High Achiever to Anxious Mom - Leonie Akhidenor [513]
Oct 29, 2024
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Leonie Akhidenor, a parenting guru and certified relationship coach, shares her journey from high-achiever to anxious mother. She highlights how childhood experiences shape mental health and parenting dynamics. Leonie discusses the pressures of immigrant upbringing and challenges in managing nearly perfect expectations. The conversation touches on postnatal anxiety, urging open communication in relationships. Embracing imperfection and mindfulness in parenting is emphasized, encouraging parents to prioritize self-care and foster joyful family connections.
High-achieving childhood experiences can lead to persistent anxiety in adulthood, especially when navigating significant life changes like parenthood.
The transition to parenthood can intensify couple dynamics and require open communication to prevent resentment and maintain relationship health.
Implementing self-care practices, even in small ways, is vital for parents to enhance their well-being and positively influence their children.
Deep dives
The Impact of Childhood Experiences on Mental Health
Childhood experiences, particularly those shaped by high expectations, can have a profound effect on mental health in adulthood. In the case of the guest, being raised in a high-achieving environment led to the development of anxiety, which became more pronounced during pregnancy. The need for constant achievement and conditional love from parents created a foundation for anxiety that persisted into adulthood. The discussion highlights how the pressures of upbringing can resurface during significant life changes, such as becoming a parent.
Navigating Prenatal and Postnatal Mental Health
Pregnancy can trigger underlying mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, that individuals may not have recognized previously. The guest experienced a notable exacerbation of anxiety during her pregnancies, leading to prenatal depression. Despite initially normalizing her feelings of anxiety, external observations from loved ones prompted her to seek help. Adopting talk therapy provided practical strategies that helped her manage her mental health, emphasizing the importance of seeking support through difficult times.
Relationship Dynamics and Parenting
The shift to parenthood can strain couple dynamics, often leading to implicit resentment if not managed properly. The guest detailed how traditional roles can create an imbalance, where one partner feels tied to the home while the other is perceived to have more freedom. This imbalance can lead to behaviors such as tit for tat, where couples keep score on who is more burdened by parenting responsibilities. Addressing these dynamics involves open communication and equitable sharing of responsibilities, crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship post-childbirth.
The Importance of Self-Care for Parents
Self-care is essential for parents to maintain their well-being while meeting the demands of raising children. The guest emphasized the value of identifying small practices that bring joy and fulfillment, even in short time frames. Activities such as reading, enjoying nature, or connecting with friends can significantly impact emotional health. Establishing even brief moments for self-care allows parents to recharge, ultimately benefiting their families by fostering a positive and balanced environment.
Raising Children with Awareness and Respect
The conversation explored the challenges of parenting children in a diverse and evolving society, particularly regarding issues of privilege and respect. The guest aims to ensure that her biracial children grow up understanding equality, respect, and the importance of challenging societal norms. Discussions around gender roles are intentional, emphasizing that activities and interests should not be confined by traditional expectations. This approach not only combats discrimination but also prepares children to navigate a diverse world with empathy and understanding.
Were you raised to be a high-achieving, straight-A kind of kid? If so, like Hunter’s podcast guest, Leonie Akhidenor, it may correlate with anxious times as a parent—wanting to get it all “right.” Hunter and Leonie talk about how childhood experiences impact our mental states, couple dynamics and more in this wide-ranging episode.
ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is the host Mindful Parenting Podcast (Top 0.5% podcast ), global speaker, number 1 bestselling author of “Raising Good Humans” and “Raising Good Humans Every Day,” Mindfulness Meditation teacher and creator of the Mindful Parenting Course and Teacher Training.
Find more podcasts, Hunter’s books, blog posts, free resources, and more at MindfulMamaMentor.com.