manipulative love: narcissistic mothers, enmeshed parentified children, and emotional incest (reviewing jeanette mccurdy's book "i'm glad my mom died")

Former Nickelodeon child-star Jennette McCurdy's provocatively titled memior “I’m Glad My Mom Died” became a near-instant New York Times bestseller after its release in August 2022. The Audible version of the book is narrated by Jeanette herself and details her struggles with disordered eating, alcohol addiction, OCD, unstable relationships and – most notably – her extremely complicated relationship with her codependent, overbearing, and abusive mother. In this episode, I discuss my reflections on the book. Through dissecting Jeannette’s experiences she so bravely shared in this memoir, we’ll dive into what we can learn about parentification, enmeshment (also known as “emotional incest”) and the devastating impact these kinds of toxic family dynamics can have on childhood development that carry on far into adulthood. 

Questions answered and topics explored in this episode:

■ The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry (the trauma faced by child actors)

■ The devastating impact of emotionally immature and “narcissistic” parents

■ Signs you may have suffered childhood emotional incest (also known as “covert incest”)

■ Signs you were a parentified child (the damage parentification can have on highly sensitive children)

■ “The narcissistic mother” (the long-term effects these traits have on their daughters)

■ How childhood trauma can lead to adult identity problems

■ How children of cancer patients can experience post-traumatic stress disorder (parental cancer and its psychosocial impact on children)

Recommended resources:

■ I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

■ The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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