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#409: Brené Brown — Striving versus Self-Acceptance, Saving Marriages, and More

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Feb 6, 2020

Guest

Brené Brown

Brené Brown, a research professor and bestselling author, dives into the complexities of courage, vulnerability, and self-acceptance. She reflects on the emotional armor we build during personal crises like divorce and the importance of confronting our feelings. Through candid anecdotes, she discusses balancing authenticity with public scrutiny and the power of real connections. Brené emphasizes valuing ordinary moments amidst life’s struggles and encourages pursuing passions over societal expectations, all while embracing our imperfections.

01:27:30

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ANECDOTE

Photoshoot Insecurity

Brené Brown shares her experience of feeling insecure during a photoshoot, despite her self-acceptance.
This highlights the societal pressure to chase extraordinary moments instead of appreciating ordinary ones.

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ADVICE

Balancing Striving and Self-Acceptance

Make room for both striving and self-acceptance.
Schedule specific practices for self-acceptance, like gratitude journaling, to counterbalance achievement focus.

insights

INSIGHT

Types of Self-Acceptance

There are different types of self-acceptance, some healthy and some not.
Complacent self-acceptance avoids change, while true self-acceptance acknowledges current experience truthfully.

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Exploring Courage and Vulnerability in Relationships

03:50 • 3min

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Authenticity in Connection

06:45 • 5min

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Navigating Fame and Self-Acceptance

11:21 • 29min

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Confronting Emotional Armor

40:27 • 21min

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Pursuing Passion Over Expectations

01:01:43 • 16min

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Embracing Routine and Authenticity

01:18:12 • 4min

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Humor, Excitement, and Personalized Sleep Solutions

01:22:10 • 3min

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Maximizing Your Online Experience with Brave

01:25:31 • 3min

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#1776

• Mentioned in 23 episodes

Braving the wilderness

The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

Brené Brown

In 'Braving the Wilderness', Brené Brown redefines what it means to truly belong in an age of increased polarization. She argues that we are experiencing a spiritual crisis of disconnection and introduces four practices of true belonging that challenge common notions about belonging. Brown emphasizes that true belonging requires believing in and belonging to oneself fully, finding sacredness in both being part of something and standing alone when necessary. The book is a mix of research, storytelling, and honesty, offering a clear path to true belonging and encouraging readers to brave the wilderness of uncertainty and criticism with integrity and authenticity.

#347

• Mentioned in 74 episodes

Daring Greatly

How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Brené Brown

In 'Daring Greatly,' Brené Brown delves into the topics of vulnerability, shame, and courage. The book, inspired by a quote from Theodore Roosevelt's 'Citizenship in a Republic' speech, argues that vulnerability is essential for living a wholehearted life. Brown discusses how vulnerability is often misunderstood as weakness, but it is actually a sign of courage. She provides insights from her research on how vulnerability affects men and women differently and offers practical advice on overcoming shame and embracing vulnerability in personal and professional life. The book emphasizes the importance of connection, shame resilience, and the distinction between guilt and shame.

#735

• Mentioned in 44 episodes

Radical acceptance

Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Tara Brach

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach offers a transformative practice to help readers overcome habitual feelings of deficiency and better relate to their experiences and emotions. The book emphasizes two key pillars: observing one's experience clearly and responding with compassion. Through personal stories, case histories from her clinical psychology practice, and guided meditations, Brach provides practical guidance on mindfulness, compassion, and acceptance. The book helps readers stop being at war with themselves and live fully in every moment, addressing issues such as self-judgments, conflicts, addictions, and perfectionism. It also clarifies that Radical Acceptance does not mean self-indulgence or passivity but rather empowers genuine change and healing.

#3566

• Mentioned in 12 episodes

Rising strong

Brené Brown

In 'Rising Strong,' Brené Brown introduces a three-step process to help individuals recover from failures and setbacks. The process includes **The Reckoning**, where one recognizes and becomes curious about their emotions; **The Rumble**, where one gets honest about the stories they tell themselves and challenges these narratives; and **The Revolution**, where one integrates the learnings from the previous steps to create positive changes in their life. Brown's research, based on interviews with various individuals including leaders, artists, and parents, emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, courage, and wholehearted living. The book aims to help readers transform their lives by embracing their stories and learning from their struggles.

#18

• Mentioned in 384 episodes

The Body Keeps the Score

Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk

In this book, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma reshapes both the body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores various treatments, including neurofeedback, meditation, sports, drama, and yoga, which activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity to aid in recovery. The book emphasizes the power of relationships in both causing and healing trauma and offers hope through descriptions of novel approaches to treatment. It is based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists in the field.

#727

• Mentioned in 44 episodes

Dare to lead

Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.

Brené Brown

In 'Dare to Lead', Brené Brown provides a roadmap for leaders to build trust and foster a culture of courage and vulnerability. The book emphasizes that leadership is not about titles or power, but about recognizing and developing the potential in people and ideas. Brown introduces the 'BRAVING' framework (Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, Generosity) to build and maintain trust. She also highlights the importance of embracing vulnerability, having tough conversations, and aligning actions with shared values. The book is based on her research with global leaders and offers practical advice on developing empathy, resilience, and courageous leadership skills.

#4633

• Mentioned in 10 episodes

Already Free

Jeff Warren

Jeff Warren is associated with mindfulness and meditation, but specific details about 'Already Free' are not available.

#746

• Mentioned in 43 episodes

The gifts of imperfection

Brené Brown

In this book, Brené Brown shares her research on the power of wholehearted living, a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness. She outlines ten guideposts to help readers cultivate courage, compassion, and connection. Brown emphasizes the importance of recognizing and overcoming shame, fear, and vulnerability, and instead embracing authenticity and self-love. The book is designed to help readers move away from perfectionism and towards a more authentic and fulfilling life.

"We chase extraordinary moments instead of being grateful for ordinary moments until hard shit happens. And then in the face of really hard stuff — illness, death, loss — the only thing we're begging for is a normal moment." — Brené Brown

Dr. Brené Brown (@BreneBrown) is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership. Brené hosts the Unlocking Us podcast, and her TED talk -- The Power of Vulnerability -- is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 45 million views. She is also the first researcher to have a filmed lecture on Netflix. The Call to Courage special debuted on the streaming service on April 19, 2019.

Please enjoy Brené's return to the show!

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