back from the borderline
mollie adler
I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of 'disorder' or 'dysfunction', but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner psychological brink we all experience. Everyone has found themselves on the edge, in that liminal space where the old self falls apart and the new Self emerges. Here, we explore what it means to undergo true emotional alchemy: that ancient and primordial process of falling apart, confronting the underworld of our psyche, and falling back together into someone stronger, wiser, and more whole.Many highly sensitive people who identify with the seemingly never-ending list of diagnostic mental health labels contained within ‘the bible of psychiatry’ (the DSM) share the same underlying sense of being irreparably broken, disconnected from their intuition, and paralyzed by life’s existential questions. I believe the resulting—and perfectly understandable—chronic feelings of emptiness and spiritual starvation are the TRUE causes of our current collective ‘mental health crisis.’Together, we’ll dive into depth psychology, mythology, human consciousness, critical psychiatry, and the impact of trauma to help you begin the process of emotional alchemy. This exploration will help you get to the root cause of your suffering and free yourself from the toxic shame, limiting beliefs, and mental programming that have kept you locked in the chains of your past.In an era where mental health and spirituality are too often commercialized, I’m not here as a guru with a quick fix to sell you. I don’t believe anyone is ever truly ‘healed’ or ‘cured.’ There is no return to some mythical state of pre-trauma purity, but rather a continuous spiral of unbecoming, unlearning, and transformation. As a fellow seeker, I will be there in your ear, walking alongside you on your path toward wholeness as a sort of parasocial big sister. That, I can promise.By integrating the concepts we explore together, you’ll begin to see that anyone—even you—can come back from the borderline.CRAVING MORE? Visit backfromtheborderline.com to dive into my universe, connect with me, access my Patreon, and discover more about my journey and work. Don’t forget to follow Back from the Borderline so new episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays automatically drop into your podcast feed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jan 17, 2023 • 1h 24min
overcoming executive dysfunction: "why can't i just do the thing?!"
Struggling to stay organized, follow through on plans, or keep your emotions in check? You’re not alone. Many people face challenges with executive functioning—a set of mental skills that can impact everything from daily routines to long-term goals. In this episode, we’re breaking down what executive dysfunction really is, especially as it relates to ADHD and emotion regulation. We’ll dive into why executive dysfunction occurs, how it might show up in everyday life, and, importantly, practical strategies for managing it. Through fresh insights into how childhood development shapes executive skills and reflections on Gabor Maté’s perspectives on ADHD, this conversation is all about understanding the “why” behind these struggles and finding realistic steps to move forward.Listen in to learn about:The basics of executive functions and what happens when they’re disruptedSigns and causes of executive dysfunction (and how to recognize them in yourself)Real-life impacts of executive dysfunction on focus, planning, and emotional regulationHow childhood experiences and ADHD influence executive skillsPractical tools and strategies for building up your executive functioning over timeThis episode offers a compassionate look at executive dysfunction that goes beyond labels. Tune in to discover tools and insights that can help you create a more balanced, fulfilling life.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 10, 2023 • 1h 33min
mental illness is not in your head: evolving beyond the medical model in recovery
In this episode, we’re taking a hard look at the medical model of mental health—a framework that focuses on diagnosis and medication but often falls short in addressing the true complexities of human suffering. Despite decades of research, psychiatrist and medical historian Dr. Marcos Ramos argues in his article “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” that traditional psychiatry has made little progress in diagnosing or treating mental health conditions. He suggests a radical shift in perspective: looking beyond the brain to societal, environmental, and psychological factors as essential elements in understanding and healing mental and physical health. We’ll explore how the medical model often overlooks the root causes of distress, and why it’s crucial to consider a more holistic approach to treatment. This episode invites listeners to question conventional psychiatry and embrace a broader perspective on mental health—one that considers trauma, social structures, and emotional well-being as integral parts of healing.Topics discussed include:The limitations of the medical model in treating mental health conditionsWhy mental health diagnosis and treatment may not have advanced as much as we thinkThe importance of addressing environmental, social, and psychological factors for more effective carePractical ways to advocate for yourself and loved ones in a system often focused on labels and medicationThis episode aims to inform and empower, arming you with knowledge to navigate the mental health system with greater confidence—and perhaps even to challenge the status quo in pursuit of true healing.Recommended resources: ■ Full article from the Boston Review – “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” by Marco Ramos■ Follow Marcos on Twitter (@mramos_histmed) Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 3, 2023 • 1h 19min
how scott broke the cycle of generational family trauma while parenting with emotion dysregulation
In this powerful episode, I’m joined by 67-year-old Scott Schaeffer, whose journey through trauma, self-discovery, and resilience is one of the most impactful stories I've shared on the podcast. Scott’s life was shaped by severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father, along with the struggle of growing up in a household where his mother couldn’t protect him or his siblings. Despite these challenges, Scott cultivated a strong, healthy marriage and chose to break the cycle of trauma in raising his daughter. With the guidance of a supportive psychotherapist, he began to identify with traits commonly associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD), which brought both clarity and healing.Scott’s story is a testament to the power of self-awareness, the importance of emotional resilience, and the possibility of breaking generational trauma patterns. Whether you’re navigating family trauma, emotion dysregulation, or validation addiction, Scott’s insights and experiences will resonate deeply and offer hope.In this episode, we explore:Scott’s path to realizing he needed help and how finding language for his experiences brought empowermentThe impact of BPD traits, like “splitting” (black-and-white thinking), on relationshipsHow validation addiction or approval-seeking can keep us stuck in self-destructive cyclesThe role of childhood trauma and abuse in shaping BPD traits and emotional sensitivityHow Scott overcame the cycle of generational trauma in his own familyWhy men, especially cis-gendered heterosexual males, are less frequently diagnosed with BPD and how the medical model overlooks themThis episode is for anyone seeking to understand their own behaviors, heal from past traumas, or simply find encouragement in another’s resilience. Scott’s story shows that no matter your age or past experiences, it’s possible to find meaning, self-compassion, and peace. Connect with Scott at https://www.usadogbehavior.com/.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 27, 2022 • 47min
understanding the different models of mental health can help you find a helpful therapist (and avoid harmful ones)
To truly advocate for yourself in mental health treatment, it’s crucial to understand the different frameworks that shape how mental health is approached and treated. The dominant view in Western mental health care, known as the medical model, seeks to pathologize emotional experiences, attributing symptoms to “disorders” or supposed chemical imbalances in the brain. But here’s the catch: the medical model is just one theory, and it’s not without its critics. In this episode, we examine alternative perspectives on mental health, including the trauma-informed approach, which many believe offers a more compassionate and effective way of addressing psychological suffering.We’ll break down the four major models shaping today’s mental health landscape:The Medical Model: The traditional view, focused on diagnosing “disorders” and treating symptoms, often through medication.The Social Model: Emphasizing the role of societal structures and environments in mental health.The Biopsychosocial Model: Integrating biological, psychological, and social factors to understand mental well-being.The Trauma-Informed Model: A growing framework that views emotional distress as a response to trauma rather than a “disorder.”By exploring and critiquing each of these perspectives, you’ll gain insight into why you may have felt disconnected or even disheartened by certain mental health treatments. This episode aims to empower you with knowledge so you can make informed choices and advocate for a therapeutic approach that aligns with your needs and experiences.Listen in to learn:How different mental health models impact treatment outcomesWhy the trauma-informed model is gaining traction as a humane approach to mental healthWhat questions to ask your mental health provider to ensure your care aligns with your valuesThis episode will leave you better equipped to navigate the complexities of mental health care and reclaim your voice in your own healing journey. Recommended resources:■ Article by Mad in America | “Researchers Critique the Medical Model”■ YouTube video by Dr. James Davies | Mental Health, Capitalism & the Sedation of a Nation Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dec 20, 2022 • 50min
what to do when you finally wake up to the pain you've caused the people you love
What do you do when you realize you’ve hurt the people you love? In this episode, I respond to a listener’s voicemail about the deep guilt that follows an episode of emotional dysregulation, where she “lost it” with close friends who haven’t spoken to her since. These moments—the ones where we realize, “I might be the problem”—can be some of the hardest to face on the path to healing. But they’re also powerful opportunities for self-reflection and growth. We’ll explore why emotional “blow-ups” don’t mean you’re back at square one and how moments of self-awareness can actually move us forward. This episode delves into the importance of atonement in relationships, providing steps for repairing the harm we’ve caused, as well as tools for forgiving ourselves.Topics covered include:Recognizing signs that we may be hurting others in our relationshipsHow to take accountability without wallowing in shame or self-hatredFinding the root causes behind emotional outbursts and self-sabotaging behaviorsSteps for making amends and offering genuine apologiesPracticing healthier behaviors as part of your ongoing healing journeyReal strategies for self-forgiveness and moving forward after a mistakeThis episode is a guide for anyone grappling with guilt and self-doubt in their relationships, offering insights on breaking free from cycles of emotional harm and nurturing healthier connections.Recommended resources:■ Article by Jim Tolles | “7 steps to Atoning for Pain You’ve Caused Another”■ TedTalk by Kristin Neff | “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion”■ YouTube video with Lisa Romano | “Verbal Abuse in Relationships” Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
5 snips
Dec 6, 2022 • 1h 14min
when your emotional dysregulation makes it hard to hold down a job
Navigating the workplace can be an overwhelming experience, especially for those managing symptoms related to trauma recovery. Many individuals who resonate with the symptoms of various disorder/dysfunction labels are highly sensitive, intuitive, creative, and often find traditional job environments triggering or draining. In this episode, we explore the common workplace struggles faced by people on a trauma healing journey, from difficulties with job stability to feeling trapped in roles that suppress creativity.We’ll talk about practical strategies for coping with workplace stress, handling emotional triggers, and managing job-related anxiety. This episode also offers guidance on finding meaningful work that aligns with your passions, rather than settling for roles that bring discontentment and emotional strain. If you feel caught in a cycle of jumping from job to job or repeating self-sabotaging patterns at work, this episode will provide insights and tools to help you shift toward a career path that feels fulfilling and sustainable.In this episode, we cover:Common challenges and emotional triggers in the workplace for trauma survivorsPractical steps for managing job-related anxiety and stressHow to create boundaries that support mental health in professional settingsTips on moving from jobs you hate to meaningful work that aligns with your valuesThis episode is for anyone struggling with workplace dynamics while healing, offering hope and actionable steps to find a job that truly resonates with who you are.Resources mentioned:■ Essay by Paul Graham: “How To Do What You Love”■ Twitter thread by Billy Oppenheimer: “12 habits and principles for doing your best creative work”■ Book by Elizabeth Gilbert: “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Nov 29, 2022 • 1h 2min
transforming and healing your intimacy issues (ft. zaz)
In this episode, my incredible partner Zaz is back to help tackle your pressing questions on love, intimacy, and the realities of building healthy relationships. Together, we’re diving into the complex dynamics that shape romantic connections, from understanding emotional abuse to breaking free from obsessive thoughts about a new crush. This conversation covers the importance of uncovering your core values, how delaying intimacy can strengthen a relationship, and the role unhealed emotional struggles play in partnership dynamics. Whether you’re exploring a new relationship or deepening a long-term connection, this episode offers insights to help you navigate the often-complicated world of love and connection with greater awareness and intention.Topics discussed include:Recognizing signs of verbal and emotional abuse in intimate relationshipsStrategies for breaking cycles of emotional harm—and addressing the shame that often arisesHow identifying your core values can help you overcome identity issues and strengthen partnershipsPractical advice on managing emotion dysregulation to support healthier relationship dynamicsThis episode is for anyone seeking to build a mindful, values-driven relationship or break free from the patterns that keep them stuck.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Nov 22, 2022 • 38min
transcending the self: the importance of gaining a higher perspective in your recovery journey
In this episode, we explore the profound sense of spiritual starvation that so many of us grapple with—a feeling of emptiness, brokenness, and isolation that seems impossible to fill. Inspired by a voicemail from Thiago in Brazil and a message from Noura in Egypt, I’m reminded of why I started this podcast: to connect with those searching for meaning beyond the surface-level solutions often offered in mental health and self-help spaces. We dive into the concept of “zooming out”—taking a higher, broader perspective on our lives and struggles. By stepping back, we can begin to see our experiences not as signs of inherent flaws, but as part of a much larger journey of growth and self-discovery. This episode encourages you to follow your own “spiritual breadcrumbs” and find unique ways to reconnect with yourself at a deeper level.Topics include:Exploring spiritual emptiness and feelings of disconnectionPractical steps for “zooming out” and gaining a higher perspective on personal strugglesHow to use a spiritual lens to find peace and purposeTips for navigating feelings of brokenness and finding inner resilienceCultivating self-awareness and autonomy on your own spiritual pathFor anyone feeling lost or spiritually “starved,” this episode offers a refreshing perspective on reclaiming your journey and nurturing a more meaningful connection with yourself. RESOURCES: “How Do We Break the Habit of Excessive Thinking?” with Eckhart Tolle“How to re-frame a challenging moment and feel empowered?” with Gabor Maté MD“Let your relationships become a vehicle for freedom” with Ram Dass“The principal of not forcing” with Alan Watts“Holding the tension of the opposites” with Marion Woodman Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Oct 25, 2022 • 1h 19min
all the rage: healthy ways to to respond to (and work with) anger
The podcast explores the complex topic of anger and rage, discussing the difference between healthy and unhealthy expressions of anger, practical anger management strategies, and the spiritual meaning of anger. It addresses the listener's struggle with intense anger related to Borderline Personality Disorder and offers guidance on managing anger. The chapters delve into the physiological effects of anger, the corrosive nature of rage and resentment, and healthier alternatives to expressing anger. The podcast also emphasizes the importance of recognizing triggers, allowing the emotion to run its course, and incorporating spirituality into the recovery process.
Oct 18, 2022 • 1h 2min
dissociation, depersonalization and derealization: understanding these common responses to trauma
Dissociation can feel like slipping out of reality itself—but what’s really going on when we disconnect from our surroundings or even from ourselves? In this episode, we take an in-depth look at dissociation, breaking down its subtypes, including derealization (feeling detached from the world around you) and depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself). We explore how dissociation is often tied to trauma and how it manifests differently for those who experience it. From grounding techniques to mindful awareness, this episode offers practical tools to help you manage these unsettling moments and reconnect to the present. We also address the deeply isolating feeling of “going crazy” that can accompany dissociation and discuss how to seek supportive resources for ongoing dissociative experiences. Whether dissociation is something you experience often or only occasionally, this episode provides insights to help you understand, manage, and ultimately feel less alone in the experience. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
