shame series part 5: unraveling the impact of abandonment

What is this sneaky, yet destructive thing called toxic shame, and could it be the root cause of our continued suffering and emotional dysregulation? Toxic shame lies at the heart of most self-sabotaging behaviors that keep us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Signs of internalized toxic shame can manifest in various ways and differ from person to person. Persistent feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability and intimacy, difficulty setting boundaries, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability can all be indicators of toxic shame. This is part five in a multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame. In this episode, we will explore the devastating impact on our lives when internalized toxic shame becomes our state of being. We will also dive into the different ways abandonment can present in childhood through physical abuse, emotional abandonment, and deprived narcissism.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 11:24: Intro + reading of my poem “untethered” (the impact of toxic shame in my own life)

11:24 – 14:53: How toxic shame becomes a permanent state of being

14:53 – 19:35: Understanding the connection between toxic shame and abandonment trauma

19:35 – 36:32: Abandonment as physical absence

36:32 – 01:06:24: Abandonment as emotional neglect and deprived narcissism

01:06:24 – 01:12:57: Abandonment as physical abuse

PREMIUM PORTION: In the Premium half of the episode, I discuss my personal healing journey and the positive impact Somatic Experiencing therapy is having on my life. We finish up with a guided pendulation exercise inspired by the work of Peter Levine.

01:12:57 – 01:48:16: How somatic experiencing is helping me get back into my body

01:48:16 – 02:01:50: Guided pendulation exercise inspired by the work of Peter Levine (creator of Somatic Experiencing)

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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