back from the borderline

In this listener Q&A episode, we explore profound and complex themes around self-identity, relationships, forgiveness, and the search for emotional stability. Each listener brings a unique perspective and challenge, from grappling with the Buddhist concept of “no-self” to navigating the difficult terrain of forgiveness and dependency in relationships. Join us as we delve deep into these topics, offering insights that could reshape how you approach your mental health and interpersonal connections.Episode Highlights:Priyasha’s Journey with “No-Self” and Identity (03:34): In Dubai, Priyasha reflects on her struggle to “find a sense of self” as she works through the symptoms of her BPD diagnosis. We explore how Buddhist principles, especially the concept of “anatta” or “no-self,” can provide a path to self-understanding, particularly in the realm of emotion dysregulation and how these ideas have been adapted into DBT.Allison’s Experience of Isolation after Suicide Attempts (25:08): Allison feels like her friends and family are pulling away after her recent suicide attempts, leading her to question the roots of her distress and the concept of emotional boundaries. We dive into topics like emotional vampirism, trauma-dumping, and ways to express vulnerability without overwhelming loved ones.Gia’s Struggle with Forgiveness and Past Trauma (52:17): Gia wrestles with forgiving her childhood caregivers while still feeling triggered by their presence as an adult. We touch on the nature of “magical thinking” in trauma recovery, the pitfalls of “going back to the empty well,” and how to approach forgiveness as a self-healing tool rather than an obligation.Fae’s Conflicted Feelings in Relationships (01:13:26): Fae finds herself developing crushes on friends while in a committed relationship, stirring up feelings of guilt and confusion. We examine the “Favorite Person” phenomenon often discussed in the BPD recovery community, the risks of objectifying others for emotional regulation, and strategies for creating emotional independence and balance in relationships.This episode invites you to rethink how you relate to yourself and others, offering both practical guidance and deep reflection on managing emotional triggers, identity, and the pursuit of genuine self-acceptance. Tune in for an intimate, empathetic exploration of recovery and personal growth.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we tackle the complexities of emotion dysregulation and its deep-rooted ties to childhood emotional neglect and abuse. Many of us who grew up in chaotic or neglectful environments find ourselves craving love and connection yet struggling to maintain healthy, secure relationships. Through a Q&A format, I respond to listener questions and explore common patterns like overthinking, rumination, and drama addiction that often sabotage our chances for stability and connection. If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a cycle of self-sabotaging behavior, toxic relationships, or unresolved anger, this episode sheds light on why these patterns emerge and offers guidance on how to break free from them.Episode Breakdown and Key Topics:Sophie’s Struggle with Rumination (08:11): We discuss why overthinking can make relationships feel doomed from the start, and how to break the cycle of anxious rumination.Anna’s Question about Leaving an Abusive Partner (16:50): Navigating the emotional turmoil of leaving an abusive relationship, and finding clarity on whether it was the right choice.Lauren’s Awkward Work Relationship Fallout (25:24): Tips for managing the discomfort and emotional fallout when a workplace romance doesn’t go as planned.Marina’s Reflection on “Abandonholics” and Drama Addiction (36:08): An exploration of the addictive nature of chaotic relationships, and why some of us are drawn to emotional highs and lows.Elinor’s Battle with Explosive Rage (01:11:27): Understanding the roots of uncontrollable anger and practical strategies to self-regulate in moments of intense emotion.This episode offers a compassionate look at why we often feel drawn to self-destructive patterns and gives listeners actionable insights to foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Tune in to uncover the underlying forces at play and start building a life centered around true connection, rather than chaos. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this soul-stirring episode, we dive into the raw, resonant prose of Amanda Palmer’s article, What it feels like to get divorced—and possibly remarried—at TED 2023. This piece, originally shared on her Substack, captured my heart so profoundly that I wanted to read it aloud and share it with you, creating a moment of reflection for anyone struggling with life’s most complicated emotions. So brew a warm cup of tea, settle into your coziest spot, and let me read you some words that might help you feel a little less alone.Through Palmer’s words, we explore themes of heartbreak, transformation, and resilience. She grapples with the disorienting aftermath of her divorce, the weight of parenting through tumultuous times, and the surreal experience of navigating these emotions against the backdrop of a TED conference. Palmer’s reflections on love, loss, identity, and belonging are both intimate and universal—giving voice to the raw edges of human experience.Episode Highlights and Topics Discussed:Divorce and Reinvention: Palmer’s reflections on ending a marriage and the bittersweet hope of starting anewThe Crisis of Belonging: Exploring humanity’s collective need for connection in a world increasingly defined by isolationThe Power of Pain as a Teacher: Why embracing emotional pain, rather than numbing it, can foster growth and healingMental Health in a Chaotic World: How Palmer’s honesty about grief, anxiety, and the complexities of parenting offers comfort to those facing similar battlesThe Fragility and Resilience of the Human Spirit: From ancient wisdom to modern struggles, how the desire for connection and self-acceptance remains timeless TIME STAMPS 00:00 – 01:53: Intro01:53 – 04:37: Why I chose to read the article on today’s episode / intro of Amanda Palmer and her work04:37 – 50:06: Storytime reading of “What it feels like to get divorced—and possibly remarried—at TED 2023” by Amanda Palmer50:06 – 51:26: Article reflections51:45: Preview of SWSMH 19 BFTB BONUS: SWSMH #19 (preview): seeing the synchronicities: This week’s Stupid Walk is all about listening, but not in the way you’d expect. We’re diving into the concept of synchronicities. In psychology, synchronicity is defined as the occurrence of meaningful coincidences that seem to have no cause. During our walk, I’ll discuss examples of synchronicities in my own life and how they’ve shaped my recovery journey.  RESOURCES·     “What it feels like to get divorced—and possibly remarried—at TED 2023,” full article by Amanda Palmer·     Amanda Palmer’s SubstackCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we dive into the lasting emotional impact of childhood abandonment and neglect, a wound that can leave us feeling unworthy and disconnected well into adulthood. Set to calming medieval soundscapes, we explore how myths, fairy tales, and timeless stories hold profound insights for healing these deeply rooted scars. From the iconic tales of Cinderella and Vasilisa the Beautiful to the transformative journeys of heroes and heroines, we’ll examine how fairy tales reveal paths to resilience and self-discovery, even in the face of great loss.The episode also features an excerpt from a powerful book that reframed my own perspectives on resentment and the weight of emotional burdens I’ve carried since childhood. Through these stories, we uncover how feelings of abandonment are universal—and how tales of magical godmothers, brave girls with enchanted dolls, and creatures from nature offer guidance for embracing our inner strength. Together, we’ll unravel how the themes of missing mothers, unfulfilled bonds, and wicked stepmothers symbolize the complex realities of human relationships, teaching us to confront our fears and embrace the parts of ourselves we often neglect.Topics Covered in This Episode:How childhood abandonment impacts emotional well-being across a lifetimeThe symbolism of missing or absent mothers in folklore and fairy talesThe mythological roots of resilience and how stories offer paths to self-worthAn exploration of Carl Jung’s “shadow” concept and what fairy tale villains representTIME STAMPS: 00:00 - 3:56: Intro3:56 - 50:13: Fear of Abandonment - Mothers in Fairy Tales50:18: Preview of this week’s Premium Submarine Episode, “SWSMH 18: smash the peace button”RESOURCES: ·     The Fear of Abandonment: Missing Mothers and Fairy Tales (article by Dale M. Kushner)·     The Interpretation of Fairy Tales (C.G. Jung Foundation Books) by Marie Louise Von Frantz·     The O Manuscript: The Seer, The Magdalene, The Grail by Lars MuhlCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why am I here? What is my true purpose? If you’re feeling lost, stuck in a cycle of unfulfilling work, or questioning if there’s more to life than the 9-to-5 grind and occasional vacation, you’re not alone. Many of us are living on autopilot—choosing careers based on survival rather than passion, trapped by societal expectations, and rarely considering what a life of true purpose might look like.In this episode, we’ll explore the ancient Japanese philosophy of Ikigai, a concept that translates to “reason for being”. Ikigai encourages us to look inward and discover what brings us joy, aligns with our strengths, and allows us to contribute to the world in a meaningful way. This isn’t about quick fixes or surface-level career advice; it’s about peeling back the layers to uncover the unique calling that only you can fulfill.Through this exploration, you’ll discover:How Ikigai can help you define a life purpose that goes beyond the day-to-day grindThe core elements of Ikigai and how they interconnect: passion, mission, profession, and vocationPractical steps for aligning your talents, passions, and work with a purpose that resonates on a soul levelWays to break free from society’s expectations and live intentionallyHow Ikigai bridges personal growth and spiritual meaning, transforming your life from mere survival to deep fulfillmentImagine a life where your actions feel aligned with your values, where your work feels like an extension of your true self, and where every day brings a sense of contribution and joy. Discovering your Ikigai could be the key to that life. Dive in and take the first step toward a deeper, more meaningful existence.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Deepfakes have become an unsettling phenomenon in recent years, rising from niche technology to a widespread cultural issue that affects millions. While deepfakes hold potential for media and innovation, the darker side of this technology is alarming. AI-powered deepfake porn, specifically targeting women, threatens their sense of self-control, consent, and safety in the digital world. Victims are forced to see their likeness in explicit content they never agreed to, leaving lasting emotional trauma.In January 2023, this issue gained global attention when popular Twitch streamer Brandon “Atrioc” Ewing accidentally revealed that he had viewed and paid for deepfake porn of fellow female creators without their consent. One of those creators, QTCinderella, responded publicly, shedding light on the devastating impact non-consensual deepfake porn can have on victims. This incident triggered national conversations around consent, safety, and the urgent need for legal protections.In this episode, we explore the troubling implications of deepfake technology on privacy and autonomy, using the Atrioc controversy as a case study. From the legal loopholes that make deepfake porn hard to combat to the emotional toll on victims, we’ll delve into how this technology magnifies the sexualization of women, often with no legal recourse or protection. By the end of the episode, you’ll have insight into the evolving digital landscape, the necessity of safeguards, and the steps you can take to protect yourself and loved ones in the face of AI’s rapid advancements.Topics discussed in this episode:The Atrioc deepfake controversy: how it unfolded and its implicationsWhat is a deepfake, and how is AI used to create it?Legal and ethical issues surrounding non-consensual deepfake contentHow deepfake porn escalates the objectification and sexualization of women in disturbing waysEmotional and psychological effects of deepfake revenge porn on victimsUNFPA’s “bodyright” campaign and other movements fighting backCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The need for approval is universal, but when it spirals into a cycle of constant validation-seeking, it can lead to something often called approval addiction. This lesser-known yet impactful form of addiction drives people to go to great lengths to secure affirmation and avoid rejection, often at the cost of their own well-being. In this episode, we explore what approval addiction is, how it manifests in our lives, and the signs that indicate we may be relying too heavily on others’ validation.Learn how approval addiction shows up in daily life, from over-committing and people-pleasing to compromising your values for the sake of fitting in. We’ll also cover the different types of approval addiction, such as social approval and performance-based validation, and examine the differences between approval addiction and codependency. Finally, we’ll discuss how to break free from the need for constant validation, so you can build a stronger sense of self-approval and authentic confidence. Whether you struggle with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or a need for external validation, this episode offers practical insights to help you start reclaiming your sense of worth from within.Topics Discussed in This Episode:Signs of approval addiction and how to recognize itThe role of people-pleasing and validation-seeking in approval addictionDifferences between codependency and approval addictionHow to break free from needing external approval for self-worthCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When psychological suffering enters our lives, the modern psychiatric response is often to label, diagnose, and medicate what’s perceived as “symptoms” of conditions like BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD, and countless others. The DSM-5, as of 2022, lists criteria for 193 mental health disorders—a number that seems to expand with every edition. This episode challenges Western psychiatry's tendency to pathologize and medicalize human emotional distress, exploring what might happen if we viewed our symptoms not as problems to be "fixed," but as adaptive responses that reveal unmet needs and deeper truths about ourselves.Imagine seeing these intense emotions and behaviors not as signs of a “disorder,” but as messengers pointing us toward growth and self-discovery. I share my own experience of hitting rock bottom, questioning life’s purpose, and how this perspective shift led to a profound change in how I approach mental health. Together, we’ll explore why reframing symptoms as “saviors” could radically change how we view mental well-being, reduce stigma, and transform treatment approaches for the better. This episode offers a perspective that invites compassion, self-awareness, and integration—helping us move towards a world where our daily emotional experiences are embraced as parts of a greater whole..RESOURCES AND ADDITIONAL CONTENT MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:■ From Disorder to Design: A New Way to Understand Mental Health Symptoms (Ft. Philosopher Justin Garson)■ Mental Health Symptoms or Hidden Spiritual Gifts? (Ft. Lisa Miller)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this dynamic episode of BFTB, we tackle the complexities of mental health stigma, low emotional intelligence, gaslighting, and the challenges of managing intense emotions. With voicemails and emails from listeners, we’ll dive into real-life scenarios that illustrate the misunderstandings surrounding mental health and the painful impact of stigma, both in Hollywood and in our personal relationships. Below is a breakdown of the topics we cover, including practical tips on self-regulation, boundary-setting, and navigating stigmatizing environments. Tune in for a packed episode that offers validation, perspective, and tools for anyone facing mental health stigma or emotional struggles.TIMESTAMPS:2:02 | The Power of Silence — Discover the benefits of “doing nothing” with insights from new neuroscience research, including a thought-provoking tweet from Billy Oppenheimer.10:18 | BPD Stigma in Hollywood — Voicemail from Josie on how films like Bodies, Bodies, Bodies perpetuate harmful mental health stereotypes, and a discussion on reframing emotion dysregulation as something we can talk about openly.17:02 | Navigating Family’s Mental Health Views — Email from Christian, a first-generation immigrant dealing with his family’s outdated and invalidating beliefs about mental health. We’ll discuss tips for handling invalidation in close relationships.24:06 | Toxic Friendships and Boundaries — Voicemail from Sammy, who wonders how to recognize if a friend might have BPD. We’ll cover the importance of assessing toxic dynamics and setting healthy boundaries, regardless of diagnostic labels.37:00 | Gaslighting and Emotional Reactions — Voicemail from Erin, who questions if her emotional responses are valid or “just the BPD.” We’ll explore the nuances of gaslighting, the dangers of label weaponization, and techniques to gain clarity over emotional reactivity.58:00 | Preview of this week's episode of My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health (Ep 13)RESOURCES:■ Billy Openheimer Twitter■ Ryan Holiday’s YouTube channel, The Daily StoicCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of splitting—a type of black-and-white thinking that can both serve as a protective mechanism and lead us into cycles of self-sabotage. Often linked to various mental health conditions such as BPD, cPTSD, ADHD, and ASD, splitting can profoundly impact our relationships and sense of self. But what if there’s more to splitting than just a label? Exploring splitting through the lens of both psychology and esoteric spiritual practices, we discuss how polarized thinking keeps us locked in cycles of dysfunctional behavior and perfectionism. We also dig into object relations theory to understand how splitting influences our ability to see people and ideas in nuanced ways, shaping everything from our self-perception to our closest relationships.What we cover in this episode:How splitting affects individuals with traits associated with BPD, narcissistic personality disorder, and other “disorder” labelsThe psychological and spiritual origins of polarized thinking and its adaptive rootsPractical steps to break free from black-and-white thinking and embrace a more flexible, growth-oriented mindsetHow perfectionism and splitting reinforce each other, keeping us in rigid cyclesInsights from a listener voicemail from Charlie, who’s wrestling with feelings of guilt after learning how her intense emotional reactions are impacting her partnerIf you’ve ever felt trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, this episode offers tools to help you recognize and soften these patterns, allowing for a more balanced and compassionate view of yourself and others.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.