

112: Why Emotional Unavailability Feels Safe: Understanding the 'Not Enough' Wound With Vanessa Bennett
74 snips Dec 10, 2024
In this engaging chat, Vanessa Bennett, a holistic psychotherapist and author, sheds light on the impactful 'not enough' wound related to emotional unavailability. She and Sabrina explore how hyper-independence and codependency are intertwined, and discuss cultivating interdependence for healthier relationships. They emphasize the importance of self-awareness, setting boundaries, and the role of communication in intimacy. With personal anecdotes and insights, they encourage listeners to embrace their healing journeys with compassion and intentionality.
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Societal Roots of Not Enoughness
- The "not enough" wound stems from a societal system designed to make individuals feel inadequate.
- This system perpetuates capitalism by encouraging external validation and consumption.
Hyper-Independence vs. Codependency
- Hyper-independence and codependency are two sides of the same coin, both rooted in a worthiness wound.
- Hyper-independence manifests as avoidance and shutting people out, while codependency seeks external validation.
Building Interdependence
- To move towards interdependence, heal your codependent wounding and build trust in yourself.
- Recognize when you seek external validation and focus on self-regulation.