Dr. Scott Lyons, a medical doctor and renowned trauma expert, joins the host to discuss the signs of being addicted to stress and drama. They explore the concept of internal revving, the impact of stress on relationships, and the importance of self-awareness. The chapter concludes with a reminder to protect your peace and eliminate unnecessary drama from your life.
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Quick takeaways
The addiction to drama stems from a need for distraction and a sense of being alive.
Dealing with someone addicted to drama requires recognizing what's happening in your own body and seeking validation and support from others.
Addiction to drama is similar to substance addictions and serves as a temporary relief from underlying pain or trauma.
Deep dives
Recognizing the Addiction to Drama
The addiction to drama is characterized by unnecessary turmoil, exaggeration, and intensification. It provides a sense of being alive and a distraction from underlying pain or trauma. Signs of addiction to drama include using extreme language, feeling anxious or bored when things are calm, gossiping, craving extreme situations, pulling people into crises, generalizing one bad situation, feeling more alive under pressure, and obsessively replaying scenarios. Internal experiences of addiction to drama include feelings of diminished control, pain, and wounding. Addiction to drama is contagious, and it often stems from childhood trauma or chaotic households.
Recognizing Drama in Relationships
When dealing with someone addicted to drama, it's important to first recognize what's happening in your own body and find grounding. Trying to force a change in the other person's behavior will only add fuel to the drama cycle. Instead, allow them to run their course while you seek validation and support from others. It's essential to create boundaries and focus on your own sense of peace. You can engage with them by empathetically recognizing the underlying feelings and unmet needs that drive the drama.
Understanding Drama as an Addiction
Drama addiction shares characteristics with substance addictions, such as tolerance, withdrawal symptoms, disregard for social consequences, and occupying excessive energy and attention. Tolerance to drama involves needing more intense situations to feel more alive. Withdrawal symptoms include anxiety and boredom, leading to a craving for stimulating experiences. Drama serves as a pain reliever, distraction, and energy boost. Engaging in stress-induced activities helps individuals temporarily avoid underlying pain or trauma. Acknowledging and addressing the addiction to drama can lead to a greater sense of peace and fulfillment.
Recognizing the Addiction to Drama
Addiction to drama can manifest in various ways, such as seeking attention, wanting to be seen but not feeling seen, and constantly running away from deep-rooted trauma. Drama addiction often stems from childhood experiences of not being heard or seen, leading to disconnection from oneself and a reliance on external validation. Being addicted to drama creates a constant sense of urgency, disproportionate emotional responses, and a hyper-vigilant focus on potential dangers. Recognizing and acknowledging one's addiction to drama is the first step towards breaking free from it and finding a healthier way to cope.
Breaking Free from Drama Addiction
To overcome addiction to drama, it is essential to build awareness, acceptance, and agency over one's responses. This process involves creating boundaries, choosing words wisely to avoid intensifying situations, forgiving oneself for past actions, and taking responsibility for personal change. Breaking free from drama addiction requires building resilience, being attuned to the signals that rev up one's emotions, and practicing discernment in media consumption. By finding peace within oneself and refusing to participate in others' drama, one can cultivate healthier relationships and discover a more adaptive way of navigating life.
I was talking sh*t about my daughter and got caught red-handed. Talk about unnecessary drama.
We've all been there. And according to today’s expert, this type of conflict is causing more stress than you think.
Today, I am joined by Dr. Scott Lyons, a medical doctor, holistic psychologist, and renowned body-based trauma expert. He says there are 6 telltale signs that you’re addicted to stress.
I never considered myself to be a person who is addicted to stress until this conversation.
Dr. Lyons is certified in more healing modalities than you want me to list and has even created his own body-based trauma therapy called Somatic Stress Release™, taught in over 20 countries.
You and I are digging into the fascinating science, research, and psychology of stress. And more importantly, you are going to get the tools you need to remove it from your life.
Dr. Lyons will explain why we keep ourselves on edge, why we find ourselves picking fights, gossiping, zombie scrolling, and staying in relationships where drama is present.
This is a cycle you need to break. It’s time you slow down and learn:
The shocking ways you are addicted to stress.
How to deal with drama-addicted friends and significant others.
What zombie scrolling, zoning out in front of the TV, and always being on the go say about you.
What it means when you always need to be the center of attention.
What “revving” is and why you need to stop doing it today.
The 3 ways to break free from a stress addiction.
If you’ve read this far, it means you want to feel less stress. I want that for you, too.
That’s why I can’t wait for you to listen and learn how to remove all the unnecessary drama from your life.
Xo, Mel
In this episode, you’ll learn:
3:28: What exactly does it mean to be ‘addicted to drama’?
4:56: Here are the 9 external signs you might be addicted to drama.
5:00: If you use these 6 words, you might be addicted to drama.
5:15: Do you feel these two emotions when things are calm?
5:30: Gossiping is a double-edged sword
8:23: How addicts feel inside vs. how they seem to others
10:26: What is a revving reflex?
11:10: Whoa. I had a major lightbulb moment here.
11:50: Addiction to drama is really an expression of trauma.
12:57: Mic drop: We chase our drama to avoid our traumas.
15:15: How we are reclaiming this word ‘drama’.
16:00: The 3 ways drama feels good.
16:12: What is drama exactly?
20:15: Dr. Scott begins to share his own vulnerable story.
21:20: Are you ‘drama bonding’?
23:50: This is why hurt people can’t let go of drama.
27:35: What is dissociation?
28:20: Do these signs feel familiar in your own life?
36:55: Examples of childhood traumas that can create drama addiction.
37:50: Here’s what we did so that our kids felt abandoned.
43:25: How to be in a healthy relationship with someone like this.
48:15: Do this so you don’t get involved in their drama cycle.
51:40: One surprising sign of dissociated tolerance I bet you’ll recognize.
54:00: How the heck does stress give you pain relief?
1:00:20: How do you create boundaries around controlling children?
1:06:22: Here are 4 ways to take control and end the drama addiction.