The Psychology of your 20s 238. High functioning codependency and caring too much ft. Terri Cole
33 snips
Oct 11, 2024 
Terri Cole, a psychotherapist and boundary expert, dives deep into high-functioning codependency, a phenomenon often seen in overachievers and people-pleasers. She unpacks how caring too much can strain relationships and mask underlying control issues. Terri shares personal stories from her journey and emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries. The conversation also touches on familial dynamics and the emotional toll of managing expectations, urging listeners to prioritize self-care and foster healthier connections.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Codependency Misconceptions
- Codependency is often misunderstood and misrepresented in self-help.
- It's not just about enabling alcoholics; it can manifest as overgiving and over-functioning, even in high-achieving individuals.
High-Functioning Codependency
- Traditional codependency definitions didn't resonate with Terry Cole's high-achieving clients.
- She coined "high-functioning codependency" to describe over-investment in others' feelings and outcomes, at the expense of one's own peace.
Auto-Accommodating
- Terry Cole describes an experience at a hair salon where her anxiety stemmed from feeling responsible for others' convenience.
- This "auto-accommodating" tendency reflects a compulsion to fix perceived needs in one's environment.
