ronda talks to trees as a spiritual practice and feels held, safe, and connected to ancestors in nature.
Nature functions as a sustained source of grounding and unconditional comfort for her.

INSIGHT

Rituals Can Regulate The Nervous System

Ronda experiences hugging trees as reciprocal: she often senses permission and confirmation, which soothes her nervous system.
Small rituals that feel 'woo-woo' can nevertheless provide real containment and safety.

INSIGHT

Thoughts Come From Parts

Ronda realized CBT changed thoughts but didn't heal her nervous system because it didn't address which part held the belief.
Identifying the part behind a thought allows a different relationship to that thought and more lasting change.

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In this episode I talk with Ronda Bonfanti, an IFS client, memoirist, and self-described "IFS cheerleader," who reached out to me earlier this year to share her beautiful memoir, Talk to the Trees: From CPTSD to Loving Me.

Ronda has been on a healing journey for more than 25 years. She's done "all the therapies," read over 250 self-help books, and spent years trying to understand why she felt so broken inside, even though her life looked beautiful on the outside. When she found IFS, something finally clicked.

We explore:

Her early years in therapy and why CBT helped a little but never stuck
How discovering IFS gave her a whole new relationship with her inner world
Writing her memoir with the support of Frank Anderson and Lissa Rankin
The healing power of humor and why she sees it as medicine
Journaling as a doorway into parts work
What it means to write a letter to shame
Loneliness on the healing path, and her longing to build IFS-aligned community
Her dream to combine IFS and pickleball

She also reads one of my favorite chapters from her memoir — a hilarious, moving piece about her early days in therapy, banana splits, and her first meeting with Dr. Frank Anderson.

Ronda is one of those guests who reminds me why we do this work. Her story is tender, courageous, and full of hope. It's a perfect episode for a holiday week.

Learn more about Ronda here.

About The One Inside

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

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I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

Resources

New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.
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