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Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal
The Science Behind Why Relationships Last Or Fail - Drs John & Julie Gottman
Feb 16, 2023
Explore the secrets to lasting love with insights from the Gottmans, who reveal the four main reasons relationships fail. Discover how emotional dynamics and effective communication can transform conflict into connection. Learn about the 'four horsemen' and strategies to manage them, emphasizing empathy and emotional understanding. The conversation also highlights the significance of creating rituals and conducting relationship reviews to deepen intimacy, alongside their latest book offering a seven-day action plan for nurturing relationships.
01:29:46
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Quick takeaways
- Take breaks during overwhelming conversations to communicate effectively and understand each other's perspectives.
- Identify and address destructive patterns like criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling for a healthy relationship.
Deep dives
The Importance of Emotional Safety and Breaks in Communication
In a successful couple, when one partner senses they are becoming overwhelmed or flooded during a conversation, they take a break and specify when they will resume the conversation. This allows them to come back to the discussion when they are calmer and ready to communicate effectively. By doing so, the conversation can be transformed, and they can better understand each other's experiences and perspectives.
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