"Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go: A Modern Guide to Navigating Loss" by Gina Moffa
Jan 23, 2024
17:52
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Psychotherapist Gina Moffa discusses the art of losing and her book 'Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go,' providing a map through the hinterlands of loss. Topics include understanding the impacts of non-death losses, the traumatizing nature of loss, the rhythms of grief, and the importance of self-compassion.
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Quick takeaways
Acknowledge that all types of loss deserve recognition and allow yourself to grieve, not just death losses.
Recognize that grief is a full-body experience, impacting both the mind and the physical body, and prioritize self-care to navigate through it.
Deep dives
Granting ourselves compassion in times of grief
When we experience loss, it is important to remember that we do not have to beat ourselves up or withhold our needs. Granting ourselves compassion and kindness is the antidote to feeling weak, frustrated, or impatient. While society tends to prioritize grieving death losses, it is essential to acknowledge that any loss can be deeply painful. Whether it's the end of a friendship, a bad breakup, or the loss of dreams and relationships, it all deserves recognition and tender witnessing. By disregarding non-death grief, we only prolong and magnify its impact on our well-being and relationships. Taking the time to pause, feel, and grieve allows us to clean out the wounds and move forward.
Understanding the physical impact of grief
Grief is not just an emotional response to loss; it is a full-body experience. The mind-body connection is undeniable, and grief can manifest physically in various ways. Our bodies may struggle with sleep, experience unexplained pain, muscle aches, digestive issues, headaches, and lowered immune response. Grief also increases inflammation in the body, potentially exacerbating existing health conditions. It is crucial to listen to our bodies and provide them with the care and attention they need. Recognizing the physical endurance grief requires is essential, as it reshapes our understanding of healing and self-care in a fast-paced society.
Loss and trauma: A deeper look
Loss, even if not traumatic, has the potential to be traumatizing. It challenges our perception of ourselves and the world around us. Various factors contribute to the extent of trauma experienced, including the type of loss, attachment to the loss, a history of PTSD or traumatic loss, weaker coping skills, and anxiety. Understanding our unique grief rhythms can provide a sense of normalcy and safety, allowing us to lean into the grieving experience. Self-compassion is crucial in navigating the dark abyss of grief, as we often judge and alienate ourselves. Granting ourselves tenderness, kindness, and curiosity can help alleviate the emotional burdens of loss and cultivate a healthier grieving process.
"The art of losing isn't hard to master," Elizabeth Bishop wrote in her poem "One Art." Psychotherapist Gina Moffa agrees. In her new book, "Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go," Gina offers an easy-to-follow map through the hinterlands of loss.
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