back from the borderline
mollie adler
I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of 'disorder' or 'dysfunction', but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner psychological brink we all experience. Everyone has found themselves on the edge, in that liminal space where the old self falls apart and the new Self emerges. Here, we explore what it means to undergo true emotional alchemy: that ancient and primordial process of falling apart, confronting the underworld of our psyche, and falling back together into someone stronger, wiser, and more whole.Many highly sensitive people who identify with the seemingly never-ending list of diagnostic mental health labels contained within ‘the bible of psychiatry’ (the DSM) share the same underlying sense of being irreparably broken, disconnected from their intuition, and paralyzed by life’s existential questions. I believe the resulting—and perfectly understandable—chronic feelings of emptiness and spiritual starvation are the TRUE causes of our current collective ‘mental health crisis.’Together, we’ll dive into depth psychology, mythology, human consciousness, critical psychiatry, and the impact of trauma to help you begin the process of emotional alchemy. This exploration will help you get to the root cause of your suffering and free yourself from the toxic shame, limiting beliefs, and mental programming that have kept you locked in the chains of your past.In an era where mental health and spirituality are too often commercialized, I’m not here as a guru with a quick fix to sell you. I don’t believe anyone is ever truly ‘healed’ or ‘cured.’ There is no return to some mythical state of pre-trauma purity, but rather a continuous spiral of unbecoming, unlearning, and transformation. As a fellow seeker, I will be there in your ear, walking alongside you on your path toward wholeness as a sort of parasocial big sister. That, I can promise.By integrating the concepts we explore together, you’ll begin to see that anyone—even you—can come back from the borderline.CRAVING MORE? Visit backfromtheborderline.com to dive into my universe, connect with me, access my Patreon, and discover more about my journey and work. Don’t forget to follow Back from the Borderline so new episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays automatically drop into your podcast feed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Apr 11, 2023 • 1h 32min
are you an approval addict?
The need for approval is universal, but when it spirals into a cycle of constant validation-seeking, it can lead to something often called approval addiction. This lesser-known yet impactful form of addiction drives people to go to great lengths to secure affirmation and avoid rejection, often at the cost of their own well-being. In this episode, we explore what approval addiction is, how it manifests in our lives, and the signs that indicate we may be relying too heavily on others’ validation.Learn how approval addiction shows up in daily life, from over-committing and people-pleasing to compromising your values for the sake of fitting in. We’ll also cover the different types of approval addiction, such as social approval and performance-based validation, and examine the differences between approval addiction and codependency. Finally, we’ll discuss how to break free from the need for constant validation, so you can build a stronger sense of self-approval and authentic confidence. Whether you struggle with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or a need for external validation, this episode offers practical insights to help you start reclaiming your sense of worth from within.Topics Discussed in This Episode:Signs of approval addiction and how to recognize itThe role of people-pleasing and validation-seeking in approval addictionDifferences between codependency and approval addictionHow to break free from needing external approval for self-worthCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Apr 4, 2023 • 1h 19min
completely transform the way you view your mental health symptoms with this reframe
When psychological suffering enters our lives, the modern psychiatric response is often to label, diagnose, and medicate what’s perceived as “symptoms” of conditions like BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD, and countless others. The DSM-5, as of 2022, lists criteria for 193 mental health disorders—a number that seems to expand with every edition. This episode challenges Western psychiatry's tendency to pathologize and medicalize human emotional distress, exploring what might happen if we viewed our symptoms not as problems to be "fixed," but as adaptive responses that reveal unmet needs and deeper truths about ourselves.Imagine seeing these intense emotions and behaviors not as signs of a “disorder,” but as messengers pointing us toward growth and self-discovery. I share my own experience of hitting rock bottom, questioning life’s purpose, and how this perspective shift led to a profound change in how I approach mental health. Together, we’ll explore why reframing symptoms as “saviors” could radically change how we view mental well-being, reduce stigma, and transform treatment approaches for the better. This episode offers a perspective that invites compassion, self-awareness, and integration—helping us move towards a world where our daily emotional experiences are embraced as parts of a greater whole..RESOURCES AND ADDITIONAL CONTENT MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:■ From Disorder to Design: A New Way to Understand Mental Health Symptoms (Ft. Philosopher Justin Garson)■ Mental Health Symptoms or Hidden Spiritual Gifts? (Ft. Lisa Miller)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 28, 2023 • 1h 14min
emotional reactivity and toxic friendships
In this dynamic episode of BFTB, we tackle the complexities of mental health stigma, low emotional intelligence, gaslighting, and the challenges of managing intense emotions. With voicemails and emails from listeners, we’ll dive into real-life scenarios that illustrate the misunderstandings surrounding mental health and the painful impact of stigma, both in Hollywood and in our personal relationships. Below is a breakdown of the topics we cover, including practical tips on self-regulation, boundary-setting, and navigating stigmatizing environments. Tune in for a packed episode that offers validation, perspective, and tools for anyone facing mental health stigma or emotional struggles.TIMESTAMPS:2:02 | The Power of Silence — Discover the benefits of “doing nothing” with insights from new neuroscience research, including a thought-provoking tweet from Billy Oppenheimer.10:18 | BPD Stigma in Hollywood — Voicemail from Josie on how films like Bodies, Bodies, Bodies perpetuate harmful mental health stereotypes, and a discussion on reframing emotion dysregulation as something we can talk about openly.17:02 | Navigating Family’s Mental Health Views — Email from Christian, a first-generation immigrant dealing with his family’s outdated and invalidating beliefs about mental health. We’ll discuss tips for handling invalidation in close relationships.24:06 | Toxic Friendships and Boundaries — Voicemail from Sammy, who wonders how to recognize if a friend might have BPD. We’ll cover the importance of assessing toxic dynamics and setting healthy boundaries, regardless of diagnostic labels.37:00 | Gaslighting and Emotional Reactions — Voicemail from Erin, who questions if her emotional responses are valid or “just the BPD.” We’ll explore the nuances of gaslighting, the dangers of label weaponization, and techniques to gain clarity over emotional reactivity.58:00 | Preview of this week's episode of My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health (Ep 13)RESOURCES:■ Billy Openheimer Twitter■ Ryan Holiday’s YouTube channel, The Daily StoicCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 14, 2023 • 1h 42min
developing a growth mindset to overcome splitting and perfectionism
In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of splitting—a type of black-and-white thinking that can both serve as a protective mechanism and lead us into cycles of self-sabotage. Often linked to various mental health conditions such as BPD, cPTSD, ADHD, and ASD, splitting can profoundly impact our relationships and sense of self. But what if there’s more to splitting than just a label? Exploring splitting through the lens of both psychology and esoteric spiritual practices, we discuss how polarized thinking keeps us locked in cycles of dysfunctional behavior and perfectionism. We also dig into object relations theory to understand how splitting influences our ability to see people and ideas in nuanced ways, shaping everything from our self-perception to our closest relationships.What we cover in this episode:How splitting affects individuals with traits associated with BPD, narcissistic personality disorder, and other “disorder” labelsThe psychological and spiritual origins of polarized thinking and its adaptive rootsPractical steps to break free from black-and-white thinking and embrace a more flexible, growth-oriented mindsetHow perfectionism and splitting reinforce each other, keeping us in rigid cyclesInsights from a listener voicemail from Charlie, who’s wrestling with feelings of guilt after learning how her intense emotional reactions are impacting her partnerIf you’ve ever felt trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, this episode offers tools to help you recognize and soften these patterns, allowing for a more balanced and compassionate view of yourself and others.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 7, 2023 • 1h 43min
healing control and codependency issues to get your needs met in a healthier way
Do your relationships leave you feeling frustrated, resentful, or unfulfilled? If you’re tired of struggling with intimacy and connection, this episode offers a compassionate look at codependency and the often hidden expectations that can erode closeness. Together, we’ll uncover how “control dramas” can push love away and examine the common trap of setting unrealistic expectations in relationships.We’ll also listen to a voicemail from a listener who’s grappling with these very issues and fears she’s sabotaging her own chance at real love and intimacy. By the end of the episode, you’ll gain clarity on how to identify and voice your needs in a relationship—without it ending in conflict or emotional burnout.Topics covered include:Recognizing codependency patterns and their impact on intimacyWhat are “control dramas” and how they damage relationshipsMoving past resentment and frustration toward healthier connectionsTips for communicating your needs without emotional explosionsHow to create a more fulfilling and balanced partnershipThis episode is for anyone ready to let go of old patterns and find a more authentic path to love and connection. Join me as we dive deep into the real challenges—and solutions—for building fulfilling relationships.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 28, 2023 • 1h 17min
your personality masks are blocking access to your TRUE self
Have you ever felt like you’re playing a role rather than being your true self? In this episode, we dive into the concept of “personality masks” and how they can keep us from connecting with our authentic selves. We’ll unpack what “Self” and “personality” truly mean and explore why so many of us develop these protective masks—often as a response to social pressures, trauma, or past experiences.We’ll discuss how masking behaviors can show up in daily life, particularly for those who identify with conditions like ADHD, Autism, or traits associated with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). By examining common signs of personality masking and examples of masking behaviors, you’ll gain insight into how these tendencies might be affecting your mental health and relationships. Plus, we’ll highlight the different types of masks people use, the unconscious reasons behind them, and the psychological toll they can take over time. If you’re ready to start the journey of unmasking, this episode provides practical tips for recognizing and shedding these layers, helping you reconnect with a more authentic, grounded version of yourself.Key insights and topics covered include:What is a “personality mask” and how it impacts mental well-beingRecognizing signs of masking in everyday lifeWhy masking is commonly associated with ADHD, Autism, and BPD traitsThe psychological cost of wearing personality masksHow to unmask and connect with your true self in a healthy, empowering wayThis conversation offers tools and insights for anyone feeling disconnected from their true self and seeking to live more authentically.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 14, 2023 • 52min
sober curious: a fresh and dialectical approach to alcohol use
With the rise of the “sober curious” movement, more people than ever are questioning the role alcohol plays in their lives and exploring what it means to live (or drink) more mindfully. Inspired by a wave of viral stories and transformations, I set out to uncover what this lifestyle is all about and how it’s challenging social norms around drinking. In this episode, we’ll break down the concept of being “sober curious,” tracing its origins and hearing from voices within the movement who are reshaping our understanding of alcohol and wellness. From redefining social drinking to understanding why Gen Z is leading a cultural shift away from alcohol, we’ll explore the upsides, the challenges, and the powerful potential of a sober curious life.Topics include:How the sober curious movement started and its growing influence on wellness cultureThe concept of mindful drinking and ways to integrate it into your social lifeWhy a growing number of people are choosing to question their relationship with alcoholInsights into Gen Z’s changing attitudes toward drinking and social connectionWhether you’re considering a break from alcohol or just want a fresh perspective, this episode offers an inviting look at the benefits and possibilities of going “sober curious.”Referenced resources: ■ Book: “Sober Curious” by Ruby Warrington ■ Book: “Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice Not to Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol”Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 7, 2023 • 60min
"am i crazy, or are they gaslighting me?"
In this episode, we dive deep into the emotional turbulence of high-conflict relationships, focusing on a listener’s experience with being gaslit. When Jade called in to share how she’s been made to feel “too much” or “too sensitive,” it highlighted the destructive power of gaslighting—and how easily mental health stigma can fuel feelings of self-doubt and guilt. Together, we’ll unpack the signs and effects of gaslighting, from the subtle shifts in self-perception to the ways it can derail emotional stability. We’ll also explore how partners who are open about their mental health can sometimes be manipulated into taking blame, and why self-soothing and emotional intelligence are key skills for handling intense relationship dynamics. Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict relationship, dealing with unresolved guilt, or simply seeking clarity, this episode will offer guidance and practical steps for reclaiming your sense of self.Key topics covered include:Recognizing gaslighting and understanding its impact on your self-trustIdentifying if and when your partner might be using gaslighting tacticsThe damaging role of mental health stigma in relationshipsTips for initiating the conversation about couple’s therapySelf-soothing strategies and conflict resolution for high-conflict couplesMoving beyond the blame game to build healthier emotional dynamicsTune in for an honest conversation on gaslighting, emotional resilience, and the road to building stronger, more self-aware relationships.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 31, 2023 • 46min
blindsided by betrayal: learning to love again after being cheated on
This week’s episode dives into some raw and relatable relationship struggles that many of us grapple with behind closed doors. We’ll listen to Liz’s story of battling guilt and shame after feeling responsible for her boyfriend’s eviction from his friend group’s apartment, and we’ll hear from Otillia, who is facing the painful aftermath of discovering that the person she’d been dating was hiding a pregnant girlfriend. These listener stories open the door to real, unfiltered discussions on navigating the tough moments that can make or break our self-worth and trust in others.In this episode, we’ll explore:How to rebuild confidence after hurtful feedback and regain a sense of selfPractical ways to cope with feelings of guilt and shame without losing yourself in themManaging social anxiety and finding ease when meeting new people in your partner’s lifeApproaches to building authentic relationships with a partner’s friends without overextendingMoving forward after experiencing betrayal and the shock of infidelityThrough these stories, we’ll reflect on ways to strengthen our emotional resilience and deepen our understanding of ourselves in love and relationships. Whether you’re navigating guilt, trust, or the challenge of building new connections, this episode offers insights and support for the journey.Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 24, 2023 • 1h 30min
breaking the cycle of pain: moving on and healing from a traumatic breakup
If you’re feeling stuck in the aftermath of a breakup, this episode is a space to help you begin untangling the pain and finding your way back to yourself. Healing from a traumatic separation isn’t a straightforward path—it’s filled with grief, self-doubt, and that persistent question: “Will I ever feel whole again?” We’ll dig deep into the emotional layers of heartbreak, looking at how to rebuild self-worth, embrace closure, and eventually, open up to love once more. We’ll explore how attachments, beliefs, and past traumas can shape our experience of love and loss. From breaking free of trauma bonds and recognizing the patterns of limerence—those addictive, all-consuming feelings that mimic love—to challenging the myth of a “perfect partner,” this episode is about grounding ourselves in reality and embracing a healthier view of relationships and self-worth.Topics include:Finding purpose through helping others and using altruism as a lifelineUnderstanding limerence vs. true love, and breaking free from toxic cyclesInsights into trauma bonding and its effects on adult relationshipsLetting go of the “One” myth to find a more balanced perspective on loveGuided visualization to help you process pain and start moving forwardThrough these reflections, you’ll gain fresh perspectives on navigating breakup pain and new ways to reconnect with yourself.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
