The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast

Susan Stiffelman, a licensed marriage and family therapist and parenting coach, shares her insights on the complexities of parenting. She discusses the importance of staying connected to oneself, especially when faced with a child's distress. Stiffelman emphasizes that parenting should come from a calm center rather than reactive ‘hijacked’ parts. With anecdotes from her own life, she highlights the need for self-compassion and understanding one's emotions to foster healthier family dynamics. Tune in for practical wisdom and empowering strategies!

On today’s episode I meet Jessica Laurel Kane, a writer, illustrator, and storyteller whose new book, Once Upon an Upset: Illustrated Stories, Insights, and Reflections to Help Parent Our Children While Re-Parenting Ourselves, captures the spirit of Internal Family Systems in such an authentic and creative way.  Jessica isn’t formally trained in IFS, but she lives it and teaches it through her stories, illusrations, and books. She discovered IFS organically during a slient retreat and got to know her inner world by interviewing her parts--like characters in a story.  Her work shows how imagination can be a healing tool. She makes “being with your parts” feel accessible, visual, and real. This episode is about the power of healing through storytelling, and I think you’re going to love hearing Jessica tell hers.   Key Takeaways: “I treated myself the way I was treated.” Jessica describes how growing up with neglect led to internal self-neglect and how getting to know her parts shifted that pattern. How a 10-day silent retreat helped her meet the younger selves she’d been avoiding, and why she started interviewing them like characters in a story. “Only you get to say when you’ll give birth to your creative self.” Jessica shares how parts of us often hold the key to our creativity and our stuckness. Parenting as a mirror: how Jessica hears old internal voices while parenting her son, and how she learned to pause, check in, and choose a different path. “The glue is compassion.” A conversation about looping thoughts, panic attacks, and what it takes to rewire old stories with new ones. How her late mother planted the seeds for the parts work and self trust Jessica now uses to nurture herself and her son. Favorite Quote: "Sometimes I search desperately outside of myself for a place to rest and be still, forgetting that this place is inside of me."—Jessica Laurel Kane About Jessica Jessica Laurel Kane is the author of several books, most recently: Leaving Cleveland: A Memoir, The Boy with the Heavy Suitcase (a picture book) and Once Upon an Upset: Illustrated Stories, Insights and Reflections to Help Parent Our Children While Reparenting Ourselves. She lives in Upstate New York with her husband and son.  Episode Sponsor: Michelle Glass Whether you’re IFS-trained and supporting clients in medicine work or a psychedelic facilitator looking to integrate IFS, Michelle Glass offers courses designed to build confidence in preparation, journey, and integration. Courses include:  “Supporting Clients’ Psychedelic Journeys Utilizing IFS” or her 22-Hour “Comprehensive IFS Introduction for Psychedelic Facilitators.” Learn more at thelistenerllc.com   Upcoming Events: The Science of Calm free online summit April 21 - May 4, 2025 Self-Led Parenting: How Internal Family Systems Can Transform Your Family's Life - a course I'm leading with Susan Stiffelman on May 1, 2025    About The One Inside: Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more.  Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence. Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.  Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.   If you are interested in sponsoring an episode or two of The One Inside Podcast please contact Tammy at tammysollenberger@comcast.net

In this conversation, Irina Diyankova, a licensed psychologist and certified IFS therapist, dives into the intriguing interplay between neurodivergence and trauma. She shares insights on time blindness, sensory sensitivities, and the challenges of distinguishing hardwiring from unhealed trauma. Irina emphasizes that coping skills are not one-size-fits-all and that the journey toward healing can be complex and ongoing. Her warmth and personal experiences illuminate the need for a tailored approach in therapy, especially for neurodivergent clients.

On today’s podcast, I chat with Ashley Booth, a psychedelic-assisted psychotherapist, trainer, researcher—and former oceanographer! Ashley’s new book, Quieting the Storm Within: A Simple, Intuitive Guide to Your Inner World, is beautifully written and illustrated, accessible, and deeply rooted in IFS. We talk about why she chose to create a picture book for adults, how parts mapping can be playful and powerful, and how IFS and psychedelics both point us toward connection with our parts, with the natural world, and with something larger than ourselves. Ashley shares her journey from marine science to healing work, the grief that led her there, and the awe and Self Energy that keep her grounded in the work today. Key Takeaways: “IFS is such a visual model.” Ashley talks about why she chose to make a picture book for adults and how dyslexia, digital art, and parts mapping all played a role. What is the “parts unstack” exercise and how can it help externalize what’s happening inside? “All parts are either the steward of a need or trying to get that need met.” Ashley walks us through her reframing of protectors as helpers and the importance of naming needs with compassion. How her own psychedelic experiences influenced the metaphors in the book, and how IFS supports integration and meaning-making. “Self is the conduit.” Ashley shares how visual reminders, art, and little moments of awe can help us reconnect to Self Energy in everyday life. Favorite Quote: "We all need to be able to connect with the love and the compassion that's available to all of us that doesn't judge. And our parts need to be held by that, right? And our Self is the conduit for that to happen." – Ashley Booth About Ashley Booth Ashley Booth, LCSW, is a psychedelic-assisted psychotherapist, IFS practitioner, researcher, and educator. She’s the author of Quieting the Storm Within: A Simple, Intuitive Guide to Your Inner World, releasing in March 2025. Ashley is also the founder of IFS and Beyond, where she offers consultation, integration, and teaching at the intersection of Internal Family Systems and psychedelic therapy. A former oceanographer, Ashley brings deep curiosity and reverence for nature into her work, helping people reconnect with their inner and outer worlds. Learn more at ifsandbeyond.com or ashleybooth.net. Episode Sponsors: IFS Demoz  Curious what Internal Family Systems looks like in action? Join IFS Demoz, a live demonstration series led by IFS pioneer Mike Elkin. Each week, Mike takes on real-world challenges through one-on-one role play, modeling IFS techniques in real time. Whether you're new to IFS or a seasoned practitioner, these sessions offer powerful insights into how the model truly works. Each demo includes an open, inclusive Q&A—so bring your curiosity. Live sessions happen weekly on Zoom, and recordings are available to all registrants. Inner World Collective A supportive community can change everything when you're learning and applying the IFS model. The Collective is an online space for IFS therapists and practitioners to connect with like-minded professionals, build confidence, refine their skills, and feel truly supported as they bring IFS into their clinical work. Inside, you'll find expert consultation, supervised and peer-led practice groups, monthly guest speakers, recorded demos and demo groups, and Self-led workshops—all designed to help you flourish as an IFS practitioner.   About The One Inside: Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more.  Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence. Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.  Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.   If you are interested in sponsoring an episode or two of The One Inside Podcast please contact Tammy at tammysollenberger@comcast.net    

In this engaging discussion with Tanis Allen, a certified IFS therapist and author, listeners dive into her journey within the IFS community since the '90s. Tanis reveals insights from her new workbook designed to make IFS accessible, emphasizing how awareness marks the start of healing. She breaks down how to recognize and work with your internal parts, sharing her favorite transforming Four Drawing Exercise. With a focus on shared learning and personal reflection, this conversation offers invaluable tools for anyone interested in IFS.

In this engaging discussion, Crystal Jones, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and IFS Trainer, and Pam Krause, a Certified IFS Therapist and Senior Lead Trainer, delve into the evolution of the Internal Family Systems model. They share personal journeys, emphasizing cultural inclusivity and the evolving expression of Self Energy across different communities. The duo also debates the relevance of the 6 F's, providing fresh perspectives on their importance for newcomers. Their camaraderie and shared experiences highlight the power of mentorship in the therapeutic journey.

On today’s podcast we celebrate 200 episodes of The One Inside! I take the guest’s seat as my podcasting partner and co-producer, Jeff Schrum, leads the interview. We reflect on six seasons of guests, the show's impact on my life and work with clients, and why unblending is the real magic of IFS. We also dive into creative projects on the horizon, including my new mini-book on numbness and launching The One Inside Substack community.  Key Takeaways: Jeff and I talk about the fun behind the scenes of finding guests, editing interviews, creating show notes and graphics, and releasing an episode. My favorite part of the IFS model, and how I use it in my daily life. How six years of hosting this podcast has shaped not just my work, but my personal life and how I relate to my own parts. “Unblending is the hard part.” We get into why unblending is the heart of the IFS model, and how simply creating space between parts can be transformational. My controversial opinion on unburdenings. “There are a million reasons not to do the thing.” We talk about parts that hold us back from starting creative projects—whether it’s a podcast, book, or blog—and how to work with them. My likes and dislikes...like how I like unblending, and how I dislike when my parts won’t unblend. See also: maple syrup, apple cider, and movie theater popcorn.  "If I waited every other week to meet with my IFS therapist, IFS wouldn’t be in my bones. You have to be doing this every day. Even if it’s just small moments of awareness. That’s the work."   This episode is full of laughs, reflection, and some behind-the-scenes stories you haven’t heard before. I hope you enjoy it! Episode Sponsor: IFS Institute IFS Institute is now enrolling for the ALL-new IFS Online Circle program, a  6-month foundational course for professionals looking to provide an IFS lens to their practice.  This updated and enhanced program offers fresh insights, expanded demonstrations, and deeper experiential exercises, all led by two of the Institute's top trainers, Pam Krause and Crystal Jones. Take a sneak peak at The One Inside Substack community Check out The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is a writer, counselor, and IFS Level 2 practitioner.   Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.  Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.   If you are interested in sponsoring an episode or two of The One Inside Podcast please contact Tammy at tammysollenberger@comcast.net

On today’s podcast, I chat with Ruth Culver, a Level 3 trained and certified IFS practitioner. We look at Ruth’s Survive and Thrive Spiral, a visual map that connects the nervous system and IFS in a way that just makes sense. We also talk about her work with IFS Constellations, a group process that brings parts work into a shared, somatic experience, and Drawing into Self, a creative way to explore and externalize parts through colors, lines, and shapes. Key Takeaways: “Parts all have stories, don’t they?” Ruth explains how mapping parts onto her Survive and Thrive Spiral can help people unblend and understand their nervous system responses. How can we recognize if we’re in Flop, Fix, or Flow? Ruth introduces these simple but powerful words to track nervous system states and move toward Self Energy. We can be in multiple nervous system states at the same time.  Ruth describes how different parts may be in fixing mode, collapsing mode, or Self Energy mode—all at once. How does IFS Constellations allow for deeper healing? Ruth shares how this group process creates profound moments of witnessing, connection, and transformation. What happens when we let parts express themselves through drawing? Ruth walks us through Drawing into Self, a process that invites parts to communicate beyond words. Favorite Quote: "So, to me, the healing process is story-based, and it is imaginative. At the core of healing is a reimagining. And that’s what we can do with story." – Ruth Culver About Ruth:   Ruth Culver is a Level 3 trained & Certified IFS Practitioner based in Brighton UK, working with adolescents, adults and groups in private practice. After 25 years in charity event management, she burned out, re-trained as a hypnotherapist then found IFS in 2017. Her passion for embodiment and externalisation has led to 3 IFS integrations: 1. The Survive/Thrive Spiral: 2. IFS Constellations, and 3. Drawing into Self.    Episode Sponsor: Pisgah Coaching Institute   Check out The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is a writer, counselor, and IFS Level 2 practitioner.   Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.  Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.   If you are interested in sponsoring an episode or two of The One Inside Podcast please contact Tammy at tammysollenberger@comcast.net

In this conversation with Jodie Benveniste, an IFS-trained psychologist and author, storytelling emerges as a profound tool for self-discovery and healing. Jodie shares how her personal journey through IFS therapy enriched her fiction writing, particularly in her YA romance novel "Never, Not Ever." The discussion delves into the idea that characters mirror our inner selves, how fiction creates a safe space for transformation, and the heart-expanding nature of romance. Explore how narratives can reframe our experiences and foster emotional growth!

On today's episode, I'm joined by Lara Krawchuk, a grief expert and IFS certifed therapist, to explore how the Internal Family Systems model helps us understand and tend to grief. We discuss continuing bonds, meaning making, ambiguous loss, grief-worthy losses, and unbraiding current loss from exiled trauma. While I have parts that avoid thinking about and discussing grief, Lara offers such a hopeful perspective on the grieving process and I'm so excited to share this episode with you.  Key Takeaways: Grief is not about severing bonds, but shifting how we relate to them. Disenfranchised grief, like the end of a relationship or loss of health, is grief-worthy too. Grief invites us to explore the deeper meaning behind our losses and what they reveal about ourselves. Grief is both/and -- we are allowed to feel both grief and joy.  Welcoming grief, rather than trying to "move on," is crucial for healing. Turn towards grieving parts and allow them the space to be heard and honored. The importance of "unbraiding" exiled pain from present losses: "Does the part know this is different from the original Exile is has always protected?"  Continued bonds with those we've lost can be a profound source of comfort. Favorite Quote: "Self is not freaked out by grief. Self is an exquisite witness to all pain." — Lara Krawchuk About Lara: Lara Krawchuk is the owner and clinical director of Healing Concepts in West Chester, Pennsylvania, and the co-founder of Healing Perspectives, a continuing education resource for helping professionals looking to heal themselves, help their clients, and heal a broken-hearted world. She is an IFS certified therapist and consultant, a speaker, adjuct professor, and author with a passion for supporting those living with grief.    Check out The One inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is a writer, counselor, and IFS Level 1 practitioner.   Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.  Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.   If you are interested in sponsoring an episode or two of The One Inside Podcast please contact Tammy at tammysollenberger@comcast.net