back from the borderline

Join me for part two of a 3-part series exploring the hidden complexities of the “scapegoat” or “black sheep” role within dysfunctional family dynamics. Family scapegoats start as innocent children or adolescents who bear the weight of projected family trauma. In this series, we’ll journey through the origins and consequences of scapegoating abuse, both in early childhood, as well as its lingering impact in adulthood. Together, we’ll explore how these experiences shape our emotional landscapes and relationships. By working with and integrating the concepts covered, you’ll discover valuable insights into breaking free from this suffocating role, allowing you to embark on a journey towards healing and liberation. By the end of this series, it is my sincere hope that you can begin to unmask the layers of this covert form of psycho-emotional abuse, and learn to reclaim your narrative, rewriting a story of resilience and transformation beyond this dysfunctional label that was never yours to begin with. TIME STAMPS SCAPEGOATING SERIES PART 2: 00:00 – 05:44: Listener voicemails reacting to the toxic shame series05:25 – 12:19: The connection between scapegoating and toxic shame + intro to part 212:19 – 20:32: How scapegoating abuse can lead to misdiagnosis of mental health disorders20:32 – 29:34: Questions to help you identify if you were the victim of family scapegoating abuse29:34 – 38:08: Questions to help you identify if scapegoating abuse is still impacting you as an adult38:08 – 45:50: Common experiences of scapegoated children45:50 – 01:04:56: Processing the grief of the scapegoat role PREMIUM: LISTENER VOICEMAILS: 01:04:56 – 01:22:21: Voicemail from Molly (how to handle a partner who isn’t willing to do their own inner work)01:22:21 – 01:39:28: Voicemail from Paige (how to keep your word with yourself and avoid self-abandonment when dealing with recovery from addiction and childhood trauma)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we begin an intense 3-part exploration of the “scapegoat” or “black sheep” role within dysfunctional family systems. Often misunderstood, family scapegoating assigns innocent children or adolescents the emotional burden of unresolved trauma, a pattern that can devastate self-worth and echo throughout adult life. Join me as we unpack the origins of scapegoating abuse, trace its psychological impact, and dive into real-life examples—from literary archetypes like Hester Prynne to my own story. This series is about more than awareness; it’s about empowering listeners to break free from toxic narratives. Together, we’ll uncover the hidden scars left by scapegoating and provide tools to help you reclaim your voice and reshape your identity on your terms. In Part 1, gain foundational insights into the scapegoat role and its far-reaching effects on identity, self-worth, and resilience. This episode lays the groundwork for deeper healing and transformation—beginning with awareness and the courage to confront our hidden wounds.Part 1 – Understanding the Scapegoat Role in Dysfunctional Families:00:00 – 09:21 | Overview of family roles in dysfunctional systems09:21 – 16:47 | Scapegoat archetypes in literature: Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter16:47 – 21:36 | How toxic families select a child as the scapegoat21:36 – 26:35 | My personal experience as the family scapegoat26:35 – 32:55 | Key signs that you may be the scapegoat in your family32:55 – 38:28 | The multigenerational cycle of family scapegoating abuse (FSA)38:28 – 41:58 | Recognizing scapegoating abuse for what it truly is41:58 – 44:36 | Deep emotional wounds caused by scapegoating44:36 – 48:11 | Why scapegoating abuse often goes unrecognized48:11 – 54:30 | The dehumanizing effects of scapegoating on children54:30 – 01:05:21 | The scapegoat’s role in narcissistic family dynamics01:05:21 – 01:11:16 | Toxic family narratives and distorted storytelling01:11:15 – 01:15:19 | Physical, psychological, and emotional tolls of scapegoatingPremium Segment: Navigating Ghosting in Relationships: 01:15:19 – 01:41:03 | Listener voicemail from Austin + reflections on ghosting01:41:03 – 01:46:22 | What research reveals about the ghosting phenomenon01:46:22 – 02:11:00 | The “anti-ghosting” trend on TikTok and strategies for compassionate relationship endingsCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. James Hollis discusses the meaning of life and the importance of cultivating a vibrant inner life. Topics include Jungian psychology, self-sabotaging patterns, wounded self-esteem, and the journey towards personal wholeness.

What if the emotional struggles you face aren’t yours alone but echoes from generations before you? In this episode, we dive deep into the powerful world of Systemic Family Constellations, a therapeutic practice developed by German psychologist Bert Hellinger. At its core, Family Constellations reveals a profound truth: we are profoundly shaped by our familial and ancestral bonds, often carrying wounds we didn’t create but can’t escape. Whether we acknowledge it or not, intergenerational trauma weaves through our lives, affecting our emotional landscapes with unexplained sadness, anxiety, or despair. My guest, Marine Sélénée, a renowned Family Constellations facilitator based in New York City and Miami, guides us through this transformative modality. Together, we explore how looking into our family’s past can illuminate hidden sources of pain and allow us to release these burdens, setting us on a path toward healing and deeper self-understanding. This episode unpacks the mysteries of Family Constellations, revealing how facing our family histories head-on can free us from patterns that have haunted us for generations.Episode Highlights:00:00 – 06:38: Introduction and listener voicemails06:38 – 11:28: The impact of inherited trauma on our lives11:28 – 22:39: Breaking down Systemic Family Constellations therapy22:39 – 26:41: Introduction to our guest, Marine Sélénée26:41 – 01:42:21: Full interview with Marine Sélénée, exploring the roots and process of Family Constellations01:42:21 – 02:12:44: What Family Constellations therapy looks like in real life – and how it brings hidden truths to light Recommended resources:• Book: Connected Fates, Separate Destinies: sing Family Constellations Therapy to Recover from Inherited Stories and Trauma• Work with Marine: https://www.marineselenee.com/• Netflix series that explores Family Constellations “Another Self”• Live example of Family Constellation work with Bert Hellinger on YouTube (click here)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do “emotionally disturbed” individuals, poets, artists, and burnt-out therapists have in common? We’re all DONE with the systems designed to keep us “sick” and compliant. In this episode, we confront the oppressive structures that profit from our pain, fatigue, and desperation. You'll hear a searing spoken-word piece by Anita D, powerfully condemning forced psychiatric hospitalization—a system that cages rather than heals. Next, YouTuber and former therapist Daniel Mackler delivers a raw confession about why he left the therapy profession, disillusioned by an industry that often punishes instead of liberates.We also delve into a thought-provoking article by Dr. Bruce Levine, who argues that psychiatry’s “control-freak model” is not just failing but actively fueling the suffering and behavioral crises it pretends to treat. And finally, we’ll unpack the unlikely rise of viral artist Oliver Anthony (aka Christopher Anthony Lunsford), whose breakout song “Rich Men of Richmond” has become a cultural lightning rod. In a surprising turn, Anthony has refused to be co-opted by either side, instead calling out political leaders and corporate players for twisting his message for their own agendas. This episode is for the misfits, the rebels, the worn-down healers, and anyone who’s ever felt like a pawn in a system that would rather pacify than empower. Here’s to reclaiming your voice, defying expectations, and refusing to be silenced by those who see you as just another “case” or “consumer.” Resources mentioned in this episode are below. Please support and follow the work of these fierce and fearless change-makers:✧ Spoken word poetry by Anita D (“And The Psych Ward Says”) via “Button Poetry” on YouTube [click here to watch]✧ Why I Quit Being a Therapist by Daniel Mackler [click here to watch on YouTube]✧ Click here to listen to my full interview with Dr. Bruce Levine (“The Crisis of Contemporary Psychiatry”)✧ Original viral video of “Rich Men North of Richmond” posted by Radio West Virginia [click here to listen] Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Has psychiatry lost its way? Increasingly, voices within and beyond the profession argue that Western mental health institutions may be perpetuating psychological suffering rather than alleviating it. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Bruce E. Levine, a clinical psychologist and outspoken critic of mainstream psychiatry, to dig into some of the field’s most pressing and controversial questions. Dr. Levine, known for challenging the status quo, explores how psychiatry’s overreliance on pharmaceutical solutions, the failure to address systemic sources of distress, and the widespread acceptance of diagnostic labels with questionable validity may be obscuring real pathways to healing.We examine the radical critiques that are now becoming more mainstream, including the lack of scientific support for the serotonin imbalance theory of depression, the diagnostic limitations of the DSM, and how treatment outcomes often fall short of meaningful relief. Dr. Levine, who serves on advisory boards for Ethical Human Psychology and Psychiatry and the National Center for Youth Law, connects the dots between culture, society, and the individual mind, pushing for an approach to mental health that addresses root causes rather than merely managing symptoms.Episode Highlights:00:00 – 07:42 | Deprogramming and Unlearning: Why challenging our deeply held beliefs about mental health can be the first step to true understanding and healing07:42 – 14:02 | The Rise of Critical Psychiatry: A brief history of the critical psychology movement and its implications for modern mental health care14:02 – 19:42 | Exploring Dr. Levine’s Work: Understanding his commitment to ethical psychiatry and his stance on some of the field’s most contentious issues19:42 – 01:55:50 | Interview with Dr. Bruce E. Levine: The myth of chemical imbalance, the DSM's limitations, and the systemic failures that prevent true mental health recovery01:56:01 – 02:00:36 | Final Thoughts and Reflections: Summing up the conversation and reflecting on future directions for mental health02:01:36 – 02:25:04 | Listener Question from Asja: Exploring the link between “analysis paralysis” and the long-term effects of chronic invalidationThis episode invites listeners to reflect on the ways psychiatry could be reimagined to prioritize genuine human connection, social context, and the nuances of personal experience. Whether you’re skeptical of mainstream psychiatry or simply curious, this discussion offers insights that may challenge what you thought you knew about mental health. Recommended resources: ■ Bruce’s website■ Article: Once Radical Critiques of Psychiatry are Now Mainstream, So What Remains Taboo?Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this laid-back episode, grab a matcha latte with me and settle in as we explore how unresolved childhood anger and trauma can shape the way we communicate and express our needs. Drawing on insights from somatic experiencing work, I unpack how suppressed anger often resurfaces in adolescence through "acting out" behaviors, leading many of us to adopt unhealthy patterns like manipulation and deception to feel seen and heard.But here’s the pivotal realization: these shadow tendencies may have served a purpose once, but they don’t need to define us. By bringing these hidden aspects into the light, we can recognize that these self-sabotaging habits are no longer necessary. This episode is all about discovering how to voice our needs in healthy, direct ways, moving away from reactive behavior and embracing communication that’s rooted in authenticity, integrity, and self-respect.Topics Explored in This Episode:How suppressed childhood anger shapes communication patterns in adolescenceThe link between emotional repression and “acting out” behaviorsHow manipulation and deceit arise as coping strategiesUncovering shadow aspects and breaking the cycle of self-sabotageMoving toward authentic self-expression and voicing needs with integrityWhether you’re on a journey to improve your relationships, strengthen your self-awareness, or just want to understand the roots of your own behaviors, this episode provides practical insights and grounding techniques to help you reconnect with your true voice.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.GET 20% OFF ON YOUR FIRST ORDER FROM SOMMAR PRINTS WITH THE CODE "BFTB" [click here] or visit sommarprints.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is the eighth and final installment of our multi-episode series, aiming to guide you in alchemizing and transmuting your toxic shame. Discover the insidious nature of toxic shame and its potential role as the root cause behind our ongoing suffering and emotional turmoil. At the core of self-sabotage, toxic shame leaves us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Learn how internalized toxic shame manifests uniquely in individuals, evident through feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability, struggles with intimacy, boundary challenges, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability. TIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 11:45: How “underworld experiences” can help bring us closer towards healing11:45 – 25:05: Understanding the connection between religious trauma and toxic shame25:05 – 29:41: The denial of secondary causality as the insidious and toxically shaming distortion of many religions29:07 – 32:55: Spiritual bypassing and how religion is used to deny or suppress “bad” emotions32:55 – 36:32: Religious addiction and perfectionism as mediated by psychological inflexibility40:09 – 49:34: Healing toxic shame when it has become a cultural norm (how shame is baked into our modern culture)49:28 – 01:03:05: How rigid sex roles foster the development of internalized toxic shame01:03:05 – 01:08:25: The impact of mass cultural denial and suppression of emotion01:08:25 – 01:17:38: Healing from toxic shame (a starting point) PREMIUM PORTION: 01:19:10 – 01:27:44: Listener question from Amy (what to do when you’re buried in toxic shame)01:27:09 – 01:39:54: Listener question from Teresa (dealing with splitting, overthinking and PMS in a new relationship)01:39:54 – 01:54:34: Listener question from Gia (can you be TOO self-aware?)01:54:34 – 02:01:57: Outro + premium submarine updates and reflectionsCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I typically refrain from commenting on trending topics, but I found myself unable to resist discussing this particular one. An unusual (to say the least) TikTok trend has emerged, where users live-stream themselves portraying an “NPC”—essentially an automated “non-player character” with pre-written dialogue. This includes uttering nonsensical phrases like “ice cream so good” in response to gifts from their audience. This trend is spreading rapidly and leaving many of us utterly perplexed. NPCs, or “non-player characters,” are common elements within various video games. These characters aren't under the player's control but engage with players through predetermined dialogue to drive the storyline. The mechanical demeanor of these characters has led to comparisons, inspiring the name of the TikTok NPC trend. In this episode, I'll share my perspective on this trend through my personal experiences, having been involved in sex work and online streaming previously. Is this all harmless entertainment, or does it highlight a more significant concern where we willingly commodify ourselves for financial gain? How far will we allow this to go? Join me as I delve into this dystopian scenario. Topics explored and questions answered in this episode: ★ What is an NPC?★ What is the NPC meme and how and when did it begin trending? ★ What is the NPC trend on TikTok?★ What is NPC streaming and how much do NPC streamers make?★ What impact does this robotic trend-following behavior have on us as a collective? ★ Does social media make it easier for us to dehumanize one another?★ How in the hell do we make our way out of this dystopian nightmare? Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Toxic shame and its effects on emotional turmoil and self-sabotage. Unmet childhood needs and the impact on adulthood. Abandonment and enmeshment in dysfunctional family systems. Understanding internalized toxic shame. Toxic shame as forced perfectionism in school systems. Peer shaming in childhood. Devastating impact of online public shaming and cancel culture. Toxic shame perpetuated by religion and culture. Importance of not rushing the healing process. Personal story of drunken encounter with the police. Shame and consequences of sleeping with people in relationships.