back from the borderline

What if the pursuit of a “strong sense of self” is actually keeping us trapped in cycles of suffering? In this episode, we unravel the complexities of identity disturbance, especially as it relates to the “Favorite Person” dynamic often seen with BPD traits. We’ll explore how attaching our sense of self to others can lead to feelings of emptiness and imposter syndrome, questioning whether common therapeutic goals like developing self-esteem might sometimes do more harm than good.Drawing on the Buddhist principle of anatta, or “non-self,” we’ll examine how loosening the grip on identity can open up new pathways for healing. You’ll also learn why mindfulness can feel challenging when we’re overly focused on the concept of self—and discover techniques for becoming more present without being bound by rigid ideas of who we think we are.This episode offers a fresh perspective on the pursuit of identity, inviting you to see beyond labels and discover what might lie on the other side of “self.”Recommended resources: “The Fiction of the Self - The Paradox of Mindfulness in Clinical Practice” by Ronald SiegelCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever wondered why so many mental health treatments seem to scratch the surface but don’t quite reach the root of what’s going on? For those who resonate with mental health disorder labels, the journey often begins and ends with skills-based therapies like DBT or CBT. While coping techniques can help us manage day-to-day challenges, these approaches rarely address the bigger picture—the societal narratives and systemic forces shaping how we see ourselves. Many people complete treatment programs only to find themselves still feeling unanchored, searching for identity and meaning.In this episode, we’re taking a deep dive into narrative therapy and the concept of agency, examining how these tools can help us reclaim our stories and change the way we see our struggles. We’ll explore externalization, a technique that allows you to step back from negative thought patterns and take control of your life. Along the way, we’ll discuss cognitive distortions and how they keep us trapped in cycles of self-doubt and frustration. We’ll also confront the damaging narratives perpetuated in mental health discourse and consider the profound impact they can have on those in recovery.Key topics we’ll cover include:The power of agency and why having a say in our own narrative mattersWhat narrative therapy is, and how it’s being applied to those with BPD and other labelsExternalization as a way to reclaim your identity from harmful labels and thought patternsRecognizing and addressing cognitive distortions that fuel negative thinkingThe often-overlooked role of societal narratives in shaping our mental health and recovery journeyThis episode challenges traditional approaches to mental health, inviting you to see yourself through a new lens—one where you’re not just coping, but actively rewriting your story on your own terms.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you no longer viewed your symptoms as proof of being “disordered” but as a part of your brain’s natural, adaptive design, how would that reshape your self-understanding? How would it impact the hope you hold for your future? For millions, the prevailing belief is that symptoms of mental distress stem from chemical imbalances or genetic flaws—issues inherited and hardwired. But groundbreaking research by Dr. Joanna Moncrieff is challenging this very foundation, shaking up the psychiatric field and prompting us to question: What if our brains are simply doing their best to keep us safe?In today’s episode, I sit down with philosophy professor and author Justin Garson to explore this revolutionary perspective. Together, we’ll delve into how painful symptoms can be seen less as evidence of dysfunction, and more as deeply rooted responses that have adapted over time, especially through childhood. Our early experiences leave profound imprints, shaping how we perceive the world, relationships, and even ourselves. But what if recognizing these imprints as survival mechanisms could offer a path toward real change?Join us as we reframe the entire concept of mental health, shifting from labels of disorder to stories of resilience and adaptation. This episode invites you to see yourself in a radically new light—one where healing means understanding, rather than “fixing” who you are.Recommended resources: ■ Full article by Justin Garson - "Is Borderline Personality Disorder an Adaptation?"■ Justin's website - https://www.justingarson.com/ ■ Research by Joanna Moncrieff et. al - "The serotonin theory of depression: a systematic umbrella review of the evidence" (July 2022)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For many who resonate with symptoms associated with various different mental health disorder/dysfunction labels, the journey to “getting better” often begins with therapy and learning skills through methods like CBT or DBT. But what happens when those skills still don’t seem to bring the sense of peace or fulfillment you’re looking for? You’ve done the research, tried the techniques, yet find yourself feeling perpetually empty or caught in cycles of boredom and dissatisfaction. In this episode, we dig deeper—under the surface of symptoms—to explore the “why” behind our suffering. We’ll take a closer look at the way our brains chase happiness, fueled by biology and a relentless search for the next dopamine fix. This constant chase keeps us in a loop, always seeking the next “desirable” thing or person. By examining what happiness really means and breaking down some common misconceptions about it, we can start to see our lives and relationships through a new lens.In this episode, we’ll cover:The concept of “Dukkha bias” and why we often feel like nothing is ever good enoughThe link between chronic boredom, emptiness, and high emotional sensitivityHow our constant drive for desire can become a source of suffering—and what we can do about itInsights into human biology and how it perpetuates a cycle of never-ending needsA framework for defining happiness on your own terms, free from societal expectationsJoin me as we peel back the layers of what it means to seek happiness and enter a path toward true and lasting recovery that isn’t about quick fixes, but rather a deeper understanding of ourselves. Recommended resources: ■ Book - Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan Bush■ YouTube - Interview with the author of Designing the Mind on the Modern Wisdom Podcast Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of us are well aware of the patterns we want to break—the cycles that keep us from experiencing true peace and intimacy. We can see the behaviors that sabotage our connections, but knowing isn’t the same as changing. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my own journey is that transforming our beliefs is essential to transforming our actions. In this episode, we’ll explore some of the deeply held beliefs that might be holding you back, and I’ll share why a temporary break from social media might become a lasting one for me. We’ll dive into how major platforms are shifting from “social media” to “recommendation media” and the effect this can have on our emotional well-being. I’ll also address a recent review that questioned my stance on the BPD label and why I continue to challenge the potential harms of labels that can reinforce limiting beliefs about ourselves.Topics we’ll explore include:The impact of social media on emotional stability, particularly for those with high emotional sensitivityWhether mental health labels like “borderline personality disorder” are helpful or limitingHow cognitive biases and “splitting” can affect our healing processThe importance of adopting a “growth mindset” to improve communication and build healthier relationshipsUnderstanding and managing “obsessive” tendencies, such as constantly checking a partner’s social mediaPractical tips for navigating romantic relationships when intense emotions are part of the mixThis episode is a deep dive into how shifting your beliefs can open the door to new patterns, healthier relationships, and a more grounded approach to self-discovery and growth. Recommended resources:  ■ Article – “The End of Social Media and the Rise of Recommendation Media” by Michael Mignano■ Article – The people who want to get rid of the term ‘personality disorder’ by Emily Reynolds for Dazed Digital■ Book – Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan Bush Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Former Nickelodeon child-star Jennette McCurdy's provocatively titled memior “I’m Glad My Mom Died” became a near-instant New York Times bestseller after its release in August 2022. The Audible version of the book is narrated by Jeanette herself and details her struggles with disordered eating, alcohol addiction, OCD, unstable relationships and – most notably – her extremely complicated relationship with her codependent, overbearing, and abusive mother. In this episode, I discuss my reflections on the book. Through dissecting Jeannette’s experiences she so bravely shared in this memoir, we’ll dive into what we can learn about parentification, enmeshment (also known as “emotional incest”) and the devastating impact these kinds of toxic family dynamics can have on childhood development that carry on far into adulthood.  Questions answered and topics explored in this episode: ■ The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry (the trauma faced by child actors)■ The devastating impact of emotionally immature and “narcissistic” parents■ Signs you may have suffered childhood emotional incest (also known as “covert incest”)■ Signs you were a parentified child (the damage parentification can have on highly sensitive children)■ “The narcissistic mother” (the long-term effects these traits have on their daughters)■ How childhood trauma can lead to adult identity problems■ How children of cancer patients can experience post-traumatic stress disorder (parental cancer and its psychosocial impact on children) Recommended resources: ■ I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy■ The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a recent interview with Howard Stern, 20-year-old singer-songwriter Billie Eilish revealed the devastating impact that having access to hardcore pornography from as early as age 11 had on her self-image and sexuality. In this episode, we delve into Billie's comments and explore the harmful effects of online porn on millennials and Gen-Z. Additionally, we discuss the potential increased risk of negative impact on individuals who experience symptoms of mental health disorder labels, including borderline personality disorder. Tune in to gain insight into the complex issue of easy access to porn and its effects on mental health and sexuality.Key timestamps in this conversation:02:00 – Discussion of our “quote of the week” by Stoic philosopher Epictetus (exploring how those who identify with symptoms of BPD can learn to tackle our issues with control)08:00 – Billie Eilish’s comments on porn and an in-depth exploration on sexuality and mental health disorder labels50:00 – Preview of this week’s premium episode on “borderline abuse”Questions answered in this episode:■ The impact easy access to porn has in our developmental years■ The negative effects of porn on expectations of sex and body image■ How the overuse of porn can negatively impact your mental health■ The role mental health symptoms can play in your sex life and perception of intimacy ■ What is “borderline abuse” (“borderline abuse”) and is it a real thing? Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I received two listener emails this week that ripped my heart open. One was struggling with addiction, and the other was devastated by a recent heartbreak. These voicemails reminded me of why I started my podcast in the first place, so I decided to record this episode. It is a love letter to the person at rock bottom. The person who is so heartbroken, they feel like they can’t go on—the person questioning if they even want to be on this earth anymore. Through the words of authors who have inspired me and gotten me through my own dark times, it is my hope that this episode can be a light in the darkness. If it inspires just one person to keep fighting, it will have all been worth it.  Authors quoted in the episode: ■ In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté■ The Hero's Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life & Work by Joseph Campbell■ Ether: Into the Nemesis by L.J. Vanier Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do people who identify with symptoms of what is known as borderline personality disorder have a unique ability to connect to the transcendent? Are chronic feelings of emptiness less about being “disordered” and more about being spiritually starved? My guest on this episode, Dr. Lisa Miller, seems to think so. Lisa Miller has devoted her career to scientific research proving that spirituality is a natural aspect of our humanity and that our brains become more resilient and robust because of it. We are each born with an innate desire to question the world around us in search of something more. A leading generational psychologist on the benefits of spirituality, Lisa graduated from Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania, earning her doctorate in psychology. She is currently a professor of psychology and education at Teachers College, Columbia University, and the Founder and Director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute, the first Ivy League graduate program and research institute in spirituality and psychology. In her book The Awakened Brain, Dr. Miller uses science to show that spirituality (different from religious belief) is one of the strongest protective factors against psychological suffering. Her research clearly shows that our physiological development presents us with occasional moments of crisis at certain times in our lives. When we meet those moments of crisis and trauma from a spiritual perspective, we are more protected against psychological suffering in later life stages. Dr. Miller believes that healing from trauma requires bringing greater awareness to the signs and lessons that the universe has for us and bringing those lessons into the future without getting stuck in rumination over the past. Questions answered in this episode: ■ The unexpected gifts inside the traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD / EUPD)■ BPD and the importance of spirituality■ Benefits of spirituality in recovery from trauma■ How our current “me-centered” culture in the West (particularly in the US) is keeping us stuck – and sick■ Lisa’s view on the future of mental health and personality disorder diagnoses Recommended resources: Lisa’s website (where you can find links to her books and work) - https://www.lisamillerphd.com/  Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we take a closer look at comedian and actor Pete Davidson’s mental health journey, examining his openness about emotional struggles and trauma, and the journey that eventually led to his diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) in 2017. Known for his candidness, Pete has spoken about facing intense emotions, dissociation, explosive anger, depression, and challenges with substance use from a young age—experiences that have shaped both his personal life and public image. Through interviews and biographical pieces, we’ll explore how Pete’s story sheds light on the complexities of mental health and resilience in the spotlight.Topics covered include:Pete’s early experiences with trauma and loss, including the death of his fatherHis history with inpatient treatment and rehab, and his journey through recoveryHow mental health struggles have influenced his career, including his time on SNLInsights into his relationship history and how emotional challenges have impacted his personal lifeThe role of social media in his life and his decision to step away from itHis experiences with tattoos and tattoo removal as forms of self-expressionBy analyzing Pete’s story, we’ll gain a broader perspective on the intersections of fame, mental health, and personal recovery, uncovering the resilience it takes to face these struggles openly. Join us for a reflective look at the ups and downs of Pete Davidson’s journey and the powerful message his story offers about mental health.Recommended resources:■ Pete Davidson’s full interview with Charlamagne Tha God (YouTube)■ The Tragic Real-Life Story of Pete Davidson (Full Grunge Article)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.