Explore the freeing reframe of guilt with insights from a parenting expert. Distinguish between true guilt and societal pressure, especially in parenting. Discover how personal values can collide with expectations, creating emotional tension. Learn the importance of self-acceptance and setting healthy emotional boundaries. Unpack the complexities of women’s health and how boundaries can enhance well-being. Finally, dive into redefining guilt in relationships for deeper connections and a more authentic life.
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Quick takeaways
The distinction between true guilt and discomfort from cultural expectations encourages individuals to redefine their feelings and align them with personal values.
Setting and maintaining boundaries is essential for personal well-being, helping individuals resist internalizing others' negative responses and fostering genuine empathy.
Deep dives
Finding the Right Therapist
The episode highlights the challenges many face when searching for a therapist, such as navigating numerous options and understanding different therapeutic approaches. The platform discussed simplifies this process by allowing users to browse directories without the need for creating an account or sharing payment details. Users can filter their search based on specific concerns like anxiety or relationships, ensuring they find a therapist who meets their needs. Additionally, over 95% of therapists on this platform accept various insurance plans, and potential clients can schedule free consultation calls to assess compatibility.
Understanding Guilt vs. Not Guilt
The concept of guilt is explored, emphasizing that true guilt arises when one acts outside of their core values. Through relatable examples, such as parenting scenarios, the discussion clarifies the difference between guilt and what is termed 'not guilt,' the latter representing discomfort stemming from cultural expectations rather than personal values. For instance, going out with friends while a child protests does not necessarily constitute guilt if one values friendships and personal time. This distinction encourages individuals to redefine their feelings and to evaluate how often they mislabel discomfort as guilt.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries
Setting and maintaining boundaries is a prominent theme, illustrating that the hardest part of boundary-setting is not making them but holding firm to them. When someone reacts negatively to a boundary, individuals tend to internalize those feelings, disrupting their peace and potentially leading to guilt. By practicing resilience, one can recognize that the discomfort felt when setting a boundary is not guilt but instead a response to the disapproval of others. The episode stresses that maintaining boundaries is crucial for not only personal well-being but also for fostering genuine empathy towards others.
Building Resilience in Decision-Making
The discussion includes techniques for determining the alignment of decisions with personal values amidst conflicting expectations. It emphasizes using feelings of resentment as a guide to assess whether choices are genuinely fulfilling one's values or simply fulfilling others' expectations. Questioning the need for approval from others can help in weighing the priorities of different values. Ultimately, recognizing and embracing one’s values can lead to better decision-making that ensures personal integrity while managing external pressures.
Glennon, Abby, and Amanda help us shed guilt through a freeing reframe inspired by a conversation with Dr. Becky Kennedy.
Listen to learn: How to know what is true guilt and what is just the uncomfortable ickiness of defying expectations; how to hold boundaries in order to live shamelessly within our own values; and how to maintain empathy by staying with our own emotions instead of internalizing the emotions of others.
Also, we need your help inventing a word for the “not guilt” feeling!
Get Dr. Becky Kennedy's "Good Inside Guilt Guide," to find out if what you're feeling is truly "guilt" or something else, here: https://forms.gle/Aad1g5LSBNFZoXaN6.
Check out our past conversations with Dr. Becky Kennedy, and the Dr. Brené Brown episodes we talk about today: